Category: Words To Live By

Cell phones are everywhere, especially now that they are like mini-computers and can do quite a bit of just about everything. With the explosion of the Personal Digital Assistance (PDA) based phones over the past six years since the original Iphone came on the market, once common based courtesies that dealt with phone communication are now rapidly disappearing. Years ago when cell phones didn’t exist, there was an unwritten form of this type of etiquette which sadly will be extinct soon it seems.

As a kid, the only phone my family had were the ones in my kitchen and my parent’s bedroom. Connected to the one in the kitchen was an answering machine that had a small cassette tape in it which could record up to a minute or two of a message. Nine times out of ten when someone called anyone in my family back then, they left a recorded message, unless of course it was a marketing call. And usually within less than 24 hours, we always called the people back who left a message on that machine. As for outside the home back then, such as in the movie theater, the only talking going on was between people, and that was often hushed very quickly. At restaurants, conversations occurred between those dining or sometimes people just ate in silence with each other while they enjoyed their food. On public transportation, people sparked up discussions with random strangers all the time or shared a newspaper with someone around them. In waiting rooms at various doctor’s offices, hospitals, and other businesses, people either read magazines, sat quietly in silence, or chatted lightly with others around them. And as for driving a car, the only thing ever in anyone’s hands as they drove back then was possibly some food, a shaver, or makeup. Sadly, all of this is changing for the worse now with so many people having cell phones that can do so much.

The first thing I’ve noticed that is changing for the worse is that I get a lot of phone calls on my cell phone where people don’t leave me messages. I see a phone number that remains on my “missed call” log but no physical message is left behind. To most of the friends and acquaintances that I know these days who have cell phones, their idea of leaving a message is that “missed call” text that appears on my phone. Unfortunately, as most people know, cell phones are not perfect technology and there are times we get in random dead zones where phone calls may appear to be ringing on the caller’s end but they’re doing nothing but remaining silent on the receiving end. I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve missed important phone calls because of this.

The second thing I’ve noticed that is changing for the worse is the lack of getting returned phone calls from those I’ve left messages for. With cell phones being used all the time now, people see that I’ve called and left a message but they either don’t even listen to it and give themselves a mental reminder to call me back at some other point, or they attempt to send me a text message to let me know that they’ll call me later but never do so. With how busy people are becoming these days, and the amount of time people are using their cell phones, unless one saves the message as a reminder to call or calls back immediately, it’s rare they ever remember to call at all. And as for texting me, I don’t even have that active on my phone so unless one has an Iphone, where they can send me an “iMessage”, their words are sent out into dead air so I never even know that they were making an attempt to get back to me.

The third thing I’ve noticed that is changing for the worse deals with all those public places I mentioned earlier. At the movie theaters, people are using their cell phones to text or be on the internet during the films and each time they do, it acts as a bright flashlight that distracts all the viewers. At restaurants, I’ve seen couples eating their food with one hand and holding their cell phones with the other, all the while avoiding any real conversation with each other. On public transportation, no one really seems to be talking to each other anymore as everyone has their headphones plugged into their cell phones where they listen to music, play a game, or do something else with it. And as for those waiting rooms, many of those magazines have disappeared and the majority of people now spend their time waiting by talking on their phones very loudly to others or texting constantly with a repeated noise each time a new message comes in.

The fourth thing I’ve noticed that is changing for the worse with this explosion of cell phone usage is the worst of them all and it deals with the texting and driving at the same time. It is now estimated that close to 1.6 million accidents are occurring each year now because of this. And it’s also known that the driving behavior when one is doing this is even worse than when one is drinking and driving. More and more deaths are happening now each year because of this too.

While cell phones have made life much easier as compared to those days when the only way to make a call was at home, phone etiquette is rapidly growing worse and worse because of them. In some cases, it’s even jeopardizing and taking people’s lives from this Earth as well. It would be nice if people could go back to the time when phones weren’t so important but alas, I guess we all are having to grow with the technology. Regardless, I just hope one day soon that people will begin to place their cell phone usage second to having better phone etiquette like it once was many years ago…

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson

Since being born in 1972, I have been alive for the Presidency’s of Lyndon B. Johnson, Richard Nixon, Gerald Ford, Jimmy Carter, Ronald Reagan, George H.W. Bush, Bill Clinton, George W. Bush, and Barack Obama. While I may not remember much about the first few of those Presidents during the early years of my life, I do remember the majority of them since Carter. And if there’s one thing I’ve come to learn about all of them, it’s that no matter who the Head of State is at any given time, someone is always blaming them for the ills of the nation that happen during their term. But often, it’s not even the President’s fault.

Throughout my life, I have watched my grandparents, parents, my sister, both her first and second husbands, friends, partners, and other loved ones, complain time and time again about each President and how they feel the problems in our country are because of them. While some of the President’s decision making may not at times be in the best interest of the entire country at whole, it’s easy to place the blame on them for all our country’s troubles anyway. Many people look at the President as a god of some sort that is “way up there” and believe that each of them has some godly power to control and fix every single ill of society. But what most often forget about is that not only is the President just one person in a position of leadership within a large government structure, there is also a system of checks and balances for them with the Legislative and Judicial branches affecting much of what happens during their term. With the Senate, Congress, and the Supreme Court each having their own forms of control, it’s often that vetoes and decisions overrule the President’s attempts to make many of those positive changes people are seeking.

Many years ago I lived near Washington D.C. and got to see the first screening there of Michael Moore’s controversial movie entitled Fahrenheit 9/11. This was a documentary film about the events that happened during 9/11 and it showed evidence that proposed President Bush being a big cause to what happened on that tragic day. As I left the theater, there were news crews present that were interviewing people about their opinions on not only the movie but also on President Bush. One of them stopped me and ask if I felt the current President was the main problem for our country. My response was swift and to the point. I simply stated that too many of the citizens of our country are always quick to blame each and every President for every single problem. And I told them that the real work for changing our country to making it a happier, and healthier place, is done through each and every one of us. The news person was stunned and had no other questions to ask me after that.

Unfortunately, what people aren’t realizing is that if all of us could unite together with a lot more love and light, things would automatically change for the better without having to rely upon the President, or anyone else in political power for that matter. If we could just be more giving of ourselves selflessly to those less fortunate, things could move in the direction that we want the President to make them move. If we could practice greater peace making efforts with each other day to day, things could move in the direction that we want the President to make them move. If we could focus on unity rather than division, things could move in the direction that we want the President to make them move. And if we could work on integrating all walks of life together and embracing total equality, instead of using religious and other various platforms to segregate, things could move in the direction that we want the President to make them move. But instead, too many of us just sit back and point the fingers at the President, and do nothing more than continue to be selfish and self-centered in life which only makes our country a lot less loving of a place to be in.

The reality is that each of us have to do our part to making this country and this world a better place. The President is not the total cause of all the problems that revolve around our countries issues with drugs, poverty, the economy, job availability, gay marriage, health care, gun violence, and more. The finger pointing at others, especially the President really needs to end and instead be pointed directly back at oneself because that’s where the changes truly need to begin.

So the next time you might find yourself wanting to chastise the President to someone around you because of something bad happening in the country or the world, I encourage you to take a moment, breathe, and realize the President is not the person to blame. There are many others in political power affecting all of the unfortunate conditions in society who have just as much of a say. And if you are like me and not one of those in any position of political power, the changes you want to see the President make can still begin with you. Seek a Higher Guidance and begin practicing loving yourself and all others a lot more unconditionally and I’m sure you’ll not only start seeing the President in a very different light, you’ll probably stop blaming them for every problem too.

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson

It always saddens me when I see people leave poor tips in restaurants when they are dining out. I’ve come to learn over the years with eating out quite often in so many various establishments, that most waiters and waitresses depend upon the tips given to them to earn their living. In our country, most wait staff receive only a few dollars an hour for just showing up to do their jobs. The rest is up to how many customers show up and how much they get in their tips.

All too often in my dinners out and about with friends and acquaintances, I’ve silently observed how people will make an assumption that for anything which goes wrong during their meal, that it’s the waiter or waitress’s fault. So in all those cases where foods don’t come out the way they’re ordered, or when they are prepared poorly, or when they don’t taste that good, or when they takes a long time to get to the table, it’s usually reflected in the server’s tip by these same people. But ironically, I’ve found it’s often the kitchen that is making many of these mistakes. And sadly, the kitchen is not the one that suffers the consequences from that poor tip. It’s the waiter or waitress that does, even though it frequently wasn’t even their fault.

There are cases too when the wait staff in a restaurant is grossly shorthanded. That can occur when people don’t show up for work or for the times when crowds are surging more than what the wait staff is set up to handle. I’ve dined at restaurants where these conditions have occurred and it really is not a reflection upon the waiter or waitress in those situations when the dining experience is not done to a level that my ego might think it should be.

The bottom line here is that the first person people tend to blame in a restaurant for anything that goes wrong during their dining experience is the waiter or waitress, when in fact, that’s often not the case. It’s the ego that makes that assumption and because of it, the tip that’s left to them is usually lousy. And that’s completely unfair to these waiters or waitresses who may have done their absolute best to make the meal experience the best it could be.

I think about this all the time now when I dine out and do my best today to always tip at least 20 percent of the total bill regardless of how bad my meal experience was. Even if it really came down to the fact that the waiter or waitress was truly the problem, I always tell myself I don’t know what’s going on in those people’s lives. Maybe they’re new to being a food server. Maybe their boss at that restaurant is constantly yelling at them for no reason. Maybe they’ve just had a serious blow in their lives such as someone close to them dying, or their health is deteriorating, or someone just ended a relationship with them. Regardless of whatever the circumstance is, doesn’t each of them warrant my compassion? Don’t I want others to have that same compassion for me if there comes a time when I’m not performing up to my par?

The next time you find yourself dining out and are about to leave your tip, I encourage each of you to take a moment, breathe, and try to be more generous to your waiter or waitress with the tip you are about to leave them. Even if your meal didn’t meet your ego’s expectations, it’s often not the wait staff’s fault and in those cases where it truly might have been, you never know what’s really going on in your server’s life that may warrant your love and compassion instead of your stinginess. Please also try to remember that the tip you’re about to leave your server is the sole source of their income. Think what it may be like for you if your job didn’t give you your paycheck because they felt you didn’t quite live up to their expectations. Hopefully now, you’ll want to leave your server that 20 percent or even greater…

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson