Category: Grateful Heart Monday

Welcome to Grateful Heart Monday, where I start the week off writing about a special piece of gratitude from my life, which for today is for something that occurred last Monday evening at a ManKind Project (MKP) group I once was a regular attendee of.

I think it might be good to start off with a very quick explanation of what MKP actually is, especially if you’ve never heard of it before. In short, it’s a men’s spiritual organization that was founded on the principles of helping men learn to lead lives of integrity, authenticity, and service. Within MKP, after a man embarks upon an initial weekend, known as the New Warrior Training, he usually joins what’s known as an Igroup, which essentially is a circle of men who regularly meet and use the processes from their initial weekend to guide and assist them in healing any of their wounds endured from life.

With that being said, I’ve been a member of MKP since 1999 and have been part of various MKP groups that have met weekly or bi-weekly in the Washington D.C., Boston, and now Detroit/Toledo areas. Currently, the group I regularly attend is one I helped to start in the Toledo area in the past six months or so. But, before I did, the MKP group I was a member of actually resided in Ann Arbor and met on Monday nights near the University of Michigan.

There, I grew quite close to a number of men from that group, each of whom helped me to accomplish much on my spiritual journey during the course of almost two years of time. Unfortunately, I became at odds with a few of those men during the summer of 2017 over the way some of the processes were being run and abruptly left the group, along with a few others, early that fall because of it, solely to start a new group much closer to home.

Regrettably, my abrupt departure from that group though wasn’t what MKP stood for and actually put me out of integrity with both myself and them. You see, when one leaves an MKP group for whatever their reason, they always attend one final meeting to officially check out, giving others in the group a chance to process their departure and to also officially close the door in a clean fashion.

It took me almost 10 months to find the courage to return to that group for one more meeting in the hopes that I could cleanly check out, get back in integrity, and provide some healing for men who had been affected by my hasty action. And last Monday night was when that took place.

At first, it didn’t necessarily go as I had hoped. The two men I had been most at odds with last summer appeared to be even angrier with me and said my presence there was only creating more disruption for the group. When the two of them opted to not stay that evening for the meeting because of me being there, I felt an incredible sense of shame at how things might have been different if I had just stuck around a little longer last summer and used the MKP processes to work through the issues I had with the group.

Nevertheless, for the nine men who remained, there was quite an amount of unrest after that. Some suggested cancelling the meeting that evening, while others said I should do my check out and head home. Thankfully though, when I offered to do an amends and work through my out-of-integrity actions, they all chose to stay and hear me out.

Over the course of the hour that followed, I utilized processes that I’ve only found exist in the MKP realm to get back into integrity. Through them, the nine men there were able to accept my amends and in turn, help me through a piece of spiritual work that left me feeling supported, loved, and embraced, which is precisely the gratitude I have to start this week off with.

These men could have easily asked me to leave, or opted to leave themselves and not have a meeting at all that night, but they each remained and did their own spiritual work to forgive me for my hasty action that had left things in their group in a slight state of chaos last Fall.

Having nine brothers warmly embrace me in my tears, and honor me for walking through my fears to get back into integrity with them, was such a huge blessing. And while I’m saddened that the two men I was most at odds with have chosen to not forgive me at this time, I remain hopeful that one day they will. Until then though, I still have an incredible amount of gratitude for the brothers of this Ann Arbor MKP group for choosing to look beyond any judgments they may have had of me and see me instead as not only their brother, but also their friend…

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Every now and then I come across a story that reminds me that God really is there watching over us and today I’d like to share one with all of you for a very special Grateful Heart Monday entry, a day where I begin each week writing about a single piece of gratitude I have from my life.

This story begins with a guy I helped a few years ago in the 12 Steps of recovery for an addiction that was extremely hard for him to shake. But before you read any further, I just want to clarify that I did receive permission from him to share this with all of you.

Nevertheless, it took me about a year and a half to walk this gentleman fully through the steps and I saw much progress within him by the end of it. Unfortunately, the addiction he had been fighting still had a slight foothold within him that took any icy grip back onto him towards the end of the summer during the same year we had finished doing our recovery work together.

After a few days of relapse, he returned to recovery and doubled his efforts to remain sober and would go on to remain that way for another year. But sadly, at just about the time he was going to pick up his one-year medallion for a second time, his addiction took over again, this time for almost a week.

At this point, I wondered if he was going to be one of those people who spend their lives in a vicious cycle going around and around with periods of recovery and periods of relapse. When I asked him if he wanted to truly remain sober, I wasn’t convinced with his answer and so the only thing I could do was pray and turn it over to God. And believe me I prayed, a lot actually, for God to help this man find true recovery from his addiction that would last.

When another year rolled by and brought him into the present summer, I began seeing the same restless, irritable, and discontent individual showing up again. I was seeing that same someone who appeared to be itching for a relapse. When I asked him what it was going to take to end this insanity, he said he honestly didn’t know.

Of course, I told him about the “Yet’s” that tend to occur after repeated relapses, “Yet’s” such as losing one’s health, relationship, job, money, or even children and other loved ones. I reminded him that God had been good to him, giving him a beautiful wife, children, and even the dream job he always wanted and how none of these things had happened…yet. Of course, he responded with what most people say to this every time I bring it up, that being the “I know, I know…”  So, once again, I had to turn it over and leave it up to God with my prayers.

People say that God doesn’t answer prayers quite a bit these days and sometimes I find myself even saying that, especially when my pain levels are ridiculously high. But, what happened next with this man is precisely why I’m starting this week of with gratitude, all because of an experience he had with God.

I only found out about it because he called me up one day in a state of shock. In all truthfulness, when I heard his quivering voice on the other end of the phone, I assumed he had relapsed again. As I prepared myself to offer my best unconditional love and guidance like I had the two previous years, he shared with me something I didn’t expect.

He told me that late one night the other day, he was sitting in his house, while everyone else was asleep, when his 4-year-old daughter suddenly emerged in the room where he was sitting. It was apparent she was sleep walking, except she appeared to be fully awake. When she approached her Dad, she said nothing but four words, “Daddy, I’m more important!” She repeated this statement three times and said nothing more than that, and then returned to her bed, promptly falling right back asleep.

When my friend told me this, I had no doubt whatsoever that this was a message coming from Source. You see, my friend is one of the most skeptical people when it comes to God, but when his 4-year-old daughter said those four words, everything changed for him.

Somewhere deep within him, he knew she was talking about his addiction and reminding him how it’s not as important as her. And given she has no idea that he’s in recovery for an addiction and also has no understanding of what an addiction is either, is exactly why he was able to finally believe God was real and attempting to communicate with him. For once, my friend was able to overcome his skepticism and ever since, he’s felt no desire to relapse and been far more concerned about the potential of losing his daughter than anything.

As for me, in the end, I believe his daughter’s message was both a blessing and a warning. A blessing to show my friend that God truly is watching over him and a warning that all the breaks he’s gotten over the years from his past relapses with never any real consequences, might not necessarily be there in the near future if he continues to choose self-will over God’s will.

Regardless, I’m sure everyone reading this could probably form a different opinion about this story that ranges from it’s all bullshit and means nothing, to it’s all real and was a burning bush of sorts. Personally, for a guy like me who longs to have an encounter with God again, I’m choosing to believe that God spoke through my friend’s daughter in a very loving way that only my friend could appreciate, understand, and accept the message. And because of this, I now have a tremendous amount of gratitude to start my week off with, seeing that God really does answer our prayers…

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Welcome to another Grateful Heart Monday, where I begin my week with a single piece of gratitude to start things off on a positive note, which for today is for the Alcoholic Anonymous (AA) recovery community in Massachusetts.

Last week, I got to return there, which is the very place where all my AA recovery work began. The AA recovery community there is quite unique and unlike any other recovery community I’ve ever visited or been a part of in this world.

The very thing that sets this AA recovery community apart from all the other AA recovery communities is the fact that most groups there are commitment-based, which simply means they each go out on a weekly basis to other groups, detoxes, and various other institutions to put on meetings simply to share their experience, strength, and hope with others. In doing this regularly within a home group, it generally bonds recovering individuals together a whole heck of a lot more.

I had a great reminder of this when I went to an AA men’s 12 Step meeting last Monday night and also a detox-based commitment on Tuesday night, as at both, I was welcomed in with open arms and placed in huge embraces with total strangers in recovery. It honestly felt like I was back to being part of a big family again and for that I was extremely grateful.

Another thing about the Massachusetts AA recovery community I’m grateful for is how they handle sobriety anniversaries. In most other recovering communities, when it’s time for someone to receive an annual milestone of sobriety, a person usually just quickly introduces the one who’s celebrating and congratulates them. And that tends to be followed by the person receiving their sobriety medallion saying they were able to reach that milestone by working the program one day at a time.

Yet, in Massachusetts, when they do a medallion presentation, a person usually speaks for a few minutes on behalf of the individual celebrating where they honor the hard work that went into achieving the milestone. And when that’s done, the celebratory person also gets a chance to speak for a few minutes about all the things that helped them to get there successfully. It’s the very reason why I used to look forward to receiving my annual milestones.

Lastly, there is a social fellowship in the AA Massachusetts recovery community that far exceeds anywhere else, at least from my perspective, and that’s something to be grateful for indeed. Case in point, my best friend coordinated a dinner for me on my very first evening back in his area and there seven other recovering individuals showed up after years of me not being around and there, they made me feel incredibly loved.

That’s why ultimately, I really just miss the AA community in the Massachusetts vicinity because I have so much to be grateful for when it comes to them. Their warm, loving, and sincere camaraderie has consistently made it very easy for me to feel welcomed and it’s something I continue to feel present any time I visit.

The bottom line is that I’m overly grateful for the AA recovery community in Massachusetts because it’s second to none, in my opinion, compared to the many other AA recovery communities in the world. From the commitment-based groups to the personal sobriety anniversary presentations to the fellowship, I have plenty of reasons why I’m grateful to this community. And it’s one of the biggest reasons why I’m still sober today and why I found a deeper relationship to God as well…

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson