Sometimes I find it truly amazing on how my Higher Power will guide me in the least suspecting way to affect the most incredible change in someone else.
A few nights ago I was supposed to go speak about my recovery from alcoholism and drug addiction at a local prison. When I didn’t receive final confirmation from a friend who was coordinating it, I ended up having the evening free. Something inside me though kept telling me I still needed to get to an Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) meeting that night. As I opened an online webpage that listed all the local meetings by day to figure out which one I should attend, there must have been close to 200 to choose from. After some careful consideration, I chose a beginner’s meeting that was several towns away and also one I had never been to before. A few hours later, life got kind of interesting for me.
It’s important to note for the purpose of telling this story that the location of this meeting was on a very large property for a monastery. As I drove around that property for a while, the only clue I had to where this meeting was being held was the word “Lodge”. When I finally discovered it, I saw that a dark van had followed me the entire time I was looking for it. It was then that I noticed this lodge was dark and its parking lot was empty. I got out of my car feeling slightly frustrated and approached the van guessing its driver was there for the same reason. When it’s window opened, the driver quickly confirmed that suspicion. But it was who he looked like, how long he had been sober, and his actual name that made me believe I was meant to be there in that moment, and that all of it was a spiritual test for me.
I’m convinced that God allows us to be tested from time to time for the sole purpose of seeing whether we’ve learned various spiritual lessons in life. In fact, I’m just as convinced that life is all about learning a series of them by going through one situation after another until we do. So as I stood there talking to this van’s driver, I noticed how much he resembled the last person I had become toxically obsessed with and attached to several years ago in AA when my sexual addiction had the best of me. Even more ironic was when he told me he only had about a week of sobriety. But most ironic was when he told me his name, as it was the same name as that last person I had sexually chased after and almost ended my life over.
When I realized all of this, half of me wanted to run away and the other half wanted to prove to myself how much I had spiritually grown over the past few years. Thankfully, I chose the latter and managed to eventually gain access into the building where two others joined us who were also looking for that same meeting. We found out that the beginner’s meeting was no longer being held on the property, but that the regular meeting still was. Except that meeting wasn’t scheduled to begin for another hour and half. So we all decided to hold our own beginner’s meeting by sharing our experience, strength, and hope with each other. When it came time for me to share, I did as I always do these days, I talked about my spiritually and how I’ve gone from completely hating to completely loving God through my recovery from addiction.
By the end of that evening when it came time for me to leave, that van’s driver told me how much he learned from me that night. He said I had a way of talking about God that helped him see things so much more clearly than ever before. I told him to give God that credit for changing my life so greatly because it was solely God who guided me there. When I drove away that night, I knew I had passed some type of spiritual test because I could feel a sense of peace within. Three years ago, I couldn’t say the same. Back then, I was pursuing newcomers like a predator because of an untreated sexual addiction instead of helping lead them into a life of sobriety and God.
Through God all things really are possible and I guess everything does happen for a reason. I know both of those statements sound so cliché, but God truly worked in mysterious ways the other night, not only in my life, but also that man’s. God showed me how much freer I am from addiction than I ever thought I could be. But even more importantly, by moving away from a life once filled with so much self-will, God showed me how I can truly help a newcomer find their own path to recovery.
Thank you God for continuing to light my way…
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson