Is God Really That Black And White?

Recently I had a conversation with someone in my neighborhood whom I see on my short walks on many of the days I’ve done them. Normally I’ve enjoyed each of the times we’ve spoken, but in my last encounter, that changed when the topic of religion arose.

During it, he mentioned he was quite conservative and felt that anyone who had an abortion or was a homosexual was a sinner and not welcomed in God’s kingdom. While my ego wanted to get into a debate surrounding this, I’ve learned over the years not to engage those who stand this strongly on what they feel about God. Although I did ask him one thing before walking away. I wondered why he would judge so many people that blatantly, given that in my understanding Jesus was nothing but unconditional love and acceptance.

His response was exactly as I’ve heard from so many times before. He said it’s black and white and right there in the Bible and that we are supposed to “love the sinner, and not the sin.” Ironically, I wrote about this very thing just over a year ago and my feelings around the subject still haven’t changed.

I honestly can’t believe that God stands on such black and white principles with life. And while there might be circumstances that an abortion or homosexuality might not be in someone’s highest good, I have the tendency to believe it’s probably not so black and white in God’s realm.

There are many wonderful people in our world who have had an abortion or are living in a same-sex relationship, who are truly wonderfully loving people. Do they not deserve God’s grace at all because of something written in the Bible? And are all those billions of people on this planet who don’t proclaim themselves as Christian but adhere to a different faith or are just good-natured people not worthy of God’s love?

This is the part of Christianity that continues to bother me and spurs more writing on the subject here in my blog. While I may consider myself a Christian, especially in my spiritual walk at present, I tend to shy away from all those who stand so firmly on the Bible without budging, like this man from my neighborhood.

There wasn’t any unconditional love and acceptance in my conversation with this man. There weren’t arms being opened indicating that all are welcomed. Instead, it felt much like my experience with a church I attended back in Boston when I was told that I couldn’t join because I was gay.

My feelings are totally opposite from this man, from a vast number of churches, and from so many devout Christians. I feel that if Jesus or God had a conversation with me today, I wouldn’t leave it feeling down, or in doubt, or bad about myself. Instead, I think it would end with me feeling extremely uplifted, embraced, and supported. Unfortunately, that’s not how I feel anytime I encounter conservative Christians like this man.

Look, I know the Bible has wonderful stories and great spiritual lessons to learn, but I also know it was written well over two thousand years ago in a very different time and a very different place. It was also written by man and has been tampered by man over the years ever since. And while I do believe it was inspired by God, it continues to be the precise thing that creates conditional based love on this planet. It continues to be the thing that fights, wars, and violence ensue over. And it continues to be the very thing that keeps us all from loving each other unconditionally.

I really don’t care if someone is Christian or Muslim or Jewish or gay or straight or getting an abortion or engaging in addictions or doing anything else for that matter. How one lives their life is not for me to say. I don’t feel it’s my mission to use the Bible as a way to judge that either. In fact, at one point in my life when I used to do this, I never felt good about myself. That’s probably because I made people feel guilty and unwanted through my unsolicited preaching’s.

Nowadays, I simply just believe I’m meant to love everyone and let them know that God loves them as well, regardless of who they are, what they’re made of, and what they’re doing on any given day. I think that if I keep embracing people in this way, there stands a good chance they will find the Light within themselves. But judging someone by using the Bible usually has the complete opposite effect on someone like it did with me after speaking with this neighbor the other day.

Thus it’s my hope and prayer I can become a much greater catalyst for others to grow brighter and brighter from within by never judging them and maybe in turn in doing so, they too will become inspired to do the same with another. And although I know I stand on some different principles with Christianity and the Bible from my neighbor, I will still offer him my unconditional love, because in my beliefs, God really isn’t so black and white…

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson

Gratitude From A Psychiatric Ward

Every Tuesday evening at the present time I’m part of a team of a few individuals who put on a 12-Step recovery meeting in the psychiatric ward of a local hospital. While our presence there is specifically for the program of Alcoholics Anonymous, the meeting tends to generate discussions around many other topics as well, especially mental and emotional disorders. While I have at times allowed my ego to convince me that my own mental and emotional imbalances are extremely severe, I’m finding that to be quite far from the truth each time I attend this meeting. This in turn has shown me what so many have at times reminded me of, that there are people out there who are far-worse off than I and that I need to practice a little more gratitude for what I have instead of focusing on what I don’t.

On some level, I realize they’re right. While I do practice gratitude every day, I’ve also on plenty of them, especially as of late, found myself thinking how crappy my life is due to the health issues I continue to face and work through. And each time I find myself thinking this way, it definitely takes away from the level of gratitude I have in life.

Some of that has changed a little though since attending this meeting as there I’ve met people who’ve been victims of sex-trafficking, who cut themselves, who have diseases and illnesses that are slowly killing them, who have been raped repeatedly by family members, who are homeless and have nothing but a few sets of clothes, and who have a lot more than just a couple of mental disorders. Taking a look in the mirror after many of these meetings, I can see that what I’ve been dealing with is minuscule in comparison.

But see, that’s the problem with the ego. It often tries to convince me that no one has it as bad as I and suddenly I find myself playing the victim. Yet here clear as day at this psychiatric ward of this hospital are plenty of examples of people who have much greater challenges to face in life compared to me. It’s pretty humbling to see, that’s for sure, and it most definitely has given me a greater appreciation for what I have, versus what I don’t.

Look, I know how easy it is to get caught up in my head allowing myself to think everyone else has it far better than I, but I continue to see each week that’s an illusion my ego keeps trying to create. The fact is I have it far better in life than a tremendous amount of individuals and I need to continue thanking my Higher Power for what I have versus what I don’t.

So thank You God for helping me to see this valuable lesson a little more clearly since attending these meetings at this psychiatric ward. I’m grateful for that and for the burdens you’ve allowed me to endure, as I know they could always be far worse…

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson