The Twelfth Step

The weather has definitely shifted here in Toledo with temperatures dropping close to 0 degrees over the past week along with several days of snow accumulation. And while I find some peace and serenity with the beauty that comes in this change of weather, my heart still feels heavy.

It feels heavy for all those like this young man I saw standing outside the entrance to a Home Depot the other day in frigid temperatures, obviously homeless, bundled with several layers, hoping for some kind of financial help. On his back was a sleeping bag and a few possessions.

It feels heavy for all those like this woman I saw a movie theater recently who had barely any motor function control in her body and seemed very sad, all while taking my ticket stub and having to use a cutting board to slice it in half.

It feels heavy for all those like this good friend of mine who recently relapsed heavily back into their alcohol and drug addiction and was kicked out of their home in the process.

It feels heavy for all those who lost their jobs recently and are wondering how they’re going to provide gifts to their family or even make ends meet.

If feels heavy for all those in hospitals that are sick and ailing, and maybe won’t make it through this season or be with any loved ones for the holidays.

It feels heavy for all those who won’t be able to make it outside to enjoy any bit of the magic that comes from seeing or feeling the snowfall on the face and body.

It feels heavy for all those who have no one to be with, are completely alone, and wish they had a companion or a family to enjoy this season with.

It feels heavy for a lot of other things too.

Which is why I’m truly starting to realize there’s a lot more people right now in life going through far worse than any of my own current struggles and woes.

Unfortunately, it’s so easy to get caught up in self-pity at times, even when it’s obvious there is much greater suffering going on all around me. The reality is that I just have to take a quick look around and keep my eyes open every day to see there’s a lot of other pain and anguish going on in this world far worse than mine.

So, thank you God for helping me feel this heavy heart even during this change of weather that usually brings me some peace and serenity. Because it’s through all those things that’s caused me to have this heavy heart that’s helped me to see the abundance I still have in life. I’m truly sorry for all of those selfish moments where I’ve failed to see that. May You forgive me for that and may You bless all those who are going through pain and struggles far worse than I.

I’m truly grateful to you God for my heavy heart…

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson