Category: Grateful Heart Monday

Welcome to Grateful Heart Monday! I begin this week with gratitude for the unconditional love and acceptance I received at a holiday party just recently, from a number of people in AA who were in attendance there, that reminded me it doesn’t matter whether I’m gay or straight, I’m fully loved regardless.

On some level, I find it interesting that even in 2018, I’m far from feeling 100% comfortable with my sexuality. While I may fully accept it now as the way I was born, that doesn’t necessarily translate to being able to walk around every day and just be me, given the amount of racism that’s still present in our society. That being said, many years ago, when I first came to Toledo, Ohio, I joined an AA group where my sexuality wasn’t something I ever discussed. The reason for that is I was nervous about being in a state where conservatism was prevalent more than not, where religion and biblical passages were still being grossly misinterpreted by many, and where frankly, it just didn’t feel as safe being openly gay. Nevertheless, I became active in this group and made it my home, making a number of friends along the way. It was a daily meeting that met in the early morning hours and one that I actually looked forward to getting up and going to on pretty much every day of the week, even though I’ve never been much of a morning person.

After about a year of being active with them, and feeling like I was part of their family, the group read a story in the back of the Alcoholics Anonymous book one day that was titled “Tightrope”, where a person is closeted and severely drinking to deal with their sexuality. The story hit so close to home that I became quite emotional, enough so that I gained the courage to share why. That day I openly told everyone there I was gay and how much my life story was in those very words. Sadly, after that, I felt more of an icy presence from a number of those whom I thought of as part of my AA family. It wasn’t long after that I left that group and found another where I was more able to be myself. Four years later, last weekend in fact, I found myself at a holiday party where the majority of those in attendance were from that group. Ironically, where I thought I might feel out of place and awkward being there (and with my partner no less), I was embraced, loved, and welcomed very warmly. Several times in fact, I was also asked to come back to my original AA group, that what transpired back then was only the negative actions of a select few and wasn’t felt by the majority. Hearing that was most certainly a blessing, that’s for sure.

I must say, my presence here in Toledo has been an arduous one almost since the beginning. I have been the recipient of plenty of rejection from those who’ve felt homosexuality is a sin to those who simply haven’t liked my East coast personality and spiritual beliefs. Honestly, I haven’t received much unconditional love here and have struggled immensely because of it. Yet, on a night where holiday festivities where the main theme, God saw fit to move the hearts of several there in attendance, to express their sincere apologies for the negative actions of a few others who didn’t represent their AA group as a whole. Receiving those sentiments, strong hugs, and loving words from them, I left the party that night with a mountain of gratitude.

For something that left sadness within me for such a long time, I felt a true lifting of it that night, knowing the doors to an old AA group I once was a part of are waiting for me to enter them again whenever I wish, where unconditional love and acceptance of me and my sexuality, is now present in abundance just beyond…

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Welcome to this week’s Grateful Heart Monday, where I reflect on a single piece of gratitude to start my week off on a positive note, which for today is for two local automobile places, Tireman (on Alexis Road) and Jim White Toyota.

I’ve always been wary of any place that deals with either automobile sales or repairs. So many dealerships and repair shops have swindled far too many in this world, including me. Hence the reason why I tend to get quite wary when I walk into one of these types of establishments. Thankfully though, I’ve discovered two very reputable places here in Toledo, Ohio that I am grateful for and feel I can honestly stand by and support 100 percent.

The first is Tireman, a place that does vehicular repairs. While there are a number of them in this area, I have come to really appreciate the one nearest to my home, that being the one on Alexis Road. I have been to them plenty of times since moving to this area and have never found them to be dishonest with either of the cars my partner Chris and I have brought them to be serviced. I’ve always found their prices to be consistently lower in cost, even as their quality remained higher in standard and never did I feel like they were trying to sell me a repair I knew I didn’t need. Over the years since first finding them, I came to know two of its managers, Randy (who’s since moved on to a new position a few years ago now) and Matt (who’s the current one). Their friendliness, willingness to answer all my questions, and expert customer service has always been something pretty spectacular, given how often I’ve felt brushed off and unimportant at other rival repair shops. But far more important is the trust they always placed in me. In fact, on more than one occasion, when I wasn’t confident that my repair job was truly fixed, they trusted me enough to drive my car away without paying and to come back only after I was confident the problem was fixed. That says something given how many repair shops seem to care about nothing more than the money they get for the job itself. I’ve never found that to be the case at this Tireman location, as there, I’ve always felt valued and appreciated as a customer and haven’t had to witness my personal bank account being depleted in the process.

Similarly, I have much gratitude for a local dealership, that being Jim White Toyota. Recently, Chris and I began looking for a new vehicle after learning that his existing 2006 Kia Sportage was literally on its last legs with a completely rusted chassis that’s about to separate from the body of the car itself. Because of the incredible longevity of my current 2007 Toyota Camry Hybrid, Chris became interested in looking at what Toyota had to offer in the SUV line of cars and thus we went to the closest dealer to our home, that being Jim White Toyota. Normally, I don’t like car dealers because I feel hounded from the moment I walk into their doors, where the only thing that seems to matter is the sale of their next vehicle. I never once experienced this at Jim White over the past bunch of months when this car shopping process ultimately began. Upon walking into their doors for the very first time in this car search for Chris, we met a saleswoman named Cara who was so upbeat and cheerful, it actually felt contagious, something I’ve needed far more of lately. Attentive to our every need, even on down to offering us beverages and snacks any time we stopped in, Cara has been such a positive blessing to our car shopping experience. I never once have felt hugely stressed when working with her, unlike how I’ve felt in almost all of my prior car shopping experiences. From her finding the exact car we wanted, to getting it at the cost we could afford, to making sure she answered every one of my endless questions, I honestly have a tremendous amount of appreciation for this woman. But even beyond that, I also have immense gratitude for her general manager, Vinnie, who worked diligently, and put up with my incessant demands, to ensure Chris and I were not only completely satisfied, but also helped us to reach a more than fair selling point on just about every facet of the vehicle Chris and I ended up with, that being a RAV 4 XLE.

So, as I continue to go to the Alexis Tireman location for my aging Camry Hybrid, while my partner begins a new relationship with Jim White Toyota, I am filled with much gratitude for both, knowing that Chris and I have places we can take our vehicles here in Toledo where we’re not only truly appreciated and valued as customers, but also where I feel we’re treated like family…

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Welcome to another chapter of Grateful Heart Monday, where I begin each week with a piece of gratitude to start things off on a positive note, which for today I want to express my thanks for the life I’ve been given.

For those who know the suffering I’ve been going through, there have been far too many days where I’ve lost focus on the life I’ve been given. Instead, I’ve chosen to focus on self-pity, misery, and often even anger for what I continue to go through. But, after watching two movies today, one about a famous journalist who toured many war-torn countries, and one about a low-income writer who suffered immensely from a poor self-image, dishonesty and alcoholism, I realized I needed to be far more grateful for the life God blessed me with, even if it currently is filled with tons of physical pain.

The fact is I could have been born into a family that was utterly poor.

I could have been born into a family from an area on this planet where food and water are at a constant shortage.

I could have been born into a family who lived in a place where bombs and gunfire fly on a daily basis.

I could have been born into a family where sexual and physical abuse were prevalent.

I could have been born with any number of disabilities that prevented me from living out any semblance of an average life.

I could have been born anywhere where freedom to be me wasn’t present.

The reality is I could have been born into any number of situations far worse than the one I was born into and am now presently living with.

So, while I might have been born into a family plagued with alcoholism and depression, I was raised with good moral values, who did their best to place the focus on God first, and who never allowed me to experience a shortage of anything. And as an adult, even though my life has been plagued for the last 8 and ½ years with chronic pain, I’ve never been deficient with food, water, shelter, clothing, or even companionship. So, I choose to be thankful today for the life I’ve been given, rather than beginning my week off focusing on what I don’t have. Because ultimately, I have been blessed, and for that I’m truly grateful.

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson