Silly Joke #1
One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast to her brunette head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, “Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?” Her mother replied, “Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.” The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, “Momma, how come ALL of grandma’s hairs are white?”
Silly Joke #2
A little old man shuffled slowly into the ‘Orange Dipper’, an ice cream parlor in Naples , and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool. After catching his breath he ordered a banana split. The waitress asked kindly, ‘Crushed nuts?’ ‘No,’ he replied, ‘hemorrhoids…’
Silly Joke #3
During his physical, the doctor asked the patient about his daily activity level. He described a typical day this way: ‘Well, yesterday afternoon, I waded along the edge of a lake, hiked through some forest, escaped from some kind of wild animal in some heavy brush, jumped away from an aggressive rattlesnake, marched up and down several rocky hills, stood in a patch of poison ivy, dug through a bunch of sand and got soaked when I tripped into a stream!’ Inspired by the story, the doctor said, ‘You must be one heck of an outdoorsman!’ ‘NAH,’ he replied, ‘I’m just a really crappy golfer.’
Bonus Joke
An elderly pastor was searching his closet for his collar before church one Sunday morning. In the back of the closet, he found a small box containing three eggs and 100 $1 bills. He called his wife into the closet to ask her about the box and its contents. Embarrassed, she admitted having hidden the box there for their entire 30 years of marriage. Disappointed and hurt, the pastor asked her, “Why?” The wife replied that she hadn’t wanted to hurt his feelings. He asked her how the box could have hurt his feelings. She said that every time during their marriage that he had delivered a poor sermon, she had placed an egg in the box. The pastor felt that three poor sermons in 30 years was certainly nothing to feel bad about, so he asked her what the $100 was for. She replied, “Each time I got a dozen eggs, I sold them to the neighbors for $1.”
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson
