Month: March 2018

I have come to the conclusion only recently that it’s not helping me on any level to talk about my aches and pains or my health issues in depth to anyone but God for one really important reason and that’s the negativity it seems to create in me and around me whenever I choose to share it with someone.

A good example of this occurred just over a week ago when I attended my bi-weekly spiritual men’s group. There I opted to share in depth about the extremely pain-filled day I was having and felt that maybe if I talked about it there a little, I might end up feeling better. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case. Instead, I started whining and complaining, coming off as if no one in that room had ever experienced anything as painful as what I’ve been going through. That in turn created a wave of suggestions coming my way from each of those in attendance, which in turn created a wave of defensiveness and complaining on my part given the number of things I’ve already tried over the years to heal myself with to no avail.

The fact is, I believe the best person to share in depth any of my health struggles with is God because if a piece of God lives within me, then God truly knows exactly what I’m feeling inside every single day. And knowing that has brought me more comfort than any of those times I’ve ever attempted to share in depth my health struggles with someone else. Because no one here on Earth really can or ever will understand the depth of my suffering because they aren’t living in my shoes and the same is true for all of us as well in respect to each other’s pains and sufferings of life.

Case in point, whenever I’ve had people share with me their own various levels of pain whether it was mental, emotional, physical, or spiritual in nature, I’ve often thought that their suffering didn’t seem that bad. Yet, that’s precisely the problem because in believing that, I become motivated to say something like “Just remember that there are people out there in far worse situations than you…” or I become motivated to offer my own suggestions on things they might consider doing to alleviate some of it. Unfortunately, both of these things only tend to create a level of defensiveness and negativity in the one who’s going through the pain and suffering.

Why this is can directly be related to the reality that we each have our own unique filters, wiring, up-bringing, etc. So, something that is not painful to me may be totally painful for someone else and vice versa. It’s unfortunate that this fact tends to be overlooked more than not, instead of simply doing the very thing a grief-stricken person usually needs the most, that being to receive only reassuring words of support and compassion. But sadly, most human beings aren’t hard-wired this way.

That’s why I feel it’s better opening up in depth to God about my pain and suffering rather than another human being these days because at least when I go to God in prayer, I can safely bawl my eyes out, bear my heart and soul in entirety, and be angry if I so choose, without having any of those human filters come back my way.

This is why I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s for the best I don’t go into depths anymore with anyone about my aches and pains and health issues. It isn’t helping me  because I know where it always leads to, that being to become consumed with negativity, which is something I definitely don’t want to spread or be filled with anymore in life. So, I’m going to work harder on praying more to God about my pain than sharing it in depth with others, because I can clearly see now how that’s a far more positive light-inducing path.

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson