Month: October 2016

Seeing The Benefits Of Recovery With My Sister’s Visit

Does anyone in your family, immediate or extended, have serious issues, tension or problems with you? I ask this question only for the notion that I used to have a lot of that with my sister and it was chiefly due to my addictions and the behaviors I exhibited because of them. Thankfully, through my recovery work and my relationship with God, I can see that’s changed now. The only reason why I know I can safely say that is for the fact that my sister recently visited me for the first time in almost two years and told me how relaxed she was and how much I’ve changed for the better.

Just to give you an idea of how I used to be when I was around my sister during my addiction-laden years, here are some of the things I once regrettably did:

  1. Leaving her in my home when she was visiting from out of town while I went out on a “date” with someone.
  2. Pointing out all her flaws instead of focusing on my own and instead of lifting the good parts of her up.
  3. Bringing strangers to her home for family get-togethers that were really nothing more than people who were part of my sex and love addiction.
  4. Spending vast amounts of time on my phone with others instead of spending it with her.
  5. Taking most of the time I spent with her talking about the drama in my life.
  6. Taking care of her house while she was away but bringing people there without her permission.
  7. Constantly giving her guilt trips to manipulate her.
  8. Rarely listening to what she was going through.
  9. Rarely being there for her when she asked for my help or for a favor.
  10. Rarely respecting her rules or boundaries.

The truth is, I disrespected my sister for the better part of several decades. And yet somehow, she always stuck around, albeit with reservations, hoping and believing I’d one day wake up and smell the roses to the craziness I was living in.

Thank God I eventually did.

And thank God that my sister gave me a million chances.

Because sadly, there are plenty of family members out there who have been so hurt and broken by one of their own succumbing to an addiction that they never have trusted them again, nor brought them back into their life.

That’s why I know I’m one of the lucky ones, well blessed by God is probably a better description.

I’m just so thankful that my sister had such a good time while she was here visiting me. I made sure to do the things I know my heart and soul always wanted to do for her like treat her to meals, desserts and such, like take her to nice scenic places and give her the chance to open up about where she is at in life, and like giving her the space to just rest, to find some peace, and to soak up a little of God’s joy.

So I thank you God for helping me to transform as much as I have, so that my sister could see the side of me that remained hidden for far too many years. Thank you for her giving me as many chances as she did over the years and for her finally having a weekend with me where she had the brother she always deserved. May you bless her life, her family, and her home with lots of love and light, and may I continue to do the same for her as well from here on out…

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Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson

“Things Aren’t Always What They Seem”

Every now and then I come across a great parable that truly touches my life. The following is one of them, of which I found long ago when I was hoping to inspire my mother who was going through a rough period in her life. Ironically, this parable resurfaced recently when my sister visited and pulled out one of my bibles from my bookshelf that I hadn’t opened for a very long time. It was my mother’s bible and within it was the email I sent of this parable to her almost two decades ago now. The parable is titled “Things Aren’t Always What They Seem” and I feel it definitely applies to the many hardships I’ve been facing myself over the past bunch of years. My only prayer is that each of you will enjoy its message as much as I have and still do.

Two travelling angels stopped to spend the night in the home of a wealthy family. The family was rude and refused to let the angles stay in their mansion’s guest room. Instead, the angels were given a space in their cold basement. As they made their bed on a very hard floor, the older angel saw a hole in the wall and repaired it. When the younger angle asked why, the older angel replied, “Things aren’t always what they seem.”

The next night the pair came to rest at the house of a very poor, but quite hospitable farmer and his wife. After sharing what little food they had, the couple let the angels sleep in their bed so that they could have a good night’s rest. When the sun came up the next morning the angles found the farmer and his wife in tears. Their only cow, whose milk had been their sole source of income, now lay dead in the field. The younger angel was confused and asked the older angel, “How could you have let this happen!? The first man had everything, yet you helped him,” she accused. “The second family had little, but was willing to share everything, and yet you let their only cow die.” “Things aren’t always what they seem,” the older angel replied.

“When we stayed in the basement of the mansion, I noticed there was gold stored in that hole in the wall. Since the owner was so obsessed with greed and unwilling to share his good fortune, I sealed the wall so that he would never find it. Then last night as we slept in the farmer’s bed, the angel of death came for his wife. I gave him the cow instead. Things aren’t always what they seem,” the older angel said humbly.

Sometimes this is exactly what happens when things don’t turn out the way we think they should. But if we have faith, we just need to trust that every outcome in our life is always to our advantage. And while we may not know that at the time it happens, one day it will make sense. Until then, just keep your faith and remember that “Things aren’t always what they seem…”

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Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson