Month: February 2018

Thought For The Day

“One of the biggest problems with those who seek to be in a monogamous relationship is that too many people spend their time trying to find someone to sleep with, instead of finding someone worth waking up to.” (Unknown)

AND

“Being in love is sacred. When you have that connection with someone and it’s a monogamous one, there’s no other feeling in the world.” (Alex Elle)

AND

“For me, the highest level of sexual excitement is in a monogamous relationship.” (Warren Beatty)

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Why My Sixth Anniversary With My Partner Is A Major Achievement…

Today is my sixth anniversary with my partner Chris, which frankly I feel is a major achievement to say the least. Given my heavily addictive past, I was never able to last beyond the honeymoon phase of any relationship before I was off and running into the arms of another potential suitor.

But thankfully, my 12 Step recovery work helped to change that and has led to me remaining 100% monogamous with my partner, physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, throughout each one of the years I’ve been with him.

Regrettably, I can’t say that was true with any of my prior relationships though, because in each of them, once the newness wore off, I’d eventually fall prey at some point to things like pornography, phone sex, cybersex, and heavy flirtatious intrigue with someone else I was attracted to. And regularly engaging in any of them simply led to me leaving those relationships for another.

But beyond my addictive past, there’s another reason why I think it’s a major achievement that I’m celebrating six years with my partner. What that deals with is the reality that monogamy is rapidly becoming not the norm for far too many people in the world nowadays. Rather, there seems to be married men to women who are sleeping with men on the side, partners swinging with other partners, open relationships where both have abilities to occasionally have sex with others, and so on and so forth. Yet, there’s also another unfortunately reality in the culture I live in when it comes to monogamy, as I find that most gay men just don’t seem to know how to remain monogamous in the long term with each other.

While I do know of a few gay couples who have been monogamous for more than ten or even twenty years together, I find most others simply either don’t know how to or want to. In fact, there are many events these days that male gay couples go together to, where once there, they “play” with others who aren’t their partners. It’s simply considered to be acceptable “playtime”. Anytime I asked why they can’t remain monogamous with each other, the general consensus is that it’s just sex and not love, and that the sex grew old after time with their partner. Yet, somehow, playing with someone else kept things “fresh” between them. Unfortunately, I think this is one of the very reasons why so many in our world have developed prejudice towards the gay culture because it often looks to them like gays can’t keep “it in their pants”. Sadly, I was once one of those very people who lived like this and set a poor example.

I’m just glad I eventually realized I had an addiction in the sex and love department and sought recovery for it, because once I did, it not only helped me to stop all those toxic behaviors that always led me away from living monogamously, it also allowed God to bring Chris into my life.

I honestly do believe that relationships can grow closer over time, as the years progress, like I feel mine has with Chris, even in the intimate department. But I think that involves remaining faithful mind, body, and soul to each other, and also living by a Higher Guidance, instead of to one’s own self-will, ego, and lust-based desires, like I once did.

So, as Chris and I celebrate our sixth anniversary today and begin our seventh year together, I am truly blessed to see that 12 Step Recovery and a life of faith and devotion to God does work to keep two people together monogamously, even two gay men…

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Silly Joke Friday

There once was a man who lived with a terrible passion for baked beans. He loved them so much, but they always had an embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction on him.

One day he met a woman and fell in love. When it became apparent that they would marry, he thought to himself, she’ll never go through with the marriage with me carrying on like this, so he made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans. Soon after, they got married.

A few months later, on his way home from work one day, his car broke down a few miles from his house. He called his wife to let her know and she suggested he walk the remainder for a little exercise because she was really busy preparing dinner. He agreed and just as he got on his way, he passed by a small café and the wonderful aroma of baked beans emanating from it. Since he still had those couple of miles to go before he reached his home, he figured he would be able to walk off any ill effects that might occur if he quickly stopped in to have a little of his favorite food. Three extra-large helpings later, he was back on his way home, and, just as he thought, it was filled with one fart after another. But, by the time he arrived at his front door, he felt reasonably safe that he had gotten it all out of him.

His wife met him there and seemed somewhat excited to see him. She exclaimed, “Darling, I have the most wonderful surprise for you for dinner tonight!” She then put a blindfold on him and led him to his chair at the head of the table and made him promise not to peek.

At this point he unfortunately was beginning to feel another fart coming on. Just as his wife was about to remove the blindfold, the telephone thankfully rang. She again made him promise not to peek until she returned, and away she went into another room to answer the phone. While she was gone, he quickly seized the opportunity by shifting his weight to one leg and letting it go. It was not only loud, but ripe as a rotten egg, causing him to have a hard time breathing for a moment, so he felt for his napkin and fanned the air about him.

He started to feel better again when suddenly another urge to fart came on. He raised his leg again and let it rip. This time it sounded like a diesel engine revving and smelling even worse than the last one. To keep himself from having to inhale it, he tried fanning his hands and arms around a bit, hoping the smell would dissipate better than how the napkin had fared for him. But in the midst of doing that, the last one he’d emit came out of him and it was a real blue-ribbon winner. It was so loud that even the table shook and so foul-smelling that he actually started gagging. He did everything he could to dispel the smell away from the room.

Thankfully, a few minutes passed before his wife’s phone call ended, which by then the toxic air seemed to have returned back to normal. Still blindfolded, but now smiling, because she hadn’t discovered his worst trait, he felt thoroughly relieved. When she re-entered the dining room and asked him if he had peeked at the dinner table, he reassured her he had not. Then, upon removing the blindfold, she exclaimed, “SURPRISE!”

There, to his shock and horror, seated around the table were twelve very unhappy, frowning dinner guests, each of them being his dearest friends, who were all there for his 40th surprise birthday party…

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson