Category: The Power Of Prayer

I’ve been having a lot of fears lately about the state of my health. In fact, I’ve been consumed with it more than not, which means I’ve been dealing with it mostly in my head instead of my heart. This is specifically why I decided it would be best to write a prayer about it so that I can give it up to God. So here goes:

“Dear God, I’ve really been struggling lately over the state of my health. It truly seems as if my body is hurting everywhere and there are too many days now where all of it just completely overwhelms me. I’m scared because I haven’t had much relief in quite a while and I honestly can’t remember what having a good day feels like anymore. God, the only thing I know to do anytime I become this fearful is pray, so I ask that You help me dispel all these fears that I keep on having about my health and healing. Please also help me to continue trusting I’m on the right path and let me know if I should ever deviate from it as well. But most importantly, please help me to not let any of these health-related fears consume me any longer, as they only drive me farther away from feeling close to You. Thank you God for hearing my prayer. Amen.” 

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson

I know that many people will probably think the purpose of today’s entry might be a little ridiculous, but I don’t. Given the current state of our country’s affairs, especially in matters of gay rights, I’ve truly been concerned about this upcoming presidential election in 2016.

Our country is very charged right now on so many issues. But the one I’m most affected by at the present time is this one dealing with gay rights. There are far too many individuals at the present time in the United States fighting to oppress a gay person’s ability to have full equality in this country, using religious context as their basis.

While I know many have had their choice words about Obama, I’ve been overly grateful that he has taken a number of steps towards greater equality since he took office. But what’s going to happen to all his hard work and all the achievements so many others have fought for if the next president is severely conservative and believes homosexuality is a sin? Will steps start being taken, as they have been in places such as Indiana or Arkansas, to creating legislation that makes room for back-end forms of discrimination? Will my ability to having equal rights in things such as housing and jobs slowly begin to evaporate? Will the long battle for same-sex marriage be set back several decades?

I don’t have the answers to any of these questions, but I’m definitely concerned for where our country is going to head in the near future under the next president. Regardless, I spent a good majority of today talking about this very issue, which did nothing more for me than increase my sense of uncomfortability with it all. Thus, I felt it was most appropriate to go to the one thing that will bring me comfort and that’s to bring this into prayer with my Higher Power, so here goes…

“Dear God, I’m seriously concerned about where my country is headed. Lately it seems as if everyone is taking one side or another instead of coming together and finding love and acceptance amongst each other. I have a hard time believing that this is what You envisioned things coming to. Over the past eight years we’ve had a president that I believe has done his absolute best to bring forth greater equality. Yet, I’m seeing dissension towards achieving that on a constant basis lately, much in part due to people using their religious views as a means to judge and discriminate. Because of this, I’m not sure what’s going to happen if our next president is extremely conservative with very strong religious beliefs. I have great fear of the backwards steps that might be taken by a leader such as this, which would only end up moving us even further away from the very thing that Jesus said we should always practice. So I leave this prayer in Your hands God. Please guide our country over the upcoming year to select our next leader who will be someone that will work to bring us closer together, who will continue to guide us towards achieving equality between everyone, and who will promote unconditional love and acceptance of all. Thank you God. Amen.”

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson

Do I matter? This question is by far the thing that’s most challenging me in my life as of late. I was clearly reminded of this just over a week ago when a saw a Facebook posting on the newsfeed from an old sponsee of mine.

In it he mentioned how that day marked seven years of a life free from alcohol and drugs and also thanked a few names of people who had given him hope to reach his latest milestone in sobriety. But my name wasn’t one of them, and it bothered me immensely. I became even more perturbed when I saw he had over 200 “likes” to his posting and close to 100 comments as well praising his success. While I truly was happy for him and quite sure he received the recognition he might have hoped for and then some, I allowed it to get the best of me, becoming overly frustrated along the way. It made me think of all the motivational blogs I’ve been writing daily for over two years and how they’ve been read by very little and received even less recognition. It made me think of the many other sponsees I’ve done my very best to help who were often more apt to criticize than praise me for my efforts. And it made me think of the many other things I’ve tried to do to help make this world a better place that have often gone unnoticed.

Now don’t get me wrong, I do know and understand that all of these thoughts are totally coming from my ego. And I know that mattering in this world and being recognized by another person, place, or thing will never bring me the peace and serenity I seek in life. I get that, trust me I do. I get that this kind of attention only causes one to look for it again somewhere else once the buzz of receiving it wears off. I also get that true peace and serenity, and feeling like one matters in life must come from within.

Obviously I have an unresolved issue here in my own spiritual recovery and in all honesty, I’m trying to work through it now by writing about it here. I actually know where this pattern began. I know it began with my parents and my relationship to them because I spent my entire childhood trying to feel like I mattered to them and hoping they would recognize my achievements with a simple “I’m so proud of you” type of statement. But more than not, the message they taught me was how I could always do better. What this translated into was the pattern I’m still living in today on some level. I have spent too many years of my life trying to outdo myself, trying to overachieve and get recognition, and trying to have someone else or something else on this planet prove I matter.

Would it be different right now if my parents had paid more attention to me and given me unconditional love? Would it be different if they had told me over and over again how proud they were of me with no strings attached? I don’t know and truthfully being hypothetical here isn’t helping me to move beyond this. I have to find some way within to know that I matter. I have to find some way to stop seeking that outside recognition, which one friend used to refer to as “At-a-boys”.

Buddhism says that the path to total peace and serenity comes from the loss of self. Jesus demonstrated that quite a bit himself in the stories I’ve read about him. I have never thought of the word “ego” when it came to the original Buddha or Jesus, or any of the other great spiritual teachers who’ve left their legacies behind before passing on from this plane.

So the only thing I know to do right now is pray, pray for my Higher Power to help me move beyond this challenge and obstacle that has been plaguing me way too much as of late. So God, if you’re listening, which I really hope You are, please help me. Please help me overcome this pattern that has been around since I was such a young kid. I want to know God that I matter, but I truly want that to come from within and not from outside of me anymore. I want to be able to give myself all the recognition I ever need and be completely ok with that knowing that any of the outside recognition I’ve ever received has only led me to seek even more of it. I’m sure God that I matter to You, and that You probably have already recognized me time and time again for the hard work I’ve been putting in to grow closer to You. But I need help now to truly find that from within, as then and only then do I believe I will ever be at peace and find the serenity I truly seek in life. Thank You God. Amen.

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson