In July of 2017, when Shia LaBeouf was arrested for the first time and got charged with obstruction, disorderly conduct, and public drunkenness, I totally judged him. I said, “Oh, here’s another one of those spoiled-rich Hollywood elite acting out again because they can, because they know they’re only going to get a slap on the wrist!” That WAS how I truly felt about Shia LaBeouf…until I saw the movie he made about his life titled “Honey Boy”.
“Honey Boy” was an eye-opening film for me and one that was another perfect reminder that I shouldn’t ever judge anyone. The movie begins with the arrest of an actor named Otis (played by Lucas Hedges) who’s completely inebriated and mouthing off to the police from the back of a squad car as they drive him to jail. The viewer is then quickly transported back into time where they get introduced to the pre-teen version of Otis (played by Noah Jupe), just as he’s beginning to emerge into the popular actor he’s destined to become. It’s immediately apparent how very little young Otis ever gets the chance to be a kid and be himself due to the constant pressures from his overbearing father James (played by LaBeouf himself). It also doesn’t take long to see just how abusive and controlling his father really is, none of which Otis deserves. Ironically his father is also a convicted sex offender who’s really just trying to find his way back into the world and hoping to escape the stigma of being a convicted sex offender by way of the Hollywood success of Otis. In turn, watching young Otis do his best through his acting to earn his father’s approval is extremely heart-wrenching, especially when Otis begins to pick up some of his father’s negative traits along the way, like chain smoking. In the end, it’s pretty obvious why Otis becomes the rebellious adult he becomes, and as sad as this movie is, “Honey Boy” is still a very realistic portrayal of how an innocent youth can become such a self-destructive adult.
I have to give it to Shia LaBeouf for completely exposing the truth of his life, on why he becomes the way he is, through “Honey Boy”. On some level, learning about his father’s toxicity was very difficult for me, as it reminded me so much of my mother. I constantly vied for my mother’s approval more than not during my youth, always wanting her to just look at me one day and say “I love you son and am so proud of you!” But like Shia with his Dad, I never got that from my Mom, instead, I picked up most of her negative traits as I frequently sought her approval and never got it, by engaging in alcoholism and other addictions, falling into self-pity, and eventually becoming so self-absorbed that only my problems mattered to me in this world. Ultimately, I became a very self-destructive adult because of it, no different than LaBeouf, and in many ways, I’m still trying to find my way back from. So, yes, “Honey Boy” was a great reminder of my own upbringing and in seeing clearly how far I’ve come from the toxic person I once was. But even more importantly, I’m grateful that this film helped me to dispel the judgments I was holding onto against LaBeouf and a number of other famous people as well, who too have walked in similar painful childhood shoes like I once did, who eventually became such self-destructive adults because of it.
The fact is, most self-destructive adults, whether famous or completely invisible in this world to the vast majority, are often simply only the by-products of tragic upbringings where unconditional love was more than absent or never present at all…
I highly recommend “Honey Boy” and truly commend Shia LaBeouf for his courage and his transparency, something I wish more of us in this world would exhibit a lot more of…
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson
