Category: Words From My Inner Child Andy

Q: What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
A: SUPPLIES!!!

Andy’s Woodsy Adventure (Chapters 1 to 18)

Andy’s Woodsy Adventure – Chapter 19

“OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, PLEAAASE SOMEONE HELP!” The frantic woman continued to scream and sob.

“Ok, here’s what I want you to do.” Chris said trying his best to tune out the woman’s pleas for help. “First use the Libra power so that no one sees you doing any of this. Next, go around the back of the house and deactivate Libra and then activate Taurus, as then the fire shouldn’t hurt you while you’re in the house looking for Jake and Noah…”

“Hold on a friggin’ second. It SHOULDN’T hurt me? That’s not very reassuring now is it?” I said feeling somewhat concerned.

“LOOK, we don’t have time for this. Just trust me, it’s going to work. Once, you find the kids in there, take them out the back door, disable Taurus after you set them down, and then tell them to run away from the house towards the street and then to the nearest firefighter. Lastly, use Libra again, and then meet me on the corner of the next street.”

“Chris, for both of our sakes, I truly hope your plan works without any hiccups…”

“Have faith my friend…I know you can do it. Good luck.”

I knew I couldn’t waste any more time worrying whether any of this was going to work or not. Every minute I stalled was putting those kids more at risk.

“LIBRA!”

Chris was still staring at me, as I looked over his shoulder and saw the woman’s mouth opened in mid-scream. Just beyond her were the firefighters spraying water from two different hoses, one on the front door and the other through a broken window upstairs. The stream from both now looked rather like a long ice bridge suspended in mid-air. I quickly headed around to the back of the house and wondered if I could make this whole process much easier by leaving time frozen. Maybe fire couldn’t hurt me if time was paused? I decided to try it on a nearby torrent of fire that was coming out one of the lower side windows. It honestly seemed harmless enough, so I walked over to it and reached my hand up into the beautiful orange glow.

“OWWWWWW!” I retracted my hand as fast as possible, but not before it got burned pretty well. I guess that answers that question. Note to self, stick to Chris’s plan.

My burned hand was really hurting now as I reached the back door and lightly grasped its handle, which was surprisingly cool to the touch. Upon turning it, I discovered it was unfortunately locked. I had no other choice but to break it open.

“LIBRA!”

“TAURUS!”

Immediately my burned hand completely healed itself, which was a huge relief. I wasted no time to reflect on it though, as I hastily turned the door handle with next to no effort, breaking the lock mechanism in the process. I then pushed it opened and instantly a wall of flames shot out, yet they didn’t burn me this time. Instead, it almost felt like a warm breeze was passing through me. I couldn’t say the same for my costume though, as small parts of it began to melt. As quick as I possibly could, I sped through the wall of flames and entered the kitchen, managing to stifle the parts of my outfit that were burning.

“JAKE! NOAH! WHERE ARE YOU?” I shouted as loud as I could with hope I would hear them shout back.

There wasn’t any response though. I shouted their names again even louder, but still nothing. The house was rapidly becoming engulfed in fire and I could tell several wooden beams downstairs might collapse soon. Thankfully all the thick smoke surrounding me though wasn’t affecting my ability to breathe and keep a clear head.

Strictly on impulse, I decided to run up the stairs to where the bedrooms most likely were. The first one I entered appeared to be the master bedroom, of which not much was left. The next one seemed to be an office, and there too everything was already fully entrenched in flames. Parts of my costume were now beginning to disappear because of the intensity of the fire and heat and I knew I didn’t have much time left before I’d probably be totally naked. And that was definitely something I didn’t want to happen! I promptly raced into the next bedroom trying to forget any worry of that occurring, but had no success there or with the bathroom across from it. I approached the last room I hadn’t entered yet, except this one had its door closed. I swiftly kicked it open and there in the corner of it next to a bunk bed and some toys scattered about were twins Jake and Noah, huddled together, but definitely not alert. The smoke in the room was so thick I could barely see them through it, but thankfully it wasn’t bothering my eyes. I raced over to them and shook them both, but neither stirred one bit. Shit, Chris didn’t prepare me for this! I had no choice but to try something he hadn’t laid out for me.

“TAURUS!”

“VIRGO!”

I instantaneously started coughing and my eyes burning with the heat just as excruciating. While lying as close to the floor as possible and praying I didn’t pass out, I then reached out to place my hands on both boys at the same time. I really had no idea whether I could heal two people at once, but it was the only option I had. As soon as my hands were firmly pressed upon the chests of both Jake and Noah, that electricity-like feeling began to shoot through me like it had before when I healed Chris. The energy bolts then jumped down my arms and out my fingertips, causing my hands to become super-hot in the process. Suddenly both of the boy’s eyes opened with each taking in deep breaths…

“COUGH! COUGH! COUGH!” Jake and Noah proceeded to hack loudly like I already was.

“Are…you…here to save us?” One of the twins asked me in between coughs.

“Yes, Look, I’m about to do a little magic to get you out of here. Just trust me ok?” 

“OK!” Both twins responded in unison. I could tell they were very scared. I was too, as the smoke felt like fire in my lungs with each breath I took.

“VIRGO!”

“TAURUS!”

Phew. I could breathe again and my watery vision cleared itself up as well. I then hurriedly picked up Jake and Noah and placed one under each arm, as if I was carrying two bundles of wood. They were definitely a few years younger than I, but based upon their size, I would have guessed they were each at least 60 pounds, although it felt as if I was holding onto two kids that weighed next to nothing.

As I flew out the door, both of them started screaming due to the intensity of the heat. The stairs were now completely buried in flames and I knew there was no way I could take them through that wall of fire. I had only one possible exit at this point, the bathroom. It appeared to be the only thing that wasn’t on fire and there was a window in there.

“So do you guys trust me still?” I said to Jake and Noah setting them down near the window in the bathroom I had just entered.

“Yes, why, what are you gonna do?” One of the twins answered while the other started crying pretty hard, apparently quite scared.

“You’re both going to jump out this window one after another, once I’m down on the ground and I’m going to catch each of you.”

“WHAT?!” The crying twin abruptly said in between sobs.

“Please just trust me ok?” I said trying to reassure him.

I didn’t wait for them to say anything else as the flames had now blocked our exit from the bathroom. Both were coughing uncontrollably by the time I got the window opened and had thrown the screen to the ground. I then climbed out and jumped without thinking, finding it almost hard to believe how effortless it was when I reached the ground.

“Ok, come on. JUMP!” I said as I prepared my hands to catch whoever went first.

The twin that hadn’t been crying quickly climbed through the window with no hesitation and jumped. I caught him with ease and motioned for his brother to do the same, except he continued to peer over the edge fully paralyzed in fear. I yelled again for him to jump, but to no avail.

I knew there wasn’t any time left for this so I leaped as hard as I could and reached the window easily. I could see the flames had now entered the outer perimeter of the bathroom, leaving me with no choice but to grab the boy’s arm with one of my hands and roughly drag him out the window. As soon as I did, I let go of the windowsill with my other hand and fell to the ground. I landed on my back while still holding onto him, but thankfully it hadn’t hurt either of us. He immediately then bolted out of my arms and stood on his feet, next to his brother.

“Now run as fast as you can away from your house towards the street and then head over towards the firefighters ok? You mom is there with them now and I’m sure she’ll be more than happy to see you both are safe!” I said as I stood up and brushed myself off.

“Thank you mister superhero,” said the twin who had jumped first. “So who are you anyway beneath that mask and how did you do all that?”

“Don’t worry about any of that. Just run. Your mom needs to know you’re safe.”

“Thanks for saving me too,” said the other twin who had finally stopped crying.

“You’re both welcome, now go!”

I watched as they ran away from the house, making it safely to the street, and then disappear heading towards the firefighters and their mother.

“TAURUS!”

“LIBRA!”

I walked slowly back around the house, amazed I had actually pulled it all off. The rush of helping save Jake and Noah felt incredible. Once I reemerged on the other side of the house where the firefighters were still battling the blaze, I was able to see the teary mother with arms outstretched, and just beyond, the boys running towards her. A television crew had already arrived and was now filming the whole scene, which I’m sure, would make for great headline news later that night. When I reached enough of a safe distance where no one could see me, I unfroze time and saw Chris standing on the corner of the next street over as promised.

“Well?” Chris said in anticipation when I reached him, while handing me my bag of candy.

“They’re safe, but not without a few of those hiccups I’ll have you know!”

“What do you mean?”

“I’ll tell you later, let’s just get out of here first. My costume feels like it’s totally stuck to me.”“Well at least most of it’s still on you, especially your mask, which means those boys shouldn’t know who you are right?”

“Yeah, I guess so…” I said, as we began to head down the hill to return to his house.

Little did I know though what was taking place at that very moment back at the still blazing fire…

“I think you’re going to want to see this!!!” said a man wildly shaking his Iphone in the air while racing over towards the filming TV crew and the female reporter.

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson

Q: Did you ever hear what happened with that movie named Constipation?
A: Yeah, it never came out…

Andy’s Woodsy Adventure (Chapters 1 to 17)

Andy’s Woodsy Adventure – Chapter 18

“Where were you all this time?” My sister managed to say in between sobs, as she continued to hug me quite tightly.

“You’re just a little confused right now. I’ve actually been home for awhile.” I said feeling completely clueless on what to do.

“LAURA, IS EVERYTHING OK UP THERE?” My mother shouted again from downstairs.

“MOM, EVERYTHING’S FINE!” I quickly shouted back. “Laura, you’re not going to understand this right now but somehow I accidentally erased your entire memory of me for the past six months.” 

“WHAT?” Laura’s sobs abruptly stopped.

“The only way you’re going to understand what I’m about to tell you is if I show you something first.”

I took the next few minutes to demonstrate the one zodiac power I knew wouldn’t make things worse, which was Libra. After pausing time while touching her hand and then showing her our parents downstairs completely frozen in mid-conversation, I was able to gain her undivided attention and could see she was now somewhat afraid. I then had to take the next hour to recap as best as I could the past six months from the precise moment I went into the woods. I re-told her all about the cave, the three hours of time that really was three years for everyone else, Chris finding out about my powers, learning of his Keeper role in my life, meeting the Council of the Zodiac, beginning my training as a Guardian in the woods, almost killing Chris in the process, her seeing my powers in action with the apple pie and tub of ice cream suspended in mid-air, and finally how I was trying to show her the Virgo ability when I secretly wished I had never told her anything, which somehow erased the entire past six months of her memories of me.

“I’m sorry, I really screwed things up this time. Chris told me not to play around with the Zodiac powers unless he was present, but I didn’t listen and now look what’s happened!” I said truly feeling awful inside.

“Maybe you should try doing the reverse?” My sister said rather calmly given her present circumstances.

“What do you mean?”

“Well why don’t you try using the Virgo ability again, but this time wish for all my memories of you to come back?”

“Do you really think that could work? What if it makes things worse?”

“I don’t think it could possibly get any worse than not remembering the past six months of you being around!”

“Are you sure?”

“JUST DO IT!”

“Ok, ok! Geez! VIRGO!”

 I then looked at my sister just like I had before and wished she would remember me at the police station and every single moment I had been home ever since.

“Anything?” I asked, my heart speeding up slightly in fear.

“Who are you and what are you doing in my brother’s room?!” My sister demanded, looking exceptionally alarmed.

“Oh no! You don’t know who I am now? I knew I shouldn’t have tried this Virgo ability again! Dammit!”

“HA HA! Just kidding! Yes, I remember everything now Andy! I really had you going…”

My sister began laughing so hard she snorted.

“That’s not funny!” I said, as I punched her arm.

“Oww! It kind of was actually!” Laura said as she rubbed her arm and grinned from ear to ear. “Anyway, I think that’s enough excitement for tonight so let’s continue this tomorrow, as I want to know more. And don’t worry, I promise I won’t tell anyone, not even Mom and Dad.”

“Thanks. I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Night!”

“Goodnight Laura.”

I made sure to deactivate the Virgo sign this time and then slept pretty restless the rest of the night. I have to say I did feel a whole lot better the next morning though when I saw my sister still retaining all of her memories of me. We ended up hanging out together for most of the day talking in great detail about everything I’d gone through so far since re-emerging from the cave. Chris came over that afternoon and hung out with us for a while as well, but wasn’t all too happy when he learned Laura now knew everything. He was even more perturbed when he discovered I had wiped her memories of me while showing off the Virgo ability and gave me the “I told you so” routine because of it. Thankfully, Chris didn’t hold onto a grudge and got quickly over it. By the time the day ended, it felt pretty good to know I now had two people in my life that I could be fully honest with about anything, especially with all this Zodiac stuff.

The next two weeks went by with nothing overly noteworthy to make mention of other than a few moments at school where I really wanted to play a prank or two on Trevor, the biggest school bully, along with his cronies. I was so tired of their constant picking on me that it made the allure of using the crystal to get back at them all the greater. I never did though, only because Chris continued to remind me of the great responsibility I had, as well as Council’s warnings. I guess I should also mention he did have me do some more training over both weekends back by the pond again, while Laura tagged along and watched. We didn’t try to take on any new Zodiac signs though, as Chris wanted to polish up the ones I already knew.

RING…. RING…. RING… “Hello? Oh, hold on a minute Chris, I’ll see if he’s ready.”

The ringing telephone had interrupted the thoughts I was having of my most recent training exercises. My father suddenly peeked his head in my door and handed me the phone letting me know it was Chris. I was just about fully dressed in my Halloween costume, getting ready for my final night of trick-or-treating. Next year I’d be too old to do it, which is why Chris and I had decided to have one last hurrah with it tonight.

“Hello?”

“Are you almost ready?” Chris said somewhat impatiently.

“Just about. I could always pause time if you want me to speed things up.”

“Ugh! No just hurry up!”

Ironically I was going as DC’s The Flash for my final night of candy hunting, even though I was taking so long to get ready. Chris had opted to go this year as Batman, which I thought was quite fitting as well given his role as a Guardian.

“I’ll be over in ten minutes Mr. Impatient.”

“Ok. See you then.”

I hung up the phone and then finished getting ready. After sprinting down the stairs and getting a 9pm curfew from my parents, I raced out the front door and headed immediately for Chris’s. When I arrived at his house, he was already waiting at the end of his driveway, bag in hand.

“You know we could have had a lot more time to trick-or-treat if I had used my powers.” I said as I greeted him with a fist bump.

“Yeah, and you probably would have erased all your family’s memories in the process…”

“Ha Ha. Very funny!” I said chuckling. So where to first?”

“Well it’s 6:30pm, we have about two hours to get as much candy as possible, so let’s go that way where there seems to be a lot more porch lights on.”

We headed off in the direction he had pointed to and began filling up our bags quite rapidly, only because we did more running than walking between houses. The first hour flew by far too quickly, but what was pretty cool is that just about every house so far had complimented us on our costumes. We had actually spent week’s prior deciding what to go as, using superheroes as the theme, and when we finally had made our minds up on what to go as, our parents ordered them for us online. They weren’t the cheap kind of costumes either, as both were leather-based and extremely authentic looking.

Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo… HOOOONK! HOOONK!

Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo… HOOOONK! HOOONK!

Two fire engines suddenly screamed by halting our latest approach to the next house.

“We need to follow them!” Chris said unexpectedly.

“What???”

“Come on!” Chris said, as he began to run as fast as he could in his Batman costume down the road, while I tried did my best to keep up with him.

I’m sure it looked fairly funny watching two costume-laden superheroes race after those fire trucks. I tried not to think about it or how uncomfortable I was running in my leather suit. As we drew near the last place we had seen the trucks off in the distance, the stench of smoke filled the air.

“There!” Chris said, as he pointed to the next street over where the strobing lights of the fire trucks were still flashing brightly.

As we arrived on the scene, a large two-story house was completely engulfed in flames. Outside it was a middle-aged woman screaming over and over again at the firemen who were just beginning to douse it with a huge torrent of water from each of the truck’s hoses.

“MY CHILDREN ARE STILL INSIDE THE HOUSE!!!”

“MA’AM WE ARE DOING OUR BEST TO CREATE AN ENTRANCE FOR US TO GO IN THERE AND RESCUE THEM!”

“OH MY GOD, JAKE, NOAH, OH MY GOD!”

“Andy, I think it’s time for you to finally become a real superhero…” Chris said turning away from the sobbing woman and blazing fire, now looking very intently upon me.

As the frantic woman continued to scream and sob for her two sons, I knew Chris was right. It was time to become a true Keeper…

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson

Q: What don’t comedians sleep for very long?
A: They do a lot of stand-up!

Andy’s Woodsy Adventure (Chapters 1 to 16)

Andy’s Woodsy Adventure – Chapter 17

“Virgo!” I muttered it as quickly as possible and in the lowest tone as well, hoping my sister wouldn’t hear me. I then watched as the remaining pie and tub of ice cream toppled onto the porch deck, pieces of apples and crust spilling out everywhere.

“What did you just do!?” my sister Laura asked quite pointedly.

“I tripped, isn’t it obvious?!” I responded a little too sternly.

“That’s not what I’m talking about and you know that!”

“What’s the matter dear…Oh!” said my mother who had just come up the porch stairs herself and noticed the contents of the pie now splattered everywhere.

“I’m sorry, I was a little too clumsy I guess…” I said feeling bad. 

I waited for my sister to say something to my mother about what she had seen, but she didn’t, much to my surprise. Mr. and Mrs. Riley then told me not to worry about the accident as they had just come up the steps themselves, while Chris looked over at me and then at my sister who was still intently staring at me. Her eyes said everything and I knew she wasn’t gong to let this one go.

After my mess was cleaned up and everything put away, I tried to put off my worried thoughts of when Laura was going to approach me again about what she might have seen. Thankfully, a game called Telestrations was able to distract those worries for a good hour or so. It was a lot of fun and dealt with combing sketching and that old kids telephone game of passing a message along. Our evening at the Riley’s soon came to an end not too much longer after we had finished playing the group game. As I was walking out the door with my family and saying my goodbyes to everyone, Chris abruptly pulled me aside.

“Did your sister see you use your powers?!” he whispered in an overly concerned tone.

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure she noticed the pie and ice cream hanging in mid-air…”

“Are you friggin’ serious? That might be a big problem.” 

“I know, but she hasn’t said anything else about it,” 

“Yet…Well just do what you do best if she asks about any of it.” 

“What do you mean? Lie? I thought you said I shouldn’t do that?” 

“Well I’m making an exception here.”

“Ugh, you make no sense. What kind of Keeper advice is that?”

“Just don’t do anything stupid.” 

“Like what?”

“Like anything…”

“Whatever, I’m sure I’ll handle it just fine.”

“Ok, call me tomorrow and let me know if anything happens.”

“Alright. Later…”

I then headed out the door, and silently walked home with my family, noticing my sister still looking over at me with that look like she knew something. When we arrived home, I immediately decided to call it a night, hoping that would alleviate any possibility of my sister cornering me about what she may or may not have seen. After saying goodnight to my parents, I just about ran up the stairs and brushed my teeth as fast as humanly possibly and then jetted into my bedroom, making sure to close the door firmly behind me. It wasn’t even two full minutes before my door suddenly flew back open.

“Talk or I’m telling.” My sister demanded.

“Tell you what?” I tried to play dumb.

“You know what I saw!” 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Stop lying and stop playing stupid!”

“Well, what do you think you saw?”

I really wished Chris were here right now because I knew the inevitable was about to happen.

“I saw that apple pie and tub of ice cream suspended in the air when you were reaching out for it. How did you do that?!” 

“I think your eyes were playing tricks on you Laura…”

“STOP IT! I know you had something to do with it! When we were back in the police station on the day you reappeared, I also saw how you were right next to me and then somehow in the blink of an eye, got to the other side of the room. You were telling us the truth the whole time about what happened to you in that cave weren’t you? And that crystal you showed us, it really does have each of the zodiac signs on it doesn’t it? 

I couldn’t lie anymore and something inside me was telling me I should trust her. For the first time in my life, I decided to try.

“Yeah Laura, you’re correct…about everything.”

“I knew it! Show me how it works!”

“I’m still trying to figure it all out, and honestly, Chris has the crystal right now?” 

“Why does he have it?”

“He’s considered the Keeper of the Zodiac and is its guardian.” 

I then had to spend the next 30 minutes telling her everything, rehashing just about the entire story from the beginning when I had gone into the woods back during the summer to play at my favorite spot. I told her about almost getting trapped permanently inside that cave. I told her about how it had only been hours for me when I re-emerged, while it had been years for everyone else. I told her about the powers I had learned so far, including almost choking to death the first time I had tried the Cancer power. I told her about Chris’s special ability that took us to the place where we met the Council of the Zodiac. And I even told her about my first real day of training that had happened earlier today, where I had nearly killed Chris from throwing that huge boulder.

“Wow, all of that is really true?!”

“Yeah and sometimes I find I still can’t believe it myself.”

“Can’t you show me how one of your powers works? Do you have to have the crystal on you?”

“No, I don’t need to have the crystal on me and I guess it really wouldn’t hurt to show you at least one…”

“How about my sign? What does Leo do?”

“Yeah, you don’t want to see that one because all it does it increase my senses and your perfume might stink me out too much if I did.” I said laughing.

“Very funny. Ha ha. Seriously, how about showing me again what Virgo does?”

“Well I thought that one only had the ability to heal others, but it appears as if I can do telekinesis as well. Ok, let me try. Let’s see if I can lift that book off my desk.”

“Virgo!”

I then looked at the book, and pointed my right hand towards it, trying to direct all my energy on it. As I did, I thought about whether I was making a mistake or not. Should I really have told her everything? I looked over briefly at Laura and then thought about Chris. I could only imagine what he’d be saying to me right now. My sister had this look of excitement on her face and I wondered if I shouldn’t have told her the whole story and instead, kept on lying like Chris had told me to do. I wished for a moment that she had never noticed me using the Libra or Virgo abilities. But so far, she seemed totally cool with everything. I shrugged off my worry and then refocused my energy back onto the book, and watched as it levitated a few feet off the desk when suddenly Laura screamed in delight.

“Oh my God Andy, you’re back! YOU’RE BACK! I thought I’d never see you again,” she said as she grabbed me and gave me a huge hug. “Where have you been? When did you get home? How did I get in here? And holy shit, how is that book floating over the desk!” 

“Laura, what’s wrong? What’s going on up there?!” my Mom shouted from downstairs obviously hearing her scream.

I looked up at my sister as she wept on my shoulder and knew I was in serious trouble. Dam it, why did I have to show her one of my powers…

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson