I heard a woman say the other day in a recovery meeting that she didn’t know why she keeps putting off her step work. Everyone seemed to have a different opinion, which ranged from laziness to fear, but none of them mentioned the one thing I believe is the real reason why anyone ever puts off anything. It all comes down to immediate gratification.
Here’s a question for you. If I said I’d give you $1000 once you complete that task you’ve been putting off for quite sometime, would you jump on it right away to get it done? My bet is you would. I mean who wouldn’t complete something they’ve been putting off for awhile if there was a reward involved?
But you see that’s the problem with the 12 Steps. There’s no immediate reward or payout that comes from doing them. There’s not any major high associated with doing the work in each of the steps. In fact, it’s often just the opposite because step work can frequently cause one to feel restless, irritable, and discontent as they progress through it. I put off doing my 12-step work for over a decade simply because it wasn’t going to give me any immediate gratification like many of the other things I was doing in life.
The truth is that most people are usually driven into doing things that provide them instant reward, even more so for people who’ve ever suffered from an addiction. While doing the 12 steps might provide at times a sense of satisfaction for completing the work, the fact remains that the payout is nothing compared to the quick highs that can be found elsewhere in this world so easily.
I generally find the only way someone ever does the entire 12 Step process is when the pain becomes great enough. Until then, it’s often tossed aside in favor of all those other things in life that provide the ego an instant sense of ease and comfort. And in all reality, this same principle normally holds true with any other type of work a person puts off in life.
All of this clearly reminds me of the former love I used to have for cigarettes. Several decades ago, my father once offered me a very large sum of money to quit that habit. I knew I could use that cash for a car and plenty of other things. All I had to do was go clean for the period of time he was asking, which I believe was either 6 months or a year. Regardless, I agreed to his terms and kicked the habit for the entire time he asked for. I was promptly rewarded with the money the day I completed it and sadly within a week, I was back to smoking again. It wasn’t until I started having serious health issues in my lungs and throat did I finally quit the nasty habit altogether, once and for all.
So the point I’m trying to make here is real simple. The work any of us continue to put off in this world, no matter what it is, most likely doesn’t have any immediate gratification attached to it. Doing the 12 Steps is just one example of countless things people put off in life for this reason and pain seems to be the only motivator that often drives us to ever get it done. But ironically, I’ve come to believe there actually is a level of gratification that comes with completing any task we ever procrastinate on. We just have to be open to it and not let our ego tell us what we think it should be. Case in point, working and living the 12 Steps as diligently as I have tried to, has led to a payout of a much healthier life and a much closer relationship to my Higher Power, and to me, that’s a pretty big payout…
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson