Category: Silly Joke Friday

A man walks into a church one day and kneels down to pray. “Lord,” he says, “I’ve made mistakes, but I’m determined to change. If you let me win the lottery, I promise to be a good servant and never bother you again.”

Nothing happens. So, the next week the man tries again. “Please, God, let me win the lottery, and I’ll come to church every week.”

Again, nothing happens. So, the man decides to try one last time. “Lord,” he implores, “why haven’t I won the lottery? Have you abandoned me?”

Suddenly a deep voice booms down from above. “My son, I have not abandoned you, but at least meet me halfway—buy a ticket!”

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Walking through the forest, an atheist hears a rustling in the bushes. Turning, he sees a massive grizzly charging towards him! He runs as fast as he can but trips over a stump and falls. As the bear raises a huge paw to strike, the atheist screams: “God! Help me!”

Time freezes. The bear becomes immobile, the forest is silent, and the river stops running. Then the atheist hears a powerful voice: “You have denied my existence for years, taught others I don’t exist and credited my creation to a cosmic accident. Why should I help you?”

“It would be hypocritical to ask you to show mercy on me,” the atheist agrees. “But perhaps you could make the bear a Christian?”

At that, the noise of the forest resumes, the river runs, and the bear drops to its knees, brings its paws together, and says, “Lord, for this food which I am about to receive, I am truly thankful.”

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

A man walked to the top of a hill to talk to God.

The man asked, “God, what’s a million years to you?” and God said, “A minute.”

Then the man asked, “Well, what’s a million dollars to you?” and God said, “A penny.”

Then the man asked, “God…..can I have a penny?” and God said, “Sure…..in a minute.”

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson