It’s towards the end of Day 6 here in Grand Cayman and as I sit here and write this, I’m struggling to find the words to write. My pains continue to plague me incessantly and I’ve been feeling overly depressed because of it. Man, my faith in my Higher Power seems to be wavering a lot and all I know to do is to keep trying to trust that everything will be ok.
It truly has been extremely difficult to enjoy myself today given how I’ve been feeling. It’s one thing to feel this way at home where right now it’s cold and possibly snowing. But when it’s been 84 degrees and crystal clear skies all day and night, I silently ask God why I haven’t gotten better yet. Regardless, I did my best to be grateful today.
Most of that came where I spent most of my time this afternoon, which was out in the ocean. There I found a little serenity, as I saw so many different specifies of fish including angel and bioluminescent-based ones. The reef I went to today also had the most vibrant colors of coral and I wished somehow during one of my moments gliding through it that I could feel as peaceful as it looked. But probably the biggest highlight I had today was taking a boat ride out to a sandbar where stingrays were in abundance. There I actually got hold them, pet them, feed them, and swim with them. It was definitely a weird sensation to feel them suck the food out of my hand, as it was very much like pressing a strong vacuum tube on my hand. Oh, and I did allow myself to actually place a kiss on the forehead of one that was at least 5 feet long and 3 feet wide!
Later in the day, after getting our car exchanged with another due to a vast number of mechanical issues with it, we went and bought a few more groceries and made hot dogs and baked beans for dinner.
Overall, I must say that today was the without a doubt the hardest one I’ve had here so far here in Grand Cayman, which sounds rather ironic given that one shouldn’t be having any hard days at all when on a tropical vacation right? Somewhere within my head right now as I saw this, I’m hearing a number of teachers from my past tell me that I need to remove the “should” out of my sentences.
Nevertheless, my entry for today is brief given how overwhelmed I feel. But as I do with all of my blog entries, I wish to end it with some gratitude. Gratitude that I haven’t turned to addictions to comfort myself, gratitude that I still have faith somewhere deep inside me in my Higher Power, and gratitude that I at least for a few moments today felt a part of God’s wonder when I held that huge stingray in my arms and planted a kiss on its head…
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson