Month: March 2017

Setting Quality Time Aside For All Your Friends

Have you ever had anyone in your life who said they were your friend, but usually only contacted you when they needed something? Or do all your friends regularly set quality time aside for you, that doesn’t seem to regularly revolve around a favor needed or a personal agenda?

I ask this only because I’ve been on the receiving side of this recently with a few individuals. There’s one who seems to call me every other week to ask either for a ride to work or money to borrow and another who seems to contact me whenever they’re getting ready for air travel and are looking for a ride to or from the airport. But in both cases, neither ever call me just to say hi and ask if I want to hang out.

What’s frustrating about having to experience this is the mirror I’m having to face because of it, as this is exactly what I use to do to plenty of those who considered me their friend. Case in point, I once had a buddy who would have done anything to be there for me. He was probably the most loyal person I’ve ever had in my life, yet I rarely made quality time for him unless I needed something. One time in fact, I asked him to help paint my place of living because I was so terrible at doing that, and after an hour or two watching him do the task, I left him at my place, went to a party, and didn’t invite him to go with me. Looking back, an even worse realization is the reality that if I had been able to paint, I most likely wouldn’t have even called him in the first place to hang out. Know that I’m on the receiving end of the very same type of behavior, I see how crappy it feels when the tables are turned.

Sometimes I sincerely wonder if that’s how the Universe operates, karma per se. Meaning, for all the selfish and self-centered actions we do in life, do they always come back around so that we end up being on the receiving side of them simply to know how it feels, all for the purpose of helping us to change our ways?

I don’t know the answer to that of course, but I can say I’m actually kind of grateful for having to experience this recently as much as I have. I see how terrible of a friend I was to some back then, never setting quality time aside with those who truly cared about me and loved me dearly. Instead, I constantly had some type of angle as to why I would contact them to hang out.

Thankfully I do the exact opposite these days. I make it a point now to set quality time aside with those I consider to be true friends, always doing my best to never revolve that time around me needing some type of favor. Because I don’t want to be a selfish friend anymore. I don’t want to use people who I say are a friend, for my own gain. I simply just want to be a person who sets personal time aside for his friends, solely to get to know them a little better.

So, if you happen to have someone in your life who you say is your friend, yet you often seem to contact them only when you need something, I encourage you to take a look at how you’re treating them. Know that every person deserves quality time here and there with those they consider a friend. Quality time that doesn’t revolve around favors needed by you or your own personal agendas. And quality time that is just you being with them, solely because you love being with them and treasure their company, as isn’t that what being a true friend is really all about?

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Daily Reflection

“When you can’t control what’s happening, challenge yourself to control the way you respond to what’s happening, rather than attempting to take control of something else in life. That’s where real spiritual power can be found and it’s where you’ll also find true peace and serenity as well.” (Unknown)

It’s been a pretty common theme lately to feel out of control in one area of my life, only to attempt to take control in another to deal with it. Due to my ongoing health and healing issues that have been progressing far more slowly than my ego has wanted, I often find myself trying to grasp onto control elsewhere, such as with my partner and the work I think he needs to do in his own recovery, or with several men’s groups I’m part of and the rules I perceive are lacking in their current structure, or with friends who want to hang out with me and always feeling the need to choose the things we do together. Unfortunately, I’m learning that the more I attempt to take control like this, solely to counterbalance the lack of control I feel in other areas of my life, the more I actually seem to enjoy nothing. And the more I actually seem to enjoy nothing because of all these attempts at control, the more I continue to realize how much I’m sacrificing my own peace and serenity, which is something I categorically want a lot more of than I have right now! I know the key to changing this though is to accept the fact I’ll never be in control of everything that happens in my life. Instead, I need to change the way I respond to each of those things that truly are out of my control. After all, if I genuinely believe there’s a Higher Force at work in this world that’s bringing everything together for our greatest good, then maybe it’s time I begin accepting that One who I feel is really in control. In doing so, I think it’s a safe bet to say I’ll achieve the desired peace and serenity I seek a lot quicker, than if I continue to attempt to control one thing after another in life.

God, I pray you help me accept the things that are out of my control and to resist the urge to control other areas of my life in the process of acceptance. And I pray that I may feel more of Your peace and serenity the more I do.

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson