Weddings used to be events that I solely looked forward to because of all the free booze that were at them. They were also events where I could easily hide my alcoholism because so many others often get drunk at them as well. But thankfully, weddings these days are occasions meant to celebrated in a totally different way for myself, one that is more spiritual versus superficial.
About a week ago I was actually at a wedding for a member of the family of someone I’ve sponsored in recovery. There I watched as two people became joined in marriage and it was almost surreal how I found myself appreciating the event on a much different level. Instead of sitting there and thinking about how long it’s going to be before the open bar will begin, I was able to focus on what really mattered and that was observing the culmination of a couple’s happiness.
It was interesting though to see a few people there at the wedding who reminded me of my old self. A few had already gotten a drink or two upon arriving and were consuming them while the couple exchanged vows. That was me several decades ago, trying to get my buzz started as early as possible. I must say it was rather nice to be able to focus much more on the joy the couple was experiencing versus the misery I once had due to my internal addiction-based cravings.
I was even more grateful later in the evening while the reception was going on, because there my focus continued on things that mattered far more such as carrying on conversations with those at the table I dined at. For example, two of the people I sat with were a doctor and his wife where much of the evening we talked about the dangers of alcoholism and drug addiction. I even shared with them about my own journey to recovery and the losses I’ve experienced along my way there. That’s a far cry from the days when I wasn’t even able to be coherent no more than an hour or so into the festivities of a wedding due to being so heavily intoxicated.
Sadly, I did see several at the reception though who reminded me quite clearly of myself back in the day, constantly having a drink in hand, slurring words, face getting red, and heading back and forth to the open bar looking for something to fill that void I had within.
I thank God that’s not where I’m at today and I thank God I’m sober now from alcohol and drugs. But even more importantly, I thank God I can enjoy something like a wedding nowadays because at least I’m present at them for what they’re truly for and that’s to witness some of God’s unconditional love at its best…
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson
Continue t be grateful for being released from that bondage