During my weekly prison commitment where I am one of two people who bring in an Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) meeting every Monday night to those incarcerated, I was reminded by one of prisoners there why I continue to do live out the purpose of the Twelfth Step. This also ties back to the reason why I named my blog The Twelfth Step as well. As stated, the 12th Step says, “Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.”
When Bill Wilson and Dr. Bob Smith created the 12 Steps, the whole purpose was to recover from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body, by first going through the steps, and once completed, to start giving back to those still suffering from alcoholism. It was never meant to be a program that you just needed to make it through and simply graduate from. And no matter what 12 Step program you may ever find yourself in, the goal is the same, to recover from the disease of addiction and to then begin helping others.
Addiction in of itself is a very selfish and self-centered disease, where the only thing that matters to the addict is themselves and the substance of the addiction itself. When I first completed the 12 Steps back in 2008, I initially started doing exactly what the Twelfth Step says to do, to give back. Unfortunately, I allowed my ego to slowly begin to place other things as more important, and as I did, I began helping others less and less, until I fell straight back into addiction and its subsequent toxic behaviors. When I finally woke up again and realized the err of my ways, I vowed to spend the rest of my life living out the Twelfth Step, hence the reason why I named my blog what I did when I started it. That being said, going to my weekly prison commitment is one part of how I am living out the intention of this step.
There are times though that I grow weary of my Twelfth Step work, as sometimes it becomes a thankless job and totally frustrates me, especially when I see people I’m attempting to help do their best to tear me or my program down. But, thankfully, from time to time, someone or something comes along, that I choose to believe comes from the Grace of God, that reminds me why I fell in love doing Twelfth Step work in the beginning, and why I keep doing my best to live it one day at a time.
That very thing happened at this prison commitment last week when one of the guys there said during a very emotional moment, that if he had an hour to do anything he wanted in his life, he couldn’t imagine coming into a jail and spreading the AA message of experience, strength, and hope for free, yet was completely honored and grateful that we continue to do it week after week. He truly was appreciative of our presence there and made sure to let us know it was really helping him. I could really feel the genuineness from this man, and in that very moment, I received a huge recharge to my program, and left that evening with a great reminder of why I keep on living out the Twelfth Step.
So, if you happen to be someone who’s clean and sober from an addiction and gone through the 12 Steps at least once, yet are feeling a sense of lethargy in your program, I encourage you to consider looking to give back somewhere new in your life, as it will help to remove that feeling. Consider volunteering your time through sponsorship of another, or bringing a 12 Step meeting to someone in need, or doing anything where you are trying to carry the message of experience, strength, and hope you learned when you went through the steps, as that truly is the intention of the program and the Twelfth Step itself…
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson
