What I find so ironic in life right now is how I can trust an architect of a glass floor at the top of the Sears Tower, yet I’m struggling to do the same when it comes to my health and The Great Architect of life.
When I ascended the Sears Tower two summers ago with a friend and saw this new feature there, a glass floor where one could go stand out on it and look down 1,353 feet, I didn’t hesitate one bit to experience it. I waited patiently for my turn and walked out on it, jumping up and down a few times, laying on my back, and getting a few snapshots of myself sitting on it. Not once did my heart ever skip a beat and not once did I ever worry that it was going to break under me. I just trusted in this architect who designed and built the impressive feature.
But then there’s my health and all the physical, mental, and emotional stuff I’ve been going through for so long now, with the last year being the hardest of my entire life. For awhile there, I received various signs and affirmations from God that helped me to keep going. Sometimes those came through friends, sometimes it was through dreams, sometimes it originated from something in nature, and sometimes it was just because I suddenly saw a shift for the better in how I was feeling. But unfortunately, I haven’t had much of those signs or affirmations as of late and because of that I’ve found myself questioning The Great Architect of my life.
Truth be told, trust is really easy when things are going well for someone. It becomes a littler harder though when things aren’t going as well, yet it still remains manageable when a nice nudge or blessing comes along on a regular basis to remind you it’s all going to be ok. But what happens when things feel like they aren’t going well at all on a consistent basis, when life feels like it’s falling apart, and when it seems as if God has gone into radio silence?
That’s the dilemma I’ve been facing a lot as of late. So here I am out on a different type of glass floor, one that I’ve been on for so long I can’t remember what it’s like to have my feet firmly planted on the actual ground. Yet somehow I’ve kept enough trust in God to remain where I am, even on days like this when my ego has tried to tell me to just pack in it.
In all honesty though, the last two months of my life has really challenged my ability to keep doing this, as it feels like the glass floor I’m standing on is really beginning to crack. Interestingly enough, the glass floor at the Sears Tower actually did crack a few years ago, but no one ever fell through and it eventually got fully repaired. Similarly, I totally believe that God can repair any cracks I may perceive are going on with what’s supporting me. So maybe what’s ultimately being tested here is whether I can continue to trust in that, even in the absence of any definitive sign coming along indicating things will ever get better.
I truly do want to keep trusting in The Great Architect of my life as much as I trusted in this architect of that glass floor in the Sears Tower. I think what it comes down to is faith and in this case, blind faith. It’s a hard concept to swallow, especially because I have no proof that my life will ever get better by continuing to trust in God with my health and healing. Yet somehow day by day, I have continued to find a mustard seed of faith and have kept my belief that God will keep me safe.
So if you too are someone who might be struggling with trusting The Great Architect in some aspect of your life, know you’re not alone and know that somehow in God’s perfect timing, I truly believe that everything will come together for our greater good…
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson
