Category: Words To Live By

A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their old university professor. Conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life. Offering his guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups – porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some plain looking, some expensive, and some quite exquisite – telling them to help themselves to the coffee. When all the students had a cup of coffee in hand, the professor said: “If you noticed, all the nice looking expensive cups have been taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress. Be assured that the cup itself adds no quality to the coffee. In most cases it is just more expensive and in some cases even hides what we drink. What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the best cups… And then you began eyeing each other’s cups. Now consider this: Life is the coffee; the jobs, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain Life, and the type of cup we have does not define, nor change the quality of life we live. Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee. Savor the coffee, not the cups! The happiest people don’t have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything. Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly.

While not much probably needs to be said about the truth of this parable, it is one I’m sure many of us have dealt with at some point in our lives. When I was once earning close to $100k a year, I was constantly looking for the next best thing to acquire, whether that was a person, place, or thing. In doing so, I missed out on some the best moments that life can offer from seeing plenty of beauty in nature, to spending time with close friends, to volunteering my time to help others in need, to laughing at the silliest of things, and so on and so forth. That’s why I’m kind of glad I don’t have that type of income anymore because it’s truly helped me to experience and appreciate a lot more of those little things in life that often tend to bring us a far greater amount of peace and joy…

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Ever since the Harvey Weinstein sexual allegations surfaced a few months ago, there has been a tidal wave of sexual accusations being made towards other people, almost one after another, that so far there seems to be no end to. While I’m all for the truth coming out, especially with those who may have ever sexually taken advantage of someone else, I do see two downsides to all of what’s going on.

The first downside is the potential for one of those “witch hunts” to occur. What I mean by that is accusing someone of things that they are actually innocent of and in the process tarnishing their name and career. And unfortunately, people tend to live in low vibrational behaviors sometimes, which translates into them having a grudge towards another and deciding to accuse them of something that may or may not hold any truth, solely with the purpose of inflicting a wound upon them. I’ve had this very thing happen to me many times in life and regrettably, I also have done it to others in my past. So, it wouldn’t surprise me if some of these sexual allegations going on within the entertainment industry or the political realm or the corporate world right now aren’t ultimately grounded in solid truth.

The second downside is the impact this seems to be having on everyday people. Take my one friend in ministry who confided in me recently that they are afraid to even put their hand on a parishioner’s leg or shoulder anymore when it appears they are needing some comfort, because they don’t want to ever be accused wrongly of anything. Yet, prior to all these allegations becoming major news, this never was a concern for them because their intentions were always pure. Then there’s others I know who are in similar positions where offering hugs is just a part of their good nature and connection with God, yet they are concerned now too for them being taken out of context. And lastly, there’s me who’s now questioning my work with sponsees because of all these sexual allegations. Quite often in my recovery work, especially in the sex and love addiction realm, conversations arise surrounding topics that I’d never have with the general masses. While each of those conversations are merely for the purposes of helping me to understand those I sponsor, I’m starting to second guess myself and question whether I shouldn’t even have them anymore either, even though they’ve helped the sponsor/sponsee relationship grow in trust.

In light of all this, I fear that the end result of all these sexual charges going on is leading to a world where people will withdraw even more from showing any type of care or concern or affection towards each other. Will offering hugs or gentle reassuring touches to those in pain go away for fear of being accused of something? Will having conversations around any type of sex or sexuality stop altogether for fear of them being taken out of context? Will people simply start becoming cold towards each other? I say this lightly, and almost humorously, but I wonder if Jesus was alive today doing the things He once did, hugging, loving, touching, and closely caring for so many people, would all that too be misconstrued or might someone even use His signs of love as a way of getting back at Him by accusing him wrongly?

So, in the end, I’ve been left wondering, where are all these sexual allegations leading? What will be the final result of this? I don’t know, but it is my hope that we’ll all come to a place of balance and truth, one where we aren’t cold and callous towards each, and instead are still showing each other signs of unconditional love and light without fear and worry…

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Can you imagine having to relive the worst period of your life for eternity? That was the premise of an hour scripted science fiction/fantasy type of series I watched the other day where a person was sent to Hell and forced to experience that very thing over and over again. For me, the single darkest period of my life I’d hope to never relive again was when I received a phone call from my sister back in October of 1996 letting me know that my father had committed suicide.

If you’ve never had to go through something like this with someone close to you, then you probably can’t understand the total shock it does to your system. When I learned a friend’s brother committed suicide recently and witnessed the paralysis it left them in, I could so relate, as I can still vividly recall how I felt after talking to my sister on that dark day over two decades ago now.

Grief from a suicide affects everyone in incredible ways, so much more so than when a loved one passes away for other reasons that aren’t by their own hands. When my father took his own life, I became numb for almost three years of my life and lived in addictive behaviors to deal with it. My sister, on the other hand, kept blaming herself that she could have done more to save him and took even longer to get over that feeling.

There are also those who immediately go into huge fits of anger and rage for extended periods, while others spiral down into deep depressions for extremely long periods of time after learning of a loved one’s suicide. On some level, I experienced both of those as well after my father’s death, which is why I shudder at the thought of ever having to go through another suicide again in this life with someone close to me.

While I’ve often flirted with the thought of taking my own life on many of those high pain-filled days I keep going through, I’m constantly brought back to the memory of how deeply my father’s suicide affected both my sister and I. That is something I never wish to inflict upon anyone and truly, it’s probably the most selfish act one can ever do in life.

Now we are entering that time of the year again, the Holidays, where suicides become far more prevalent. That’s because so many people experience such devastating loneliness during the Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years’ time frame. If by some chance you are someone who has been considering doing this, please know there is help out there. And if you are someone who’s recently experienced this with a loved one, know you can and will heal from this in time. And even though neither of you may believe it in this moment with all the dejection you are experiencing, there are people out there who do love you and I’m one of them, even though I may not even know you in person.

I love you because I am you and have been exactly where you are in this very moment. And just to show you how much I mean that, I ask you that you click my contact form to reach out to me and I promise you in doing so that I will immediately respond, even by phone if you leave me a number. Because I do care, and so does God. But more importantly, please remember you really are loved, even if your brain keeps trying to tell you otherwise…

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson