Silly Joke #1
At the Sunday morning church service, the minister asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express praise for answered prayers. A lady stood and walked to the podium. She said, “I’m Lois and I have a Praise. Two months ago, my husband, Tom, had a terrible bicycle crash and his scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was terrible and the doctors didn’t know if they could help him.” You could hear a muffled gasp from all the men in the congregation as they imagined the pain that poor Tom must have experienced. “Tom was unable to hold me or the children,” she went on, “and every movement caused him terrible pain. We prayed as the doctors performed a very delicate operation, which lasted for over five hours, and it turned out they were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Tom’s scrotum and wrap wire around it to hold it in place.” Again, the men in the congregation were unnerved and squirmed uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible surgery that was performed on Tom. “Now,” she announced in a quavering voice, “thank the Lord, after six weeks, Tom is now out of the hospital and the doctors say that with time, his scrotum should recover completely.” All the men sighed with relief. The minister rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had something to say. A man stood up and walked slowly to the podium. He said, “I’m Tom.” The entire congregation gasped again and held their breath. “Lois, the word was sternum NOT scrotum!”
Silly Joke #2
The first-grade teacher was showing pictures of animals to her students to see how many they could name. She held up a picture of a lamb, and a little girl said, “That’s a sheep!””That’s right!” said the teacher. “How about THIS one?” she said, holding up a picture of the king of beasts. “That’s a lion!” answered a little boy. “Right!” said the teacher. Then she held up a picture of a deer. No one volunteered an answer. She tried to help. “What does your mother call your father?” Johnny said, “I know! I know! It’s a lazy old goat!”
Silly Joke #3
A kindergarten student was having trouble putting on his boots, and asked his teacher for help. Even with her pulling and him pushing, the boots still didn’t want to go on. Finally, they got both boots on. She grimaced when the little boy said, “They’re on the wrong feet.”Sure enough, they were. The teacher kept her cool as together they worked to get the boots back on – this time on the correct feet. The little boy then announced, “These aren’t my boots.” The teacher sighed and pulled the boots off. The boy then said, “They’re my brother’s boots. My Mom made me wear them.” The teacher felt like crying, but she mustered up the strength to wrestle the boots back onto his feet. “Now,” she said, “Where are your mittens?” The boy replied, “I stuffed them in my boots….”
Bonus Silly Joke
A psychiatrist’s secretary walked into his study and said, “There’s a gentleman in the waiting room asking to see you. Claims he’s invisible.”The psychiatrist responded, “Tell him I can’t see him today.”
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson
Silly Jokes are delightful! Shalom ?
Yes they are! 🙂