Is it just a human tendency to not share something such as a coveted possession? If it’s not, then how early does that pattern of behavior begin in a person’s life? I ask these questions rhetorically only because of an observation I made the other day at a children’s pre-school playground that was next to the restaurant I was dining at outside.
When I was getting ready to leave my table to head home, a bunch of kids were being led into the pre-school’s fenced in play area. As soon as the teacher gave them a thumbs up, they all scrambled and ran screaming towards the nearest toys. What grabbed my attention the most during this frantic act though were the two kids who didn’t make it fast enough to the hot item, which was apparently the several “big wheels” there. For the next few minutes I observed as those who actually first got to those big wheels proceeded to ride around the kids who didn’t, almost as if they were purposely trying to rub in it in their faces. This in turn led the two who didn’t get to them to only profusely cry. But even worse, I watched as the teacher did nothing about it.
The teacher’s neglect aside, I silently wondered if the children on those big wheels learned that behavior from their parents or was it just innate? I’m grateful to say that my own parents didn’t raise me that way. I was taught to share when I was a kid, but unfortunately I still at times struggled with that, mostly because I saw too many other children hoarding what they had in life. Sadly, those moments of selfishness only grew worse during my addiction-riddled days when I used to refuse to share much of anything with anyone. Eventually though, the spiritual work I did on myself to grow closer to God opened my eyes a lot more to all the selfish acts I was doing, such as my inability to share things God had given me in abundance. Now, I’m far more open to sharing because God showed me that when I do share, I am filled with a lot more joy than when I don’t. I just wish I could impart this newfound spiritual wisdom to all those who still struggle with sharing things like I once did.
Nevertheless, as I drove away from the restaurant pondering all this, I thought about where the responsibility lies to prevent this unwanted trait from happening in kids? How can children ultimately be raised to share equally that which they are blessed with?
I tend to believe that answer rests upon the parents and various adults who surround each child. The fact is, kids usually mimic what they see in those older than them. Thus if the adults they are around aren’t sharing things with others themselves or if they don’t care whether children are picking up that selfish trait from somewhere else, then the world is only going to continue being filled with a lot more self-centered people. But if every adult could begin to share a lot more what they are blessed with in life, not only would they feel greater joy in doing so, they also would help the children around them learn to do the same.
Getting there of course usually requires a spiritual transformation. In my case, that came through a lot of pain and hardship. I’m thankful that I’ve gone through so much of that, even as hard as it’s been, because I at least am able to see things like pre-school kids hoarding toys as a simple reminder where I once was on my own spiritual journey.
The bottom line is that equally sharing things in life really will bring greater joy to a person’s soul, but the only way a child will ever know this is to show them through our own actions. So by practicing this ourselves, we truly will begin to change the world, and eventually others like children in a pre-school play area will follow…
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson
I would have walked over to the teacher and asked her why she didn’t engage the child left behind. It is not babying the child that lost out, it’s reassuring them that they will get their turn. She should then talk to the others that were doing their bad behavior and ask them how they would feel if they were the one waiting. If the parents don’t get it, surely the teacher should. You would be an excellent role model. You may want to volunteer sometime. You may be on to something much bigger and brighter.
I would agree the fact yes behavior is most often a learned trait and that family is the basis for a child’s introduction into how they treat others, inclouding sharing.
Hopefully one day this trait of not sharing will become less and less as families show their children a better way of living…