Category: Words To Live By

I have a spiritual teacher who has diligently and most definitely gone above and beyond the call of duty to help me heal over the past three years. She’s truly been a Godsend, especially on plenty of days when I’ve wanted to give up because of the unrelenting pain that continues to loudly knock on my door from within. Regrettably, I allowed my fear to get the best of me recently at the end of one of those pain-laden days, as I sent her a long email layered in negativity and frustration about my whole healing process. This only resulted in irritating her and me appearing codependent and overly needy. Since then, I’ve gone through a barrage of emotions, all of which have led me to writing this amends, because I most assuredly do owe her one.

Three years ago, I contacted her after finally saying goodbye to the last toxic relationship that was standing in the way of me stepping fully onto this healing path. When she told me then that she would take me on as a student and be my guide through the bumpy road to come, I was overjoyed. Not too long after that though, I know it became quite apparent to her on the amount of energy it was going to take to be my spiritual teacher, yet she gratuitously gave me that day in and day out, spending an exorbitant amount of time guiding me in the right direction.

By the time the first 365 days of being her student had passed, I had settled into a regular routine of connecting with her multiple times a week, usually for an hour on each of those occasions. Unfortunately, as the intensity of my spiritual work increased to cleanse my life, so did my level of pain, which only proceeded to increase my fear and demands on her time. Yet, she stuck by my side and patiently gave me hour after hour after hour answering the same questions again and again and again. And even as the next 365 days would pass after that, and even as my pain levels would rise even higher, she would remain by my side, constantly giving me gentle reminders to keep on keeping on, to help ease all those rising fears and worries that surrounded my heath.

Through her ongoing guidance and teachings, I soon began to discover the healing power of affirmations, audio spiritual attunements, and even through my writing when I took on her homework assignment to start this blog. There probably hasn’t been a day that’s passed since where I haven’t felt grateful in my heart for all her guidance and immense dedication to me, because she’s done more for me than probably anyone who’s ever tried to help me heal.

With that being said, the past 365 days of my healing process has been the greatest challenge I’ve ever had to face in life, as my pain levels have been a 10 out of 10 on more days than not. Because of this, I’ve had to battle tons of fear and continually work at removing it almost daily it seems, especially as of late. All the while she’s stayed my spiritual teacher, never giving up on me, and continuing to provide me those kind reminders that I would make it through this, particularly when I most needed them.

Sadly, I allowed my ego and my pain-based fear recently to get the best of me though when I sent her that long email late on a Sunday evening after a very excruciating weekend. I knew it had made a negative impact on her, as I could feel it in her words in the very next conversation we had a day later. I can only imagine how she felt because of all the time, effort, and energy she’s freely provided me during the course of the past three years.

While I can’t go back into the past and erase that email from ever being sent to her, I can do exactly as my program of recovery has taught me, which is to own where I was wrong. It’s not her fault that I’m in pain nor is it her responsibility to make it go away. But I know my words in that email said otherwise and for that I’m very sorry. The last thing I wanted to do was frustrate the one person who has so unconditionally remained by my side and given me her word that she would see me to the end of this long cycle of pain and healing.

This is specifically why I made it a point in my latest conversation with her to make an amends and ask for her forgiveness for temporarily acting out of my fear, for the frustration I caused her with that email, and for any of my other fear-based actions that have ever negatively affected her. I know I’d be truly lost without her ongoing guidance and direction and I also know I wouldn’t be as close to the end of this healing process as I am if it hadn’t been for all her excessive devotion to my healing processes so far.

When my amends process came to a close, I thanked her for all the time and energy she’s exuded since I began as her student and it was then I received confirmation that she forgave me. But even better, she promised to continue helping me reach that light that I know exists at the end of this long, dark tunnel I’ve been trudging through for what feels like an eternity.

The bottom line is that the amends process does work, especially when our Higher Power is in charge of making one. Mine definitely helped to not only find the right words to complete this process, but did so in such a way that my spiritual teacher knew it was from my heart and that I loved her dearly. So thank you Higher Power for getting me through this, as I’m truly grateful.

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson

 

I grew up reading the Bible. In fact, I had my own children’s version of it with pictures and all, which I opened up quite frequently as a kid. Later, as a young adult, I would attend a number of Bible studies where I became engrossed in all of its language and principles. I’d also expand the number of versions of it in my own library of books to more than just a few as time went on. But somewhere along the line, I stopped reading and studying it as much and instead began expanding my exploration of religion and spirituality. Looking back, especially with what’s going on in the world nowadays, I think that’s because I started seeing the Bible being used as a weapon of discrimination and judgment rather one of unconditional love and light.

Now, all around the world, including even right here in the United States, there’s a constant war raging on with the Bible at the center of it. Churches are throwing this book at one group of people after another citing passage after passage to justify their arguments and build their defense. Meanwhile on the other side of this war are all those classes of people being persecuted and feeling less and less of a desire to follow a God that supposedly doesn’t love them for who they are.

Because of all this, what I feel most these days in regards to this war going on is sadness for both sides. This isn’t the God I’ve come to know and believe in by any means. This isn’t what I learned to do through any of my years and years of studying and learning the good that’s within the Bible.

It seems like every week now I experience one persecution-based incident after another. Just the other day in fact I had a conversation with a Christian woman at a local business who looked at me and said “You know homosexuality is totally a sin and against God. It’s right there in the Bible.” What I found most ironic in her statement was how cold and unloving it was. Because she like so many other Christian people I’ve met continue to maintain the belief they are all welcoming as they try to lead others to the warmth and acceptance of Jesus Christ, yet they practice the exact opposite by saying things just like this.

A sad reality is that if I had a dollar for every time I’ve been on the receiving end of someone using the Bible’s words against me, I’d probably have enough money to go buy a brand new home. It just breaks my heart why so many people continue to believe this is exactly what the Bible teaches them to do.

The main thing I try to take away from the Bible today is what Christ believed in. And that is to love everyone unconditionally. My only goal in life these days is to become a beacon of light that guides others to the God of their understanding, regardless of whoever or whatever they’re makeup is. What it’s not is a quest to throw a book that was written thousands of years ago at someone and say they are doing wrong or are being sinful.

Everyone says the Bible is the exact word of God, yet none of us were there when it was written. None of us have seen the exact scrolls it came from. None of us truly understand the context of what was going on back in those days either. So how do we know it’s the EXACT word of God? When we watch the news, is what we are seeing on the news or reading in a paper the EXACT truth of what actually happened? Most likely not. I honestly believe the same holds true for the Bible.

I must say though that there really is a wonderful spiritual language present throughout the Bible with some truly beautiful principles to practice in life. But in the book I know, the one I studied, and the one I’m still living by today, none of those principles include discriminating, persecuting, or segregating anyone.

So hopefully one day the Bible won’t be used as the weapon of choice anymore for a religious war that will never have any real victor, and instead people will come to see it as just one way, along side plenty of others, to connect with the Source. Because it’s then and only then when people will see the Bible as a whole is about one thing and one thing only, and that’s unconditional love.

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson

Do you ever find yourself getting angry at other people’s actions, often labeling them as ignorant, stupid, or ridiculous? The interesting thing I’ve learned on my spiritual journey in life is whenever I’ve done that, my anger’s not been about any of those people, it’s been about something within myself that I wasn’t wanting to look at.

The most common example I can think of here is the words I’ve used in the past at drivers I’ve deemed as “bad”. I’m sure you know what I mean because it happens all the time to most of us. Take for example when someone races out in front of us, almost sideswipes us, cuts us off, or tails us too closely. I used to scream and swear at drivers like that from the safe confines of my own car’s cabin. But the funny thing is I was just as much of the same type of driver as they were, having done each of those actions and then some regularly. But it sure was easier yelling at them and looking at their reckless actions rather than my own.

You see that’s the problem with anger. It’s so easy to be that way when someone else is doing something our ego doesn’t like, because the focus is then on them, rather than us. I spent years of my life acting like this, getting angry again and again at plenty of things that others did, but rarely taking a long, hard look at my own actions.

In all honesty, I quite regularly thought of others as ignorant, stupid, or ridiculous because of the things they were doing, but the reality is I was really the one being each of those things. The common misconception I often fell into is that if everyone would just act more sensibly, that my life and this world would fare far better. That was an illusion though, because even when everyone did exactly as I thought they should, I just created a mirror image around me of my own flaws and character defects, which still left me feeling angry.

And the only person who truly suffers from being angry all the time at others is the actual person who’s angry. More than not, they find it easier to place their anger and blame on someone else, instead of figuring out within themselves why they’re always getting angry in the first place.

That’s why I really try hard nowadays to look within myself anytime I find myself getting angry with another. And whenever I start thinking that someone else is being ignorant, stupid, or ridiculous, I take it as an opportunity to look inside at my own flaws and character defects, because I know I still have them, and maybe always will to some extent.

But I know the more I look at my flaws and character defects and the more I work through them, the less I find myself getting angry at others and the more patient and compassionate I feel with everyone and everything. The bottom line is that I’d rather have those qualities, than be constantly walking around with a chip on my shoulder because of how everyone else is acting…

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson