Category: Words To Live By

I don’t like to be picked on, AT ALL. And I especially don’t like being picked on when it’s around a group of people. I’ve been picked on my whole life, for whatever the reason. Ever since I was a little kid, I always seemed to become the recipient of everyone’s jokes and pranks. Getting laughed at by a number of people all at once was a typical occurrence. And while everyone else always seemed to be laughing at me, I was constantly crying silently within, wishing to God they’d stop.

What I’ve learned over time is that anyone who tends to frequently make fun of someone else or has a laugh regularly at another’s expense is because deep down they’re totally insecure about some part of themselves and may not even be aware of it, that is until the tables get turned onto them. Because once they are, once they become the recipient of being made fun of, they usually get quite angry and irritated.

The fact is, I don’t think anyone really likes being made fun of, especially when it’s picking apart their flaws or imperfections. The simple reality of why anyone does this type of behavior is to take the focus off of themselves, to make sure no one ever sees their own flaws or imperfections. Because when everyone else is laughing at the person they’re picking on, no one is going to be laughing at their own shortcomings.

What I find the most frustrating though about getting picked on is when the person picking on me tells me I need to “lighten up” or “develop a thicker skin”. Because, you know what?

I DON’T NEED TO DO EITHER!

While I may be a sensitive person and while I may be an emotional person, I don’t need to ever change myself just to become a better recipient of getting picked on. No one should have to change any part of themselves just to become a better recipient of another’s jokes and pranks. Lightening up or developing a thicker skin is solely that person’s way of wanting to feel better about their toxic behavior. Because deep down, their Spirit knows it isn’t right and also knows it’s causing more pain than good. Yet, so long as they keep getting everyone else to laugh at who they’re picking on, they generally will keep doing the toxic behavior anyway. That is, until one day, when the tables fully get turned onto them, when one of their flaws or shortcomings become the constant recipient of another’s jokes and pranks, as it’s then they start truly feeling the terrible pain of that.

Picking upon another’s flaws and imperfections and having a good laugh at their expense is by far the worst type of humor out there in my humble opinion. But you know what I find to be the best type of humor? When people learn to make fun of themselves, when they take their own flaws and imperfections and make light of them. That’s pretty awesome whenever I see people doing that. On NBC’s America’s Got Talent, I’ve seen both a person with a severe stuttering issue, and another with Tourette’s Syndrome, both take the stage and make the most incredible comedic routine about their limiting conditions. When a person makes fun of themselves and is the one driving the humor, it always feels a lot brighter, a lot lighter, and ok to laugh at. But when a person has some type of limiting condition, like in my case, with severe hypochondria and OCD, for another to make fun of that, never feels good to me one bit. Because that type of humor isn’t coming from an unconditionally loving or spiritual type of place.

Truth be told, the quickest way for me these days to start distancing myself from someone is when they’re regularly picking on me and having a good laugh at my expense. I’ve developed a thick enough of skin now to at least say I don’t need someone like that in my life. And just because someone tells me they only pick on those they like doesn’t change the fact it still hurts when it happens.

The bottom line is that I don’t want to be a doormat for someone else’s humor anymore. It never feels good and I know that many others who’ve walked in my shoes, who once were a “nerd”, “dork”, “geek” or “freak” or labeled something else demeaning like that in their childhood like I was, would totally understand what I’m saying and agree.

So, the next time you think that picking on me, or anyone for that matter, is a good thing to do, if you truly care about me, or the person you are doing it to, you might want to stop and make fun of yourself instead. Because having a good laugh at my or another’s expense, laughing at one of our flaws or imperfections, things we already struggle with enough in life, is not a spiritual quality, nor is a quality I ever wish to have in someone I call a friend.

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

When I wrote an article just over a week ago now, about my apolitical stance when it comes to voting, I received some pretty harsh comments on Facebook about it. One person suggested my stance on voting probably came from a life of privilege, while another flat out said they had zero respect for me on the subject, and yet still another agreed with them both. Sadly, it seemed as if my true intention of that article got overlooked and was replaced with judgments and character assassination. Regrettably, none of them really knew the truest story behind why I am the way I am when it comes to politics, because I didn’t write about it. But I decided to today.

I grew up in a family that was filled with a normalcy of chaos, confusion, alcoholism, regular attempts at suicide, and wondering what bomb might drop next within it. I walked on eggshells more than not. Whether Ronald Reagan or George Bush was President back then, never changed any of the craziness in my household one bit. My parents remained imbalanced, unhealthy, addicted-ladled individuals, regardless of who was in what political position. Politics just wasn’t something taught or learned in my household, it just wasn’t something we ever talked about. But screaming, rage, throwing things, silence, and guilt trips were. All the years of my youth were spent in fear of my parents and what might happen next in my household. So, who was President or Vice President or Governor or Senator or Congressman didn’t matter, because I lived in fear of what was right in my own home. And none of those political people were ever going to change any of that hell of existence.

When I became of legal voting age, I had already succumbed to alcohol and drug addiction to calm the terrible voices from my youth and to ease the pain of how I was raised, which not only included the craziness from within my childhood home, but also outside of it from having been molested by a coach on one of the teams I had been on, and of having constantly been bullied my entire youth. There was no politics or leadership out there in the world that would have changed a single thing in all the PTSD I was living with. When I finally sobered from alcohol and drugs, those demons continued to live on and on and on, no matter what I did to try to stifle them. I went from counselor to counselor and tried medication after medication to suppress those terrible voices. Politics didn’t matter to me, because I was still in survival mode, even as an adult, trying to free myself from all my inner turmoil, which by then included a father’s suicide and a mother’s tragic drunken fall down the stairs. So, who was going to be in political office became unimportant because my energy was fully invested in trying to free myself from all the mental and emotional pain I constantly lived with. I had to fight hard just to keep going, to not take my life, and to not give up on myself. At the core, I spent every bit of my energy just trying to free myself from those terrible voices from my past, voices that weren’t ever going to be removed by any President or any political leader.

Frankly, living in the hell I’ve lived in, with the lack of appropriate upbringing, with all the PTSD I’ve experienced, and now with all the physical pain I’ve continued to endure, I’m a walking miracle for even still being alive. So, choosing not to invest any of my energy in this long-standing Democrat versus Republican battle or in this never-ending fight for this right or that right isn’t because I’m ignorant or don’t care. It’s because I’ve been spending my entire life just trying to simply survive in a world that’s constantly been tossed upside down from things outside of my control, things that Donald Trump nor Joe Biden nor any President nor any political person will ever be able to change.

The only person that can change any of those things is me. That’s why I continue to choose to focus my energy on that, so I don’t kill myself from all the PTSD I’ve had to fight through in my life just to keep going. And it’s also why I continue to choose to focus whatever energy remains in helping those people in this world who too have been traumatized like I have, whose lives aren’t going to get any better just because of whomever is in some political office. People like those dying of addiction. People like those who’ve been severely abused. People like those who’ve come from broken homes. People who’ve never known what it feels like to be truly loved unconditionally. It is people like us whose lives NEVER change no matter who gets in any seat of political power.

So, maybe now, my critics of my apolitical stance in life may understand a little better why I truly am this way at my core. But if you still don’t, and you still find yourself judging me right now, know I love you unconditionally anyway and don’t judge you for feeling the way you do about me. Just know that when we all stop judging each other for our individual stances in life and start unconditionally loving each other a lot more, maybe we won’t care so much about who becomes our next President, because our next President will simply be a reflection of the unconditional love we already have for each other…

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

I rarely discuss political stuff with anyone, especially in this blog, because frankly, there currently are too many people taking sides and angrily chastising those who don’t agree with their political viewpoints. And to be perfectly honest, this highly charged political landscape has rapidly been leading me to not want to vote at all in the upcoming Presidential election, especially because I’m not even convinced the results aren’t going to be tampered with. Then suddenly one day recently, I received an application in the mail for an absentee ballot that I hadn’t even requested, from some non-profit voting organization in Columbus, Ohio, and it motivated me enough to at least to talk about it here in my writing.

When I first received this application for an absentee ballot, I truly thought it was some sort of fraudulent thing just to get my personal information. Having been a victim of multiple types of fraud prior, including my SSN getting stolen and illegal tax forms being filed with it from some unknown culprit, I was about to throw the voting application away until I looked up the address on the return envelope and realized it actually was legit. I then pondered for several days after that whether I should fill it out or not.

I’m quite sure a number of my friends, as well as a number of those I only know through Facebook, would say it’s totally absurd I would even consider not voting in our upcoming Presidential election, specifically given the current state of our country. But, when you discover, like I did in the last election, that a friend’s daughter, who wasn’t of legal voting age, had still been on their district’s voter registration sheets and had already cast their vote, I questioned how legitimate our voting process really was and how much was a sham. More importantly though, it’s bothered me ever since I had first become of legal voting age that my vote actually doesn’t even go directly towards what ultimately counts, and really is only factored into some electoral college process that I still to this day don’t even understand. So, really, my deeper truth is that I’ve been apolitical for a very long time and have rarely voted over the years because of it. That feeling has only grown stronger over the past two decades, as I’ve continued to watch more and more dissolution in our country come from citizens bashing each other for being Republican or Democrat and having differing opinions from each other.

The fact is, I have many friends who are presently backing Trump and I have many friends who are presently backing Biden. I also have many friends who will flip off and negatively comment on any Biden signs they see along the road and I have many friends who will flip off and negatively comment on any Trump signs they see along the road. Frankly, I find the whole thing pretty silly and don’t care either way, as I love both sets of friends and refuse to take sides. My deepest truth is that I’m simply sick and tired of everyone bashing each other in this highly charged political landscape. I’m sick and tired of people trying to prove to me how insanely idiotic they feel Trump is, just as much as I’m sick and tired of people trying to prove to me how old and clueless they feel Biden is.

Here’s my reality. It doesn’t matter to me who’s going to be the next President of the United States because I still am going to be myself no matter who gets elected. I still am going to treat others exactly as I was prior to this election. I’m not going to become any different inside myself just because of who ends up being the one to lead our country over the next four years.

So, what I’m really trying to say is this. If you happen to be someone who’s a judgmental, negative, or angry type of person now when it comes to our present political landscape, you’ll continue to remain that way once the election is over, no matter who wins. Why? Because your judgments, negativity, and anger aren’t because of something outside of you, it’s because of something going on within you. You merely are buying into the illusion that your life will feel better inside because something outside ends up changing or remaining the same, such as in this upcoming Presidential election.

In the end, I’m still going to be the same Andrew Arthur Dawson I was before the election, once it’s over. In the end, my inner world isn’t going to change one bit just because Trump or Biden wins or loses. My outer world will ONLY ever change when my inner world changes. That’s why I do my best EVERY, SINGLE, DAY, to work on loving and accepting everyone unconditionally, whether they are Republican or Democrat, whether they have political viewpoints that align with my own or don’t, whether they will vote or not, or whether anything really.

So, while I did send in that application for an absentee ballot, whether I end up voting or not in our upcoming Presidential election isn’t what really matters. What matters is me learning to love and accept everyone for all their own individual uniqueness’s, which includes Donald Trump, Mike Pence, Joe Biden, and Kamala Harris. Because deep down, I believe we’re all children of something far Greater, we’re all connected somehow, and I feel it’s my job to love everyone equally and unconditionally…no matter what.

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson