If you have ever suffered from spiritual, mental, emotional, or physical pain, how have you handled it? Did you try to numb it with something until it went away? Or did you totally feel, deal, and then find yourself completely heal from it?
I heard this expression long ago about the feel, deal, and heal path of life in that it’s next to impossible for any of us to ever heal from anything unless we feel and deal with it first. It took me a good while to figure this out, but over time I did and now it’s become my way of living.
I honestly think it’s quite common for most of us in this world to want to numb ourselves when anything painful happens. Life has many of those moments such as ones that deal with death and dying, poor health issues, friendships ending, job losses, divorces and break-ups, financial hardships, and well I’m sure you get the point. But how does each of us go through any one of these things when they happen to us? Movies and television shows constantly tell us that alcohol and drugs are the primary source of comfort we should seek when any of them manifest, except that’s an illusion as they’re only numbing a person from beginning that path to healing. There are plenty of others ways we can numb ourselves in this world as well if any one of these burdens in life should arise. Overeating, smoking, binge shopping, becoming highly medicated, and gambling are just some of the many ways we may try to do that. Unfortunately, none of these things do anything more than stave off the healing process. In other words, they suppress our pain for a time, and in my case, for years.
Take for example when I went off to college. I knew then on some level that I was attracted to the same sex as me and that was an extremely painful time in my life. I didn’t want to be that way, as it wasn’t the norm I saw around me so I chose alcohol and drugs as my outlet to numb myself from feeling any of it. Four years later I was no closer to dealing with that pain and instead alcohol and drugs were ruling my life. It took me getting fully clean and sober from them both to begin the path of dealing with my sexuality. And eventually, once I dealt with it enough through therapy, recovery, and the like I came to acceptance and was healed from the pain it originally caused me.
The same thing held true with my father’s suicide. Although I was clean and sober from alcohol and drugs when he passed, I utilized other numbing agents such as money, sex, and doctor’s prescriptions to bring me comfort. It took me three years to actually stop doing each of these things and start feeling the pain of his death in entirety instead. Once I did, I went to various support groups, joined a men’s spiritual organization, and used a therapist to deal with that pain. And eventually, once I dealt with it enough like I did with my sexuality, I came to acceptance and was healed from the pain of my father’s death that I had tried to avoid for all that time.
I have learned in my life through repeatedly trying to numb myself from any of life’s difficulties such as with my sexuality and my father’s suicide, that it will always just prolong that which I seek within, which is to heal. To get to the place where I became fully healed required me to feel the pain in its entirety first. It was never easy, but God consistently put enough support in my life when I became ready to completely face it without staying numb. Through that support, I was able to endure the pain until the day arrived when I reached acceptance of whatever the difficulty originally was. And time and time again when I did, that’s when I’ve realized I had ultimately been healed.
So if you should happen to be going through any one of life’s arduous moments at the present time, I encourage you to take a moment, breathe, and try to not numb yourself from feeling its pain. Fully feeling it in its entirety is so crucial to being able to fully deal with it. And fully dealing with it is so crucial to being able to fully heal from it. Don’t let your ego tell you otherwise like mine did for decades, and know that God can and will get you through whatever it is when you’re ready to face it unanesthetized…
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson
I’ve heard “uncover, discard, and discover” too. It’s a great way to do life, but it’s definitely in the “simple but not easy” category. I’d really rather not poke at some of that stuff too much, unless pain drives me to do so!