Month: December 2015

Finding Thanks In A Difficult Thanksgiving

I didn’t feel like I had the best Thanksgiving this year due to the ongoing sufferings I continue to deal with in regards to my current state of health. With that being said, I found myself thinking quite negatively about it until I realized that I needed to take a closer look and find a little thanks in it, because it’s always there, usually just beyond the ego’s perception of things. So here are five of those things I truly have to be thankful for, from this year’s Thanksgiving.

First and foremost, I most definitely had an abundance of food present throughout the entire day, which is something not to be taken lightly given the amount of people presently dealing with starvation on our planet.

Secondly, I had a loved one, my partner Chris, to spend the entire day with, whereas I know of so many people who had to spend the day completely alone given they had no family and no significant other to enjoy it with.

Thirdly, I spent it completely clean and sober from not just alcohol and drugs, but also from all of my former addictions. It truly is a miracle to go through any day, especially a holiday, free from every one of my past toxic outlets and behaviors.

Fourthly, I had a number of phone calls and text messages this year wishing me the best of day, which is in stark contrast to so many years in my past where I heard from next to no one.

And fifthly, although I perceived my health to be relatively poor from where I wanted it to be on this year’s Thanksgiving, I know there were vast numbers of people who suffered far worse with their health on that day. In my case, I was still able to get out of bed and leave the house on my own accord, had all my senses and normal bodily functions working, kept most of my sanity intact, and I did this all free from medication. I’m sure there were many who probably weren’t able to say the same.

Thus, looking at the day now, I had a far better Thanksgiving than my ego wanted me to believe I had, which is precisely why I must continue to do small exercises such as this, as each help me to find thankfulness in life, especially on a day which has that very word in it.

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson

Daily Reflection

“The point is not to pay back kindness but to pass it on”. (Julia Alvarez)

Being the holiday season, I’m reminded of a principle I saw in a movie many years ago, which was to “Pay It Forward”. It was about passing on any kindness and generosity received by someone to a completely different person. Unfortunately, what happens during this time of the year though is quite the opposite. Many end up choosing to buy something for another only because they know they’re going to be getting something back from them. I’ve found in life that’s generally not very fulfilling. Instead, I’ve discovered the best gifts I can offer are usually what I give to total strangers, versus back to those who just gave me something themselves. Often those paying it forward types of gifts are priceless to those who receive them and their effects go way beyond what I may ever see. So whether it’s buying a coffee or a meal, donating my time, giving a warm embrace, or even offering a heart-felt compliment to someone that didn’t just give me something prior, these are but a few of the many ways I’ve learned how to pay it forward in life. In doing so, my life has definitely become far more enriched than just giving something in return to each of those who also did something for me. And ultimately, it really does help to make my holiday season a lot brighter…

I pray I pass along and kindness and generosity that’s freely given to me this holiday season to others and that I remember to keep on paying it forward…

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson

“Spotlight”, A Phenomenal Film That Uncovers Priest Sexual Abuse

Having once been molested at a very young age by the coach of a swim and dive team I once was a part of, I came to understand just how much pain, horror, and agony comes afterwards from something as terrible as this. With that being said, I was reminded of much of what I went through all those years ago when I saw a movie named “Spotlight” the other day.

Spotlight is a 2015 film about The Boston Globe’s “Spotlight” investigative team that uncovered the decades long pattern of sexual abuse of children by Roman Catholic priests in Massachusetts, as well as the Boston Archdiocese efforts to keep it concealed.

Watching the efforts that the Catholic Church went through to settle the sexual abuse cases outside of court for years was hard enough, knowing the ones that truly got hurt would never find peace through any of those small cash settlements the church gave them. But then seeing the Church also shuffled those abusive priests around to other churches in other dioceses for years and knowing those patterns only repeated themselves with more children was even harder to watch.

The work that the “Spotlight” team went through to bring all this to light was most certainly a daunting effort with so many hurdles faced along the way. This was depicted quite well in the movie itself by Mark Ruffalo, Michael Keaton, Rachel McAdams, Brian d’Arcy James, John Slattery, and Liev Schreiber.

The one thing that I related to the most throughout this entire movie was the testimonies that many of the abused gave. In fact, I was moved to tears more than once as I heard them talk about being paid attention to by a priest and initially how good it felt. This was how I eventually got molested as well, because no one ever paid much attention to me as a kid, that was until this middle-aged man saw how broken and confused I was in life and began offering me what I so needed and wanted. But tragically, I fell prey to him and suffered for more than a decade afterwards because of it, no different than all those they depicted in this movie who were molested by priests.

Ironically, I once met a priest almost a decade ago now who told me of some of the horrors he saw back before all this sexual abuse came to light. He said there used to be “boy parties” where innocent children were passed around between priests and bishops for sexual favors. It was really challenging for me to hear this, knowing what I went through. I can only imagine what it was like for all those children to have such innocent faith in God and then have that be stifled out by the actions of the closest thing they knew to God at the time, which was those priests or bishops.

The sad reality for any of those who get sexually abused at a very young ago by someone else is that many never come back from it. Some end up killing themselves, others choose prostitution for a living, while many succumb to a life of drug and alcohol abuse. Thankfully, God led me away from all of those dark paths to become strong enough, not only to talk about what I went through to help others heal, but also to be able to sit through this movie that in many ways was like reliving my own tragic experience.

So in the end, I’m very grateful for the team of people who created the movie Spotlight because I believe it can and will be healing somehow for those who ever suffered from sexual abuse. I hope you may take the time to go see this film, as it truly is phenomenal and most certainly will garner favor during awards season…

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson