Every Tuesday evening at the present time I’m part of a team of a few individuals who put on a 12-Step recovery meeting in the psychiatric ward of a local hospital. While our presence there is specifically for the program of Alcoholics Anonymous, the meeting tends to generate discussions around many other topics as well, especially mental and emotional disorders. While I have at times allowed my ego to convince me that my own mental and emotional imbalances are extremely severe, I’m finding that to be quite far from the truth each time I attend this meeting. This in turn has shown me what so many have at times reminded me of, that there are people out there who are far-worse off than I and that I need to practice a little more gratitude for what I have instead of focusing on what I don’t.
On some level, I realize they’re right. While I do practice gratitude every day, I’ve also on plenty of them, especially as of late, found myself thinking how crappy my life is due to the health issues I continue to face and work through. And each time I find myself thinking this way, it definitely takes away from the level of gratitude I have in life.
Some of that has changed a little though since attending this meeting as there I’ve met people who’ve been victims of sex-trafficking, who cut themselves, who have diseases and illnesses that are slowly killing them, who have been raped repeatedly by family members, who are homeless and have nothing but a few sets of clothes, and who have a lot more than just a couple of mental disorders. Taking a look in the mirror after many of these meetings, I can see that what I’ve been dealing with is minuscule in comparison.
But see, that’s the problem with the ego. It often tries to convince me that no one has it as bad as I and suddenly I find myself playing the victim. Yet here clear as day at this psychiatric ward of this hospital are plenty of examples of people who have much greater challenges to face in life compared to me. It’s pretty humbling to see, that’s for sure, and it most definitely has given me a greater appreciation for what I have, versus what I don’t.
Look, I know how easy it is to get caught up in my head allowing myself to think everyone else has it far better than I, but I continue to see each week that’s an illusion my ego keeps trying to create. The fact is I have it far better in life than a tremendous amount of individuals and I need to continue thanking my Higher Power for what I have versus what I don’t.
So thank You God for helping me to see this valuable lesson a little more clearly since attending these meetings at this psychiatric ward. I’m grateful for that and for the burdens you’ve allowed me to endure, as I know they could always be far worse…
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson