Month: March 2016

It’s towards the end of Day 6 here in Grand Cayman and as I sit here and write this, I’m struggling to find the words to write. My pains continue to plague me incessantly and I’ve been feeling overly depressed because of it. Man, my faith in my Higher Power seems to be wavering a lot and all I know to do is to keep trying to trust that everything will be ok.

It truly has been extremely difficult to enjoy myself today given how I’ve been feeling. It’s one thing to feel this way at home where right now it’s cold and possibly snowing. But when it’s been 84 degrees and crystal clear skies all day and night, I silently ask God why I haven’t gotten better yet. Regardless, I did my best to be grateful today.

Most of that came where I spent most of my time this afternoon, which was out in the ocean. There I found a little serenity, as I saw so many different specifies of fish including angel and bioluminescent-based ones. The reef I went to today also had the most vibrant colors of coral and I wished somehow during one of my moments gliding through it that I could feel as peaceful as it looked.  But probably the biggest highlight I had today was taking a boat ride out to a sandbar where stingrays were in abundance. There I actually got hold them, pet them, feed them, and swim with them. It was definitely a weird sensation to feel them suck the food out of my hand, as it was very much like pressing a strong vacuum tube on my hand. Oh, and I did allow myself to actually place a kiss on the forehead of one that was at least 5 feet long and 3 feet wide!

Later in the day, after getting our car exchanged with another due to a vast number of mechanical issues with it, we went and bought a few more groceries and made hot dogs and baked beans for dinner.

Overall, I must say that today was the without a doubt the hardest one I’ve had here so far here in Grand Cayman, which sounds rather ironic given that one shouldn’t be having any hard days at all when on a tropical vacation right? Somewhere within my head right now as I saw this, I’m hearing a number of teachers from my past tell me that I need to remove the “should” out of my sentences.

Nevertheless, my entry for today is brief given how overwhelmed I feel. But as I do with all of my blog entries, I wish to end it with some gratitude. Gratitude that I haven’t turned to addictions to comfort myself, gratitude that I still have faith somewhere deep inside me in my Higher Power, and gratitude that I at least for a few moments today felt a part of God’s wonder when I held that huge stingray in my arms and planted a kiss on its head…

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson

 

 

Day 5 on Grand Cayman was definitely an interesting one. Beyond the fact that I awoke this morning with a mind-boggling amount of physical pain throughout my body, I did experience some pretty wonderful snorkeling a little later, once I left my room for the day.

To be perfectly honest though, I really wish that somehow this island air, the ocean and all its surroundings was going to be the catalyst I needed to get over this hump in my healing process. But so far it unfortunately hasn’t, yet I remain hopeful that being here is still helping me somehow.

I know many of you have either asked me directly or wondered silently, what exactly it is I’ve been trying to heal from. As best as I can put it, I’ve been doing everything I can to heal these past bunch of years from all of the negative things I put my mind, body, and soul through. Many don’t understand that living in addictions, doing toxic behaviors, and holding onto anger and resentment truly do poison oneself right on down to the cellular level and correcting that is not a simple process. It involves changing everything from who you spend time around, to what you eat, to what spiritual routines you do, to what holistic healing processes you choose to undergo, and so on and so forth. Who I am today is by far completely different from who I was when I began this journey in April of 2010. Alas, I was hoping to get a break from this healing process while here in Grand Cayman, but sadly it doesn’t work that way and what I continue to endure has been equal to what I’ve gone through at home, if not greater.

With that being said, I’ve been spending a lot of time in the ocean since arriving here on the island because I do find it soothing to me on every level, as I mentioned in yesterday’s posting. That’s why I’m generally out in the ocean as soon as I’m done with my morning spiritual routines each day, trying to connect to something greater than myself. Today, I swam through the most beautiful schools of fish who seemed totally unbothered by my presence. I touched their bodies and fins and almost felt as if I was a part of their cheerful groups. Some of the schools I even swam through had fish that were over three feet long!

I also enjoyed today looking at all the different types of coral and plant life that grow in the ocean. The colors of all of it on a bright sunny day are truly spectacular. I especially like the purple-colored plants. I want to mention I did have a quick underwater chuckle today when I was silently observing one particular area of the ocean floor. There I saw a set of eyes peaking out from a tiny cave and as I peered closer, a huge orange fish with the most amazingly red dorsal fin suddenly emerged and greeted me. Seeing things like this when snorkeling involves a lot of patience because quite often the coolest things appear only when you stop moving around and just observe for awhile. Sometimes that’s hard to do though if the waves are thrashing at you like they were at one point for me today. In fact, I had a little scare when I abruptly got caught in a riptide and began being pulled farther out into the ocean. Thankfully, I’ve been swimming my entire life to know what to do in circumstances like this and quickly caught a wave crashing nearby to ride it back in.

Aside from snorkeling today, I did also listen to a presentation for a potential time share ownership here. While I know I told myself last year I wouldn’t do one of these again, I opted to try it again this time because the people here were so overly friendly. Ironically, it actually ended up being rather fun and neither my partner nor I experienced any sales-pressure tactics. The reason why we actually did this was we’ve been considering looking to invest in a specific resort destination to go back to year after year that will save us money when doing so. Timeshares in the long run can do that. While we did end up buying after the presentation was over, we did receive a nice thank you from them, which was two free sting-ray adventure tickets, which we are going to do tomorrow.

There was also one more noteworthy thing that happened today and that was the free dinner my partner and I were treated to at the resort restaurant. Given the lock-out from our room we experienced yesterday, management felt we deserved a free meal on them due to the inconvenience. It was very enjoyable sitting out on the restaurant balcony tonight under the full moon overlooking the ocean while dining on some pot stickers, a strawberry salad, chicken curry vindaloo, and coconut crème pie. I should mention though that we ended our evening just after eating our huge meal watching the finale of The Biggest Loser! LOL.

So while I may continue to endure extremely intensive pain, even here in beautiful Grand Cayman, I remain thankful to my Higher Power for all of the things I got to enjoy today both under the sea and above.

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson

It’s Day 4 of my Grand Cayman getaway and one that started with me having great difficulty getting up. My dreams had been filled throughout the night with violence and anxiety and it honestly felt like my body had gone through the wringer by the time I awoke. But prayer helped me to get beyond this, as today I had an extended session of talking with God and felt much better after it.

My partner and I opted today, after finishing my morning spiritual routine, to head about 40 minutes away to a small area called Smith Cove where there was a small inlet surrounded by a huge reef. Before we left to go there, I rented some snorkel gear so that I could explore the amazing life that exists under the sea.

Every year for close to 10 years now, I’ve made sure to do several snorkeling adventures when I’ve come to the Caribbean. Today was the first of those here in Grand Cayman and I was rather excited to explore the depths of the ocean.

While I would rather go to much deeper depths by doing scuba, my ears unfortunately don’t equalize the pressure so I’ve come to acceptance that I can still enjoy God’s beauty in the ocean by spending some time snorkeling. If you’ve never done this, I highly recommend it, as I find it’s quite soothing to the soul.

When we arrived at the busy little inlet today, it didn’t take long for me to put on my gear and head out into the reef. Immediately I saw a fish that I’ve seen in aquariums before. It was one that literally swims on it’s side, but appears as if it’s eye is on top. Over the course of the next hour or so, I got to see many other types of fish as well. There were blue ones, orange ones, yellow ones, and plenty of shades in between. I also swam through several schools of these tiny silver looking ones that merely moved aside as I glided through them. Probably the most stunning fish I got to see today though was a parrot fish.

I should tell you that I do have a concern every time I snorkel and it’s that I don’t let the waves run me into the reef. Some of the coral is poisonous to the skin and there’s also these spiky little sea creatures hidden throughout it that really hurt if you touch them. Thankfully none of that happened to me today.

When the snorkeling was done and my partner and I began to feel a little hungry, we headed along the coastline back towards our resort, stopping a few times along the way to take some pictures. We grabbed one of what’s called a “blowhole”, which is where the sea water blows up through the coral and creates a fountain. We also took one of this strange cow that was lying near the roadside all by itself. At first we thought it wasn’t even real because every time we had passed by it, the cow was seated in the same spot and position. Ironically, it was real and apparently a sad and neglected one at that. It was tied to a rope in the middle of some cleared out jungle. It looked malnourished and had a water bucket in front of it that was totally empty on a very hot day. As we approached it, I watched the cow immediately stand up and look excited to have some company. I had felt very sad for it and decided to give the rest of my large bottle of water for it to drink, of which it seemed extremely grateful. I really have an appreciation today for all of God’s living beings, cows included, and find it truly disappointing when anyone or anything is being mistreated. As we left the cow and headed to a late lunch, I told it I loved it and hoped it would be ok.

Finding a place to eat proved to be a slight challenge after that because of the time in the day. It was smack dab in the middle of the afternoon after lunch was over and dinner hadn’t started yet. Most places we checked out were closed, but thankfully we found one named Tucca that wasn’t. It was an Australian owned and themed restaurant and I have to say my partner and I had the best meal so far on our trip to Grand Cayman. We dined on a porch overlooking the ocean where I had some tempura fish and my partner an angus burger. Interestingly enough the place had a kangaroo burger and something with crocodile in it. After we finished our food, we shared a dessert that was titled “Luv In A jar”. Filled with multiple layers of crème, chocolate, graham cracker, and a few other ingredients, it truly was heavenly.

Alas, the rest of our evening was much less adventurous, other than us getting locked out of our room for a good hour. Somehow the door simply stopped functioning, but thankfully it all got resolved. Something like this in my past probably would have challenged my patience quite a bit, except in this case it didn’t. I think that’s because I’ve learned that getting overly bothered by things like this only stresses me out and causes more pain to my body. And that’s something I definitely don’t need anymore of.

For the remaining hours before hitting the hay, we cooked a late dinner of shake and bake chicken and hung out either on the balcony staring at the full moon or watching some television. As the 4^th day of our vacation came to a close, what I felt most was appreciation and gratitude for my Higher Power for still being able to snorkel, for having my heart open up to something as simple as a neglected cow, and for leading us to a small little Australian restaurant in the middle of nowhere where the food was just incredible…

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson