Category: Recovery From Addictions

There are three levels of honesty that one can have in their life: honesty with oneself, honest with another, and honesty with a Higher Power. For those in the midst of suffering from a major addiction, it’s generally likely that their levels of honesty in each of those areas are minimal to none. By the time they find 12-Step recovery, most of the people in their life are already aware of this, but usually the addict themselves is still quite oblivious to it all. That’s only because dishonesty has become such a way of life for them. Thankfully there are three of those 12 Steps though, which are geared to helping them begin the path of getting honest with each of those levels.

Step Four is the first of them and it’s all about getting honest with oneself. It’s about taking a fearless and thorough inventory of any resentments they’ve ever experienced in life. It’s involves looking in the mirror at how their own actions led to each of their resentments. It’s about taking a deeper look into any of the fears they’ve had throughout life. And it’s even also about taking a closer inspection to their entire sex conduct. Thinking about all of this is one thing, but it’s another altogether when an addict is forced to write it all down. On paper, it soon becomes very realistic just how much their disease of addiction has affected them. It allows them to face the destruction and devastation it’s created. And by the time that addict completes the writing of an exhaustive 4th Step, they will be able to see they’ve taken a huge step forward in getting honest because they’ve now done it with themselves.

As the recovering addict moves forward into Step Five, they begin to face the reality that they need to get honest with everyone else in life too. This step is simple in method but frequently difficult in execution for that addict. Telling lies again and again to others and then lying to cover up those lies were all the normal way of life for them not too long ago. To find recovery means they must break that pattern. Step Five forces that addict to read their entire written fourth step to another individual. This generally raises a lot of fear within them because it’s the first time in their life they are forced to expose those dishonest things they’ve done throughout their lives. Most choose to read their 4th Step work to their sponsor who has walked them through the steps so far. But others sometimes choose to find a clergyman, a priest, a pastor, or even a total stranger to read it to. Regardless of the method chosen, taking this action is huge for a recovering addict as it’s usually the first time in their sobriety they get fully honest with another individual. And by the time they complete this step, they have now been able to open that door even wider to getting totally honest because they’ve now done it with someone else.

The last step that’s important to mention, which is the one that helps in getting honest with a Higher Power, is Step Six. The addict’s work in this step is entirely devoted to spending dedicated time with the God of their understanding. Most sponsors will guide a sponsee in this step to take plenty of time to meditate, pray, and reflect upon the work they’ve done so far in the steps. Sitting alone with one’s thoughts and doing this action can prove to be quite challenging for a recovering addict. But in doing so, they can begin to work on developing a much closer relationship with their Higher Power. The goal in this step is to be ready for that Higher Power to remove all their addict-based behaviors. Of course, one of the major ones to be removed here is the dishonesty.

By the time a recovering addict begins to move into Step 7 and beyond, there’s a good chance they are now getting a lot more honest on every level, especially if they have worked each of the prior three steps thoroughly. Unfortunately, if they haven’t, the likelihood is that they are still remaining dishonest either to themselves, to another, or to their Higher Power. And all that is going to do is drive them right back into their addiction once again.

So if you are in the middle of working the steps or have just found them, make sure you do a thorough Step Four, Five, and Six when you get to them. In doing so, you will find yourself getting a lot more honest on every level in life, and will see your recovery getting that much stronger too. But even more importantly, you’ll be able to have better relationships with yourself, with everyone else, and with God, and your chance of relapsing will become that much less too…

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson

I was never one much for living in any type of addiction during the mornings or afternoons. In fact, if anything, I usually felt a renewed sense of conviction during those times of the day to tell myself that I would never do any of them ever again. But as soon as that sun would set and the darkness of the night would emerge, that late night addict in me would begin to appear once again.

I’m not exactly sure why I was never a daytime type of addict. I know many others have been though as I’ve heard their stories in the various recovery meetings I’ve attended over time. But I was never one much for drinking or drugging during the day. I usually didn’t seek out any casinos, promiscuous sex, or stare at porn during those times either. Maybe that’s because I felt so hung-over each day from my previous night’s addiction-based activities, whatever they were. Or maybe it’s because it was easier to do those dark-filled behaviors at night so I could blend in with the darkness of the night itself. Either way, I spent more than two decades of my life living that way.

It’s been about two years now since ending my last full-blown addiction. Unfortunately, a side effect has remained from having lived that way for so long. I frequently have found myself quite restless and full of energy during the late night hours of 10pm to 2am. Thankfully, I’ve been able to learn some ways to distract myself from that old addiction drive that used to come during those hours of the evening.

One of the best ones is my love of puzzles. They have become an incredible way for me to keep my mind occupied during those hours when I used to peruse the bars or the web. I generally work on ones that are 750 to 1000 pieces until I find myself getting exhausted.

Another one is actually my love of writing. Some of my most creative moments in this blog have come during those late night hours. I’ve found that I’m usually very tired by the time I finish composing one of my articles.

Reading books or studying something new is also a way I’ve found I can keep myself busy during those times. Lately, I’ve been learning the art of Tarot card reading and I’ve noticed it generally only takes a chapter for me to find my eyes closing from fatigue.

And of course watching movies, television programs, meditating, and even cleaning the house have become other ways I’ve learned how to distract myself from those old addict based urges that used to come during those late night hours.

It’s not as bad as it used to be. In fact, I’m starting to see now that many of those old urges aren’t even there anymore when the nighttime rolls in. Instead, I look forward now to my late night distractions as if they were a regular part of my evening enjoyments. That’s a far cry from how I used to occupy them with things such as Internet chat sites and staring at porn until the sun came up! I’m grateful to my Higher Power that I’m not that late night addict anymore but sadly, there are so many out there who still are.

If you think you may be one of them and want to come out of the darkness and into the light, I encourage you to try spending your evenings finding other activities that are much healthier for you to engage in. Take up a craft, find a hobby, study something, or learn to enjoy just being with yourself. In doing so, instead of becoming high from the unhealthy addictions your late night addict once did with so much regularity, you’ll soon find yourself beginning to enjoy your evenings from just being high on life.

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson

Individuals battling with any type of active addiction often think they’re invincible. They frequently reassure themselves that everything is ok because they haven’t had a truly bad experience stemming from it. They generally will continue holding that false sense of cockiness about themselves as they descend even deeper into their addiction. But what they don’t realize is that nothing bad has happened to them “YET”.

In the 12-Step recovery world, the “Yet’s” are the things that always end up forcing a person to face their addiction and find healing from it. Unfortunately, those things are never pleasant and instead are usually quite tragic. For whatever the reason, a person suffering from any addiction always seems to have to be totally broken before they will seek recovery from it. Many of those “Yet’s” will cause an addict to become that way and sadly, it doesn’t have to be like this. But for whatever the reason, in almost every case I’ve ever seen in recovery, an addict will go to the brink of destruction before seeking help. They even go through experiencing many of those “Yet’s” before they finally become powerless enough to want to change.

Here are some examples of those “Yet’s” that exist from engaging in addictions:

1. Being kicked out of one’s home.

2. Banks repossessing personal belongings.

3. Being arrested and sentenced to jail.

4. Developing extremely serious health conditions.

5. Being fired from your job.

6. Losing a long-term relationship.

7. Contracting a disease.

8. Living off the streets.

9. Accidentally or purposely killing another.

10. Having thugs constantly chase after you for their money.

And this is only a fraction of the tragic things that have happened to people who have become addicted to something. I thank God that the worst that needed to happen to me was to develop some temporary, but very serious health issues to get me to stop my own pattern of self-destruction with addictions. For one of the men I’ve been working with in recovery though, he wasn’t so fortunate.

He decided that his pain wasn’t great enough so he went back out for one more high. Unfortunately, it landed him back in jail, which was the one place that was his greatest fear of ever going back to. Ironically, he’s lucky though. Some others I’ve known who decided to go back out one more time never came back at all because they overdosed and died that time. Truly, that is the worst “yet” that can happen to anyone from being active in any type of addiction.

So if you happen to be someone who is battling one yourself right now, I encourage you to take a moment, breathe, and ask yourself this. What kind of “Yet” needs to happen to you before you finally wake up and realize just how sick you really are? And what kind of “Yet” needs to knock you down enough to where you finally will do what it takes to free yourself from that bondage? I hope and pray for your sake that God will enlighten you before the “Yet’s” tear you apart even more or end up taking your life altogether.

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson