Month: October 2014

“I Wish I Could…”

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Cows!

Cows who?

Cows go “moo!” not “who” silly, get it right! J

Ok, if you haven’t figured it out already, it’s me Andy writing this today. Yeah! Hopefully all of you reading this don’t mind me writing on here once a week because I really like doing it. But if you don’t, then I’m rubber and you’re glue, and whatever you think of my writing just bounces off of me and will stick to you! LOL!

Anyways, today I decided to write a little something on the topic of wishing. You see I love wishing and most kids like me usually do as well. Somewhere along the line though all you adults out there seem to forget doing kids things like this. Heck, Andrew did for the longest time, but I’m happy to say he’s getting a lot better these days, even though he’s still a fartwad sometimes. J Well before I get in trouble let me share with you what I wanted to today and that’s titled “I Wish I Could…”

I wish I could make people tell me the exact truth when I ask them any question, no matter what that question ever is.

I wish I could make everyone be nice to each other all the time, especially when they’re driving as all that road rage kind of scares me.

I wish I could be some type of a sea creature that could swim to the deepest parts of the ocean floor just to see what is down there.

I wish I could permanently eliminate meatloaf from every lunch and dinner menu on the planet because you all know already what I really think about it. (Yes, even yours Caryn… LOL J)

I wish I could make everyone spend at least an hour a day having fun with their inner child, as it’s truly an important key for everyone’s happiness.

I wish I could create a universal translator that would help me communicate with anyone in this world because not knowing someone’s language can be such a barrier sometimes.

I wish I could make every public bathroom be a private stall because I find it really creepy when someone has to pee next to me.

I wish I could have a magical object that could allow me to pass through any television or movie screen and suddenly be transported into whatever I was watching.

I wish I could play a few more games of Gin Rummy with my mother because that’s when I always felt the closest to her.

I wish I could take one more hike with my father up a really large mountain and have a picnic lunch with him at the top because that’s when I always felt the closest to him.

And…

I wish I could convince Andrew Arthur Dawson to go a lot easier on himself and not take things so seriously because I think he’d feel a lot better if he did.

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson

The Little Boy And The Rattlesnake

Have you ever gone against a gut feeling and done something anyway, and then got really hurt in the process? If you don’t know what I mean by this, then hopefully the following Native American story that a friend of mine shared with me the other day can help. It’s called The Little Boy And The Rattlesnake.

“The little boy was walking down a path and he came across a rattlesnake. The rattlesnake was getting old. He asked, “Please little boy, can you take me to the top of the mountain? I hope to see the sunset one last time before I die.” The little boy answered “No Mr. Rattlesnake. If I pick you up, you’ll bite me and I’ll die.” The rattlesnake said, “No, I promise. I won’t bite you. Just please take me up to the mountain.” The little boy thought about it and finally picked up that rattlesnake and took it close to his chest and carried it up to the top of the mountain. They sat there and watched the sunset together. It was so beautiful. Then after sunset the rattlesnake turned to the little boy and asked, “Can I go home now? I am tired, and I am old.” The little boy picked up the rattlesnake and again took it to his chest and held it tightly and safely. He came all the way down the mountain holding the snake carefully and took it to his home to give him some food and a place to sleep. The next day the rattlesnake turned to the boy and asked, “Please little boy, will you take me back to my home now? It is time for me to leave this world, and I would like to be at my home now.” The little boy felt he had been safe all this time and the snake had kept his word, so he would take it home as asked. He carefully picked up the snake, took it close to his chest, and carried him back to the woods, to his home to die. Just before he laid the rattlesnake down, the rattlesnake turned and bit him in the chest. The little boy cried out and threw the snake upon the ground. “Mr. Snake, why did you do that? Now I will surely die!” The rattlesnake looked up at him and grinned, “You knew what I was when you picked me up.”

There are so many moments in my life that I can 100% relate to what this little boy went through. In fact, I went through it just recently with a person I befriended in my recovery circles over a year ago. Initially, my gut had told me to keep my distance from them back when we had first met, but I didn’t. At first, everything seemed great in this connection for a while, but eventually that person did end up “biting” me, which came in the form of some very hurtful words. It wasn’t really a deadly “bite” so my wounds were able to heal pretty quickly, especially after their apologies were made. But sadly, I drew that person back in close to my chest ignoring in the process that gut feeling that said to stay away. All that resulted in was receiving many more of those “bites” over time. I’m grateful that none of them were ever deadly, but ultimately when I got poisoned enough from each of those “bites”, I was able to throw this “rattlesnake” down permanently.

I truly wish I could say that this recent example was only an isolated incident in my life, but I can’t. There are so many other “rattlesnakes” I’ve allowed to get close to me as well, where my gut had told me the very same thing which was was to keep my distance. But I never did and I always ended up getting bitten by each of them somewhere along the way. Sometimes that was through being taken to the cleaners with money I had loaned them. Sometimes that was through being used for free meals, coffees, or even vacations I had given them. And sometimes that was even through me being taken advantage of sexually by them. Regardless of however the “bites” ever manifested, these “rattlesnakes” were only able to do that in the first place because I had gone against a gut feeling, picked them up, and brought them close to my chest anyway.

So you would think that with as many “bites” as I’ve had over the years from all these “rattlesnakes” that I would have learned by now to fully listen to those gut feelings and not pick them up even once. I guess it just goes to show that I still have some more work to do in this area. But maybe now that I actually understand this story of The Little Boy And The Rattlesnake, I’ll listen to my gut next time and won’t get bitten ever again.

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson