Silly Joke Friday

Silly Joke #1 (2 Short Ones…)

An elderly woman died last month. Having never married, she requested no male pallbearers. In her handwritten instructions for her memorial service, she wrote, “They wouldn’t take me out while I was alive, I don’t want them to take me out when I’m dead.”

A lumberjack once told me he had cut down 27,572 trees.
“How do you know exactly how many?” I had replied.
“Easy, I keep a log…” he said.

Silly Joke #2

A young man just proposed to his sweetheart. The girl replied, “If I marry you, will you promise to give up smoking?” “Yes, I will…” came the reply.
“And drinking?” she said. “I will give up drinking as well…” he said. “And going to the club with your cronies?” she asked. “Yes, I will give that up too…” he said.  “And what else will you give up for my sake?” she asked happily. “Well actually, the more I think about it, I think I’m going to give up the idea of ever marrying you…”

Silly Joke #3

Little Johnny, the boy who always says and does the most inappropriate of things, badly wanted $100.00 and prayed for two weeks but nothing happened. So he decided to write God a letter requesting the $100. When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to God, USA, they decided to send it to the White House. Eventually, Little Johnny’s letter actually makes it to the desk of the President. The President was so impressed, touched, and amused that he instructed his secretary to send Little Johnny a $5.00 bill. He thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy. When Little Johnny received it, while he was delighted with the $5.00, he sat down to write a letter to God that read, “Dear God, thank you very much for sending the money, however, I noticed that for some reason it came through Washington D.C. and it looks like those jerks deducted $95.00!”

Bonus Silly Joke

An elderly man and woman meet in a bar and get to talking. They are enjoying their conversation so much that, when the bar closes, they decide to continue at the woman’s apartment. After a time, things start getting pretty romantic and they wind up in bed. Afterward, they’re both laying there, staring at the ceiling. The old man was thinking… “Gosh, if I had known she was a virgin, I would have been more careful with her.” The old lady was thinking… “Geez, if I had known he could get it up, I would have taken off my panties.”

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Thought For The Day

Today’s quotes surround the importance of self-love, which is one thing that many of us forget about and instead get lost in trying to find it in others…

“How you love yourself is how you teach others to love you.” (Rupi Kaur)

“Fall in love with yourself, with life, and then with whoever you want.” (Frida Kahlo)

“Perhaps the biggest mistake I made in the past was that I believed love was about finding the right person. In reality, love is becoming the right person. Don’t look for the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. Become the person you want to spend the rest of your life with.” (Neil Strauss)

“Love yourself so much that when someone treats you wrong, you recognize it.” (Rrena Rose)

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

I’m Dancing With Myself…

Ok, so I’m about to be deadly honest about a strange part of myself with something that I’m doing lately, that you may find yourself wondering, why the heck is he telling me this. There is a reason, but first let me state what that weird truth is.

Late at night now, typically after midnight, I have been listening to a form of music called “Micro House” or “Minimalistic House” where I dance erotically to in front of a large mirror in my living room. I learned long ago how to move my body quite well to this type of music where it often looks like I’m being sensual and making love to myself as I do.

Now, as to the why I’m telling you this. Over the past few months, I have felt completely unloved and unattractive, mostly because of the demise of a 10-year relationship with someone who doesn’t look at me anymore like he once did and hasn’t for a long time. What I have always found so special in every committed relationship I’ve been in is how that “in love” feeling gets shared between two souls and often becomes the very thing to turn any bad day into a good one instantly. I haven’t seen that from the man I’ve spent well over a decade with and it’s caused me to struggle immensely with loving myself. And all of this has led to my heart feeling completely broken on almost every single day, where that little boy within me, that inner child, feels just as broken because of it. So, I am doing things regularly now to repair my broken heart and cultivating a greater love for myself in the absence of it not being freely given to me anymore where one of those is essentially making love to myself in front of the mirror using my own unique form of dance expression.

I’m a good dancer and always was back in the day, even winning a few contests here and there somewhere along the way. The dance form I loved to do the most back then was to stand up on those high boxes and platforms in clubs and raves late into those weekend nights and well into the wee hours of the morning, where I’d listen to a type of house music that immediately moved me into a state of mind and body that always felt so incredibly blissful and was never brought on by any alcohol or drugs. It was always something that truly helped me to love myself a little more in a life where I was typically feeling unloved. That’s why I’m choosing now to return to that state, as I re-learn how to find my own unique expression of love all over again in this world by going back to an art I mastered long ago, one that absolutely cultivated greater self-love.

While I may be 50, you wouldn’t know that or even feel that if you somehow could be invisible and watch me do this unique form of self-love late at night. I am a very sensual person, always was and always will be, and while much of that came from having many lovers throughout much of my adult life, I’m now transmuting that energy into a much healthier expression, one that I can give to myself. And how I know this is actually helping me is precisely in how I feel after doing it, because each time I have, not only has it really increased my endorphins, but it’s also led to me smiling far more and my mood elevating incredibly as well.

I’m thankful I can move my body in this way still and find myself actually looking forward to going to a club again someday soon as my overall health continues to improve. Because no matter what my age, I know the spirit within me is pretty damn amazing and has his own unique form of self-love to express, including one he’s currently doing late into the wee hours of the night, as he dances erotically to himself, and in turn, shines a lot brighter within.

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson