“We are not a glum lot…” These words were written by Bill Wilson in the Alcoholics Anonymous book and refer to the notion that people in recovery do have fun. Quite often people come into the rooms of recovery and think, “How can I possibly remain clean and sober from alcohol and drugs and still have fun in life?” The truth is they can, but it takes work to allow themselves to see that they can.
Early on in recovery though, an addict’s mind struggles to conceive how they can possibly enjoy barbecues, parties, weddings, concerts, vacations, etc., without any booze or pills. Yet there are plenty of people out there who have remained clean and sober for long periods of time who have done just that. The truth is, none of us in recovery would probably have stuck around if everyone in the rooms were miserable.
In my case though, it took me far longer to learn how to have fun in recovery because I continued to live in other addictions, thinking they were the only way I could enjoy my life. What this translated into was me caffeinating myself up a lot, or hanging around people I was attracted to and/or chasing after, or gambling a bunch, and buying a lot of things for myself on a regular basis, believing they were the only way sobriety from alcohol and drugs could be enjoyed.
Thankfully I’ve moved away from that illusion some four years ago and gave up all of that sickness. In doing so, I had to relearn from a much healthier perspective how to have fun in recovery again because the fun I was having before was only addictive-based.
I must admit, it’s been difficult for me at times because my brain has been so used to almost three decades of indulging in one addictive pleasure after another. But what I’ve found lately is that I can have fun just hanging around with a few people and having a coffee, or playing some cards (and not for money), or sitting in a park simply to enjoy nature, or just taking a random drive somewhere, like I did today with my partner when we went to Grand Rapids, Ohio and had a nice lunch and walked along the canal. Not too long ago though, I would have most likely gotten some heavy expresso drink, eaten a bunch of chocolate, and occasionally looked at porn on my phone to enjoy a day like today. Thankfully that’s not the case anymore. Now I’ve learned I don’t have to do things like that in recovery to have fun, which is what most others in recovery have learned along the way as well.
We truly aren’t a glum lot because we’ve all learned over time that happiness never came from the substances of our addiction. In fact, more than not, those substances only brought us pain. Yet in recovery, we’ve discovered how to be content without those substances and enjoy living life on life’s terms. Whether that comes through dinners out with friends, trips to movies, going on retreats, game nights, and so much more, those of us in recovery are not glum at all, especially if we are doing our work to continue growing spiritually.
So if you think the idea of never having alcohol or drugs again seems rather drab and dull, realize that’s not the case for most of us who have been around for a while on the sober track. But to grasp this concept for yourself, it will take you time, it will take work, and in the end you too will see that we truly aren’t a glum lot, not one bit…
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson