Silly Joke #1
A man is dining in a fancy restaurant, and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He had been checking her out since he sat down, but lacked the nerve to talk with her. Suddenly she sneezes and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket towards the man. He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air, and hands it back. “Oh my, I am so sorry,” the woman says as she pops her eye back in place. “Let me buy you dessert to make it up to you.” They enjoy a wonderful dessert together, and afterwards, the woman invites him to the theater followed by drinks. After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap…and stay for breakfast the next morning. The next morning, she cooks a gourmet meal with all the trimmings. The guy is amazed! Everything has been incredible! “You know,” he said, “you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?” “No,” she replies…”You just happened to catch my eye…”
Silly Joke #2
An old cowboy sat down at the Starbucks and ordered a cup of coffee. As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him. She turned to the cowboy and asked, ‘Are you a real cowboy?’ He replied, ‘Well, I’ve spent my whole life breaking colts, working cows, going to rodeos, fixing fences, pulling calves, bailing hay, doctoring calves, cleaning my barn, fixing flats, working on tractors, and feeding my dogs, so I guess I am a cowboy.’ She said, ‘Sounds like you’re a real cowboy then! Well, I recently realized I’m a lesbian because I spend my whole day thinking about naked women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about naked women. When I shower, I think about naked women. When I watch TV, I think about naked women. It seems everything makes me think of naked women. After she got up and left, the cowboy remained there sipping his coffee in silence. A little while later, another man sat down next to him and asked, ‘Are you a real cowboy?’ Sounding quite concerned, he replied, ‘I always thought I was, but I just found out I’m a lesbian.’
Silly Joke #3
After being married for thirty years, a wife asked her husband to describe her. He looked at her for a while … then said, “You’re A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K.” She asks … “What the heck does that mean?” He said, “Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy, Gorgeous, and Hot”. She smiled happily and said … “Oh, that’s so lovely … What about I, J, K?” He said, “I’m Just Kidding”
Bonus Silly Joke
A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face and the egg is frowning and looking a bit pissed off. The egg mutters, to no-one in particular, “Well, I guess we answered THAT question!”
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson
