Category: Words To Live By

Have you ever wondered why anyone would do a job where the only duty is to sit on the edge of a street, holding a sign, and doing some type of singing and dancing to get your attention? If you have, then you’ve been in the same boat as me, except I’ve come to a better place of understanding with it these days.

If you live near any type of city, small or large, then you’ve probably witnessed at least some version of them. Most notably present in any of those cities are the Liberty Mutual workers who come out in droves as the tax season begins. One usually seems them wearing a Lady Liberty costume in front of those tax-filing stores doing one rhythmic gesture after another to beckon you to stop in. For the longest time I judged those people and thought how inane they were. But recently, I have been working on removing all the judgments from my life so that I may be a stronger spiritual person and this led me to look at these sign holders in a more positive light.

The first thought I had was that maybe they can’t perform any other type of job because of their education, a criminal record, or some type of learning disability? I happened to be one of those who got a decent education and was able to graduate from college. I’m also someone who doesn’t have any type of criminal record and I don’t have a learning disability either. But there are plenty of people in this world who have any one of these things and many end up being unable to find work except for in jobs such as this.

A second thought I had was that maybe it’s a requirement of those employed at that business to start out in that sign holder position before they can do anything else? Or quite possibly, it could be a requirement for employees to take a turn holding that position throughout their shift? Either way, I’ve worked at many places of employment throughout the years where my job duty included something I didn’t like doing, but it was a requirement nonetheless.

The last thought I had surrounding those happy sign holding gyrators is the one that makes me smile the most though. Maybe the reason why they are in that type of a position is totally due to the fact that they really just like that job and are that happy in life? The truth is that I’m sure there are those out there who would wonder why I am doing this blog writing job each and every day. The idea of them sitting at a computer desk, day after day, writing spiritually-centered blog entries about their life for the world to see, and not getting paid a single cent for it, doesn’t seem too appealing. It does for me though and it makes me very happy. It’s actually one of the things I enjoy doing the most these days. That’s only because deep down inside it’s the one way I’m trying to make this world a more joyful and positive place to be in. And maybe that’s what all those singing and dancing sign holders are trying to do as well.

So the next time I see any one of them at a street corner smiling and bobbing up and down, I’m not going to judge them anymore. Maybe they’re there because of some limitation in their life. Or maybe they’re there because they’re required to be there. But if neither one of those are true, then maybe they’re there because they really just want to be there, doing a job that makes them truly happy, as my writing always does for me…

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson

I’m sure we’ve all done it.

Actually, it’s quite easy to do.

So what is it you may be wondering???

It’s the fact that many of us often take something that initially happens to us and blow it up way out of proportion, only to find out later it really wasn’t all that bad.

I had a good chuckle the other day with myself when I sat down with a friend over dinner. He had asked me a week prior to meet with him, as he had something to discuss with me. Right away his request had raised a little fear within me and on some level, it probably occupied active headspace the entire number of days that led up to our meal together. Most of my thoughts surrounding it were along the lines of what I had done wrong or was I going to be scolded. Much of that stems back to how things were with my mother and how I felt I was always walking on eggshells around her. Ironically, my friend only wanted to take a few minutes to clarify some feelings about a comment I had made to him in weeks prior. When the meal was over, I saw how I had wasted a lot of my energy giving into those irrational fears prior to he and I ever meeting.

A few weeks ago I had another one of these experiences where I blew something up way out of proportion once again. It actually dealt with this blog when I was notified by e-mail that the tool I use for it was going away on June 25th. My first reaction involved a day of temper tantrums that my partner witnessed and it wasn’t pretty. I allowed myself for almost 24 hours to go into an incredible amount of anxiety about the work that was going to be involved in finding a new blog tool and starting again. When I finally sat down and made a few phone calls to my current blog company, I saw how it really wasn’t going to be that bad. But the stress I put myself through prior to actually doing that was something I’ve done to myself throughout my life.

I used to be one of those people who said that I had chronic anxiety and it dealt with a chemical imbalance. The reality was that a large part of that anxiety was not a chemical imbalance at all. It truly was of my own creation. Every time something happened in my life that I didn’t know how much it was going to affect me, I’d worry about it incessantly until it was done and over with. Often I’d create a self-fulfilling prophecy making the worst-case scenario happen because of all that worry and the stress and damage it did to my system was incredible.

I’ve read that all anxiety and fear is based around one of two things. We are either afraid we’re never going to get something we think we need or we are afraid we’re going to lose something we already have that we think we can’t lose. In the case of the dinner meeting with my friend, I can see how the source of my anxiety was a deep-seated fear of being abandoned and losing him as a friend. In the case of my blog site, I can see how the source of that anxiety was based around my fear of losing all my work and the people who have been reading it on here. Last year when I was turned down for social security disability for the final time, I thought it was going to be the end of my world. I’m actually grateful today though that I never got it. That’s only because I find myself being more motivated in life to pursue new ventures since I don’t have a regular stipend coming in to keep me comfortable. Looking back at any other anxieties and fears from my past, I can see how every one of them fell into one of these two categories as well.

The only solution I’ve found so far to dealing with this, when I still blow up things out of proportion, is to pray for clarity and meditate through the irrational fears. I’m not always so good with it but I am definitely getting better. I’m able to see now how my self-will leads me into doing this and so I do my best to turn my fears and worries over to my Higher Power each and every day. In doing so, I’m not living with chronic anxiety these days nor do I rely upon any medication to achieve this. I have a lot more acceptance that any of these situations are opportunities for positive change and spiritual growth in my life.

So if you are someone who regularly is blowing things up out of proportion, I encourage you to start taking a lot more moments to breathe by spending time in prayer and mediation with your Higher Power. In doing so, you will strengthen that connection and most likely find your life becoming a lot less anxious over any of the things that happen to you. And in the long run, you too will probably see that none of them were really all that bad…

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson

The American justice system is all based around a person being innocent until proven guilty. Sadly, that’s not always the case though in many real life situations that occur outside of a courtroom. Recently I experienced this very thing with a men’s group when it’s members chose to suddenly remove me from it with no “trial”, explanation, or discussion. Unfortunately, their action left me struggling to find closure and fully let the situation go.

It’s probably best I initially give a short history on my involvement with this group. It began back in the fall of 2013, when I attended it one night while on travel to see my partner. My move to his home was still several months away, but I was attempting to establish a network of friends, groups, and things to be a part of before that day came. This men’s support group was one of those things I was trying to connect with and it was a part of an organization, the Mankind Project (MKP), that I’ve been a part of since 1999. I joined MKP all those years ago for one reason, to grow up and become a man who doesn’t hide in the darkness of his shadows. Over the years since then, I was part of several different MKP groups, all of which helped to shape me into someone that lives in honesty and integrity throughout my entire life. When I joined this group though, I had a few actions over the course of several meetings that led several of its members to feel unsafe with me. Even though I owned them and made my amends to the group, a decision was made without my input to remove me from its membership.

The night I was informed of their decision came on an evening that group was supposed to be taking place. As I was sitting there waiting for it to begin, one of the other members spoke up and indicated a new group was being created that wouldn’t be including me. When I tried to talk about this action, my request was denied and I was told it wasn’t up for discussion. Essentially my voice was silenced and I felt like I was given a guilty verdict without ever even having a chance to prove my innocence. When I left shortly thereafter, I began harboring a lot of anger and resentment towards the group and its members because of this and for the fact that MKP wasn’t built around this type of behavior. Since then I have been struggling to let the situation go because of my lack of closure with the group and its members. What I had really wanted was to state my case with them, except I never got the chance.

Trying to find closure with something when total control is taken away is an extremely difficult thing to overcome. While I’ve continued to send love, forgiveness, and peace to this group and all its members, I still find myself feeling a little unsettled with the whole matter. I decided I needed to write about this experience to help with that. While life initially may not seem to be fair when things like this happen, I’ve come to understand that it ends up always being for the better in the long run. Although I would have been willing to work through the ongoing difficulties I had with this group, I see now that if I had remained there, it might have worked against my spiritual growth with my Higher Power. That alone has helped me to come to acceptance and begin the process of finding closure.

Thankfully I’m also in the process now of building a new MKP group with several other men and so this action seems to be another one of those blessings in disguise. Nonetheless, anytime a person is given a guilty verdict without ever being able to prove their innocence, finding closure with it all can be an extremely difficult thing to do. But through acceptance and the sending of love, forgiveness, and peace, I know it can be done. It just takes time.

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson