Month: November 2019

Daily Reflection

“If you don’t love yourself, nobody will. Not only that, you won’t be good at loving anyone else. Loving starts with the self.” (Wayne Dyer)

I had a big realization recently and honestly, it’s been right in front of me the whole time, I just wasn’t ready to accept it. The realization came while I was a passenger in my partner’s vehicle the other day when I started nitpicking him having a ton of hair coming out of his earlobes. After asking him why he hadn’t taken care of it, I found myself getting heated. I mean of all things to get heated about, this definitely shouldn’t be one of them, right? Nevertheless, my actions started an argument, which led to him driving to the grocery store shortly thereafter, and me taking a hot shower where I silently hoped the water would somehow cleanse me of all the guilt and shame I felt inside over the things I said to my partner. It was at that very moment it finally hit me.

I don’t unconditionally love myself.

You see, if I did, I know something silly like my partner’s ear hair wouldn’t bother me one bit. Because the truth is that when one unconditionally loves themselves, they tend to see everyone and everything in a much more positive and accepting light. But if they don’t love themselves unconditionally, they tend to see the world as somewhat skewed, which in turn leads to quick judgments and negative criticism of others. Essentially, one’s lack of self-love usually leads to unloving behaviors towards others, like the nitpicking I’ve regularly done to my partner.

While I do unconditionally love a few parts of myself, especially my 12 Step recovery life, there are three parts of me that I very much struggle to unconditionally love and accept. The first is with my health issues. The second is with my sexuality. And the last is with my lack of employment.

Because I don’t unconditionally love and accept those parts of me, I know it’s leading to me slowly pushing those who unconditionally love me away little by little through my occasional unloving words and actions, such as the nitpicking of my partner. While it’s true that deep down I do profoundly love him and the few others I’ve drawn close to in life, I know that if I want to love ALL parts of them, I must learn to do that with me first. Because if I don’t, I know I’m going to risk losing having any type of beautiful connection to both them and me…

Dear God, I really struggle unconditionally loving myself. I know because of that it’s often led to me saying and doing unconditionally loving acts towards myself and others. I’m ready to fully embrace myself just as I am. Please guide and direct me to fully love all parts of myself, warts and all as they say. Amen.

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Silly Joke Friday

Silly Joke #1

A young lad’s father picked him up from school to take him to a dental appointment. Knowing the parts for the school play were supposed to be posted today, he asked his son if he got a part. The boy enthusiastically announced that he’d gotten a part. “I play a man who’s been married for twenty years.””That’s great, son. Keep up the good work and before you know it they’ll be giving you a speaking part…”, his father responded despondently.

Silly Joke #2

A kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they drew. She would occasionally walk around to see each child’s artwork. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, “I’m drawing God.” The teacher paused and said, “But no one knows what God looks like.” Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing the girl replied, “They will in a minute!”

Silly Joke #3

A couple had two little boys who were always getting into trouble. Their parents knew that if any mischief occurred in their village, their sons were probably involved. The boys’ mother heard that an elder in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her sons. The elder agreed, but asked to see them separately. So, the mother sent her youngest son first, in the morning. The elder, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the boy down and asked him sternly, “Where is God?” The boy’s mouth dropped open, but he made no response. So the elder repeated the question in an even sterner tone, “Where is God!!?” Again the wide-eyed boy made no attempt to answer. The elder raised his voice and bellowed, “WHERE IS GOD!?” The boy screamed and bolted from the room, ran directly home and dove into a closet, slamming the door behind him.
When his older brother found him hiding, he asked, “What happened?”The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, “We are in BIG trouble this time. God is missing, and they think WE did it!”

Bonus Silly Joke

“That’s a really great place to work!!!” shouted my 16-year-old brother after coming home from the first day of his first job. “I get two weeks paid vacation!!!” “I’m so glad,” said my mother. “Yeah,” added John. “And I can’t wait to find out where they send me!”

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Question Of The Day

In light of today being Thanksgiving, today’s question is…

What do you have most to be thankful for today in your life?

(And a bonus question -> What is your favorite part of the Thanksgiving meal?)

AND HAVE A HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYBODY!!!

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

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The Blessing And Curse Of Feeling Again In The World Of Sobriety And Recovery

It’s often said that one of the best gifts a sober and recovering life can bring a person is to feel again. But, ironically, it’s also said to be one of its greatest challenges too. The reality I’ve learned on the road to a healthy sober and recovering life is that both statements are indeed true, that “feeling” again can be both a blessing and a curse.

When I used to be deeply engaged in a number of different addictions, the whole reason was because I didn’t want to feel what was going on within me. For example, when I drank alcohol and did drugs for the years I did, it was to cover up my feelings surrounding my sexuality, getting abused, alcoholic parents, etc. And for those years I deeply engaged in an addiction that dealt with sex and love issues, it was so that I didn’t have to feel the emptiness, loneliness, and despair I constantly felt inside.

Every single addict I’ve ever met and gotten to know has struggled with this very same problem. They always fell deep into their addiction because they didn’t want to feel some aspect of their lives, whether it was over some childhood pain, or some trauma they went through later, or because they didn’t like who they saw in the mirror every day, or because of something bad they’d done in life, or due to some serious resentment they still carried, etc. At the core of every single person’s addiction is always something they don’t want to feel. So, on some level, an addiction becomes the main solution to not feeling some undesirable feeling.

But eventually when an individual finds sobriety and recovery from their addiction, the process naturally causes them to begin to feel again, which at first can feel quite wonderful. Things actually seem brighter. Friendships feel closer. Tears of joy tend to occur. Life starts to feel really good. Then reality sets in one day.

A terrible tragedy strikes. Serious financial issues arise. An awful break-up with a loved one occurs. A job is lost. A 4thStep inventory causes bad memories to surface. Etc. To the addict who’s avoided feeling for so long, who finally has begun to feel again, it all starts to not feel so good anymore. “Feeling” then begins to be associated with pain where the ego attempts to tell the addict that life in the addiction was far better.

The fact is, feeling pain on any level is never fun. It’s precisely why so many stay active in an addiction for much of their life. It’s easier in their mind to not feel whatever it is going on in their lives they don’t like, which is precisely why an addiction becomes their solution. But oddly enough, the deeper one falls into their addiction, the more the pain of doing it increases, thus causing one to feel pain anyway, which in turn leads to a greater desire to do the addiction, until it becomes a perpetual cycle of running from feeling anything.

I’ve had to feel an incredible amount of pain in my sobriety and recovery like the deaths of my parents, friends leaving my life, health issues, sponsees lashing out, harsh judgments from others, etc. None of it was easy or a pleasure to deal with. Yet in the same breath, I can say I’ve also had wonderful experiences in sobriety and recovery from being able to feel again, like being able to be there now for others in their difficult moments, developing deeply intimate friendships, and healthily grieving the losses of loved ones (including pets!) when they’ve happened.

So, yes, indeed, it can be both a blessing and a curse to feel again in a sober and recovering life. In the long run, I’d choose to feel any day over not feeling, because at least when I’m feeling, I know I still have a heart, something I didn’t know I still had or not when addiction ruled my life.

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Question Of The Day

Today’s question is…

What talent do you wish you had, but don’t, and maybe never will?

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

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Grateful Heart Monday

Welcome to Grateful Heart Monday, a time to reflect upon a slice of gratitude from my life, which for today is for a friend named Robb D., who truly has been an inspiration to me on many levels.

I originally had the pleasure of meeting Robb back in 2014 when both he and I first began serving on the hospital and institution committee for our local area of Alcoholics Anonymous. For a period of time, Robb and I shared a weekly commitment together at Rescue Crisis, the very same place I continue to volunteer even today.

From the onset, I noticed Robb and I couldn’t be any more different, yet I still admired his unique differences. He truly beats to his own drum and is one of those people who prides himself in that uniqueness, which might be the very reason why he and I have become pretty decent friends over the years, because the two of us, while opposite in personalities, stand out on our own against the grain more than not.

The most interesting thing I find about Robb is his love for being in nature. Every time I see that show “Naked and Afraid” advertised on television, I think of him because he’s definitely someone who could be dropped off in the middle of nowhere, with absolutely nothing, and I mean nothing, including no clothes, and he would survive with flying colors. You see, Robb is a master at hunting and fishing and has incredible survivalist skills. I really admire this trait in him because honestly, I need an electrical outlet when I go camping for my hairdryer! In all seriousness though, Robb is someone you’d want to be around if there ever was an end of the world situation. I half joke with him all the time about where I’d go if there ever was a zombie apocalypse.

Beyond Robb’s incredible outdoor skillset, he’s also someone who goes above and beyond the call of recovery duty day in and day out. He’s one of those people who will either call or text out of the clear blue, just to check in on you and make sure you’re ok, and then persist in reaching out until you respond letting him know all is well. He has such a good heart and cares far beyond a superficial level, although he may never outright come out and say that.

On a similar level of humility, Robb is also someone who never prays for himself. Instead, he prays for everyone else who’s in need and trusts that God will provide for the rest, including himself.

Speaking of God, he’s definitely gifted Robb in the area of cooking and preparing food. Beyond the amazingly huge vegetable garden that Robb grows in his backyard each year, he prepares his own meat that he hunts, makes his own spices and juices, and has the best hot peppers I’ve ever had, including a hot pepper spice mix that I now love using on so many things I eat at home.

And probably the biggest trait I admire in Robb is how he carries a level of physical pain that’s even higher than mine, but never lets it stop him from living his life. He regularly goes to the gym to workout, spends hours in a tree stand hunting, is constantly splitting wood, always hiking in nature for mushrooms, and on and on, never once complaining about his pain.

Lastly, and maybe admired just as equally as his ability to carry a high threshold for pain, I want to mention that Robb is also one of those guys you can call for a favor and he’ll do his best to be there for you. Whether it’s needing a ride somewhere, or the use of his truck to haul something, or simply needing a friend to talk to, or for getting coverage to lead a 12 Step recovery meeting, I have never known Robb to not do his best to be there for someone in need of help. Because this is just who Robb is.

Truly humble in spirit, a devout follower of God, someone who’s dedicated more to giving than taking, to loving more than hating, consistently looking on the bright side of things, I am proud to call Robb a close friend, a brother in my organization he’s now a part of (MKP), and a fellow sober companion.

Ultimately though, when it comes down to it, words of gratitude may not offer Robb the justice I feel he deserves, as the level of positive changes he’s made both within himself and in the world around him are beyond my own literary abilities.

The bottom line is that  I couldn’t be any prouder of the guy and can say without a shadow of a doubt that I am truly grateful for him in countless ways and for just being a part of my life, because his presence truly makes me a better person.

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Thought For The Day

Quote #1

“Sometimes the best type of intimacy is where you just lay back, laugh together at the stupidest things, hold each other, and enjoy each other’s company.” (Unknown)

Quote #2

“People think that intimacy is about sex. But intimacy is about truth. When you realize you can tell someone your truth, when you can show yourself to them, when you stand in front of them bare and their response is ‘You’re safe with me’ – THAT’S INTIMACY!” (Taylor Jenkins)

Quote #3

“Intimacy is not purely physical, it’s the act of connecting with someone so deeply, you feel like you can see into their soul.” (Unknown)

Bonus Quote

“Intimacy isn’t about who you let touch you. It’s more about things like sharing your dreams and fears with another, giving one person your undivided attention, making eye contact with the person your communicating with, becoming vulnerable by allowing a person to connect to a piece of your heart, and letting someone know how much they mean to you.” (Andrew Arthur Dawson)

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Learning The Difference Between Intimacy And Sex…

There’s a big difference between sex and intimacy, yet to an individual who gets molested early on in life, like I was at the age of 12, where my first experience with both happened during one tragic act, the wires became seriously crossed in my brain to where I couldn’t differentiate between the two.

Because of this, I spent the better part of two decades feeling that intimacy with someone, such as just being held, just meant the other person was only interested in having some form of sex with me. That unfortunately led to many complications with close friends who truly just wanted to show how much they cared about me whenever they showed me any signs of affection.

Unravelling this mess in my brain has definitely been a serious undertaking that’s for sure!

For the longest time I completely avoided dealing with this issue and opted to only allow a person I was dating to show me any form of intimacy. But recently, the Universe has abruptly moved me in a direction where I now find myself facing this issue head on.

It started a few years ago when I noticed my partner growing more uncomfortable with the closeness we had shared for the first few years of our relationship, i.e. prolonged bouts of holding hands, cuddling, or just regular acts of random affection. The result of this has been me feeling more and more unloved, because intimacy is a huge part of committed relationships, just as much as sex typically is as well.

Nevertheless, there are many forms of intimacy, some of which don’t even involve touch. Things like verbal intimacy where the listener pays close attention to something deep being shared by the other. Emotional intimacy where tears get shed during vulnerable moments of sharing, where no judgment occurs by the other, just silence and a nodding reassurance of understanding. Or spiritual intimacy, where one chooses to pray for the other. All of these have dwindled quite a bit in my relationship in the past few years, leaving me feeling frustrated and feeling unloved.

While my partner is working on this, it could take years for him to figure it all out. Heck, it took me a ton of years to figure much of it out myself. What has arisen out of all this has been many deep conversations between him and I on how I’m supposed to handle his present inability to show much of these levels of intimacy. In response, he’s encouraged me to pursue friendships where these elements are present, of which I have, especially as of late.

That in of itself has been challenging because, as I said, having someone touch me out of their unconditional love for me, screws with my brain’s programming which thinks sex is only going to follow suit. The only way I know how to work through this though is to keep allowing close friends and loved ones to show me their tokens of non-sexual affection, instead of constantly trying to prevent it from happening in the first place.

I just went through this the other night when a woman I know from the room of recovery took hold of my hand during a rough evening I had at a meeting we regularly attend together. She held it for a good five minutes, even though my brain was screaming at me to pull it away. Ironically, I felt a lot better after sticking through it.

The Universe has also seen fit to put a new friend in my life that is extremely affectionate. It’s certainly been a learning curve for me to allow that affection, but I must say when I do, it feels wonderful to be on the receiving end of it.

The bottom line is that I need to keep walking through my fears surrounding intimacy and remain open to it from wherever it comes, as the more I do, the more I know I’ll learn to separate intimacy and sex, two things that for far too long have gone hand-in-hand and never should of…

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Silly Joke Friday

Silly Joke #1

A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money. The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, “Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel. I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents. The next morning, I invested those ten cents in two apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them at 5:00 pm for 20 cents. I continued this system for a month, by the end of which I’d accumulated a fortune of $1.37. Then my wife’s father died and left us two million dollars!”

Silly Joke #2

Bill meets Doug shopping at the mall and sees he has a small gift wrapped box.”It’s my wife’s birthday tomorrow.” Doug said. “Last week I asked her what she wanted for her birthday.””And???” Bill asked.”Well, she said ‘Oh, I don’t know just give me something with diamonds in it’.””So what did you get her?” asked Bill. “I bought her a deck of cards!!”

Silly Joke #3

The husband says to his wife, “You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?”  She says, “When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.”He smirks and replies, “You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?”
She calmly replies, “Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, ‘What other problem can there be greater than this one?'”

Bonus Silly Joke

Two men were talking. “So, how’s your sex life?”
“Oh, nothing special. I’m having Social Security sex.”
“Social Security sex?”
“Yeah, you know, I get a little each month, but not enough to live on.”

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Thought For The Day

Quote #1

“It is our duty to love the unloved, help the helpless, and bring hope to the hopeless.” (Anthony Douglas)

Quote #2

“One remedy for the fear of not being loved is to remember how good it feels to love someone. If you’re feeling unloved and you want to feel better, go love someone, and see what happens.” (Dossie Easton)

Quote #3

“Run after the hurting, go after the broken, the addicted, those that have messed up, that society has written off. Go after them with love, with mercy, with the goodness of God.” (Joel Osteen)

Bonus Quote

“I was hungry but you would not feed me, thirsty but you would not give me a drink, a stranger but you would not welcome me in your homes, naked but you would not clothe me, sick and in prison but you would not take care of me. Then they will answer him, ‘When Lord did we ever see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and we would not help you?’ The King will reply, ‘I tell you, whenever you refused to help one of these least important ones, you refused to help me.” (Matthew 25:42-45)

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

To Heal The Broken…

Time and time again, the biggest reason why I see people falling into any sort of addiction is because their heart is closed off from receiving love and subsequently, they tend to feel unloved in this world because of it. The fact is addiction then becomes a great numbing tool for those who have closed off their hearts and constantly live feeling unloved.

I know this first hand because I lived that way for most of my life. It took me a long time to reopen my heart to the level it is now, but with that comes a great burden at times because it’s often led to me getting hurt. Yet, in the same breath, it’s also been quite rewarding as well. Case in point, in the jail meeting I run each week on Monday nights, I recently met a 19-year-old kid who confessed he can’t stop doing Percocet’s and wanted to know how he’s ever going to stop. Instead of going through the usual, “when the pain becomes great enough” spiel, or suggesting going to meetings, getting a sponsor, and doing the 12 Steps, I felt compelled to ask him about his childhood. He angrily began talking about his drug addicted mother and how his father supplied her with those drugs. When I asked if he ever felt loved by either of them, his quick response was a resounding “no.”

While I didn’t know this guy whatsoever before that meeting, I knew exactly how he felt, because that’s how I grew up. As he told me the story of his passion for wrestling and how he was never quite good enough in his parents’ eyes, no matter how hard he tried to succeed in the sport he loved, I could see the anger swelling within him. It was then I looked directly in his eyes, in front of a dozen other inmates sitting around me, and said “I am so proud of you for your honesty and your desire to change, and I want you to know that I love you and you deserve to be loved. And this is the very reason why you remain broken and choose to live in your addiction day after day.” As soon as I said that, he went from being totally angry to totally crying, because I had successfully guided him to the very source of what keeps leading him back to his addiction, that being his broken childhood.

Whatever the addiction, the reality is that deep down there is a broken part of us somewhere within that keeps leading us to engage in an addiction to numb us from that part of ourselves. In this case, this 19-year-old inmate had grown up not loving himself at all because of never having been unconditionally loved to start with.

People always ask me why I do this recovery work as much as I do, and why I get so personal. Well, ultimately, it’s because I’ve learned we’re all broken somehow, especially those of us who are addicts in this world. And deep down within us is a little boy or girl who just wants to feel loved and not broken anymore.

So, it’s my hope to continuing being this vessel to help mend the broken, especially in the world of addiction. There I will keep planting those seeds of unconditional love with one goal in mind, to bring greater light into the darkness of a broken heart and soul to show them that someone out there truly does give a damn about themselves, until they can give a damn about themselves and walk the path along my side of sobriety and recovery.

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Grateful Heart Monday

Welcome to Grateful Heart Monday, a time for being thankful for someone or something in my life that has truly given me gratitude, which for today is for a server from an IHOP here in Toledo who provided me a wonderful blessing I really needed to hear.

I don’t go to IHOP all that often, and usually when I do it’s to get some of their harvest grain and nut pancakes, which are my favorite type of pancakes anywhere. Upon arriving there a few weeks ago, the server who sat us was super friendly and allowed my friend and I to sit in a room that technically was closed for the evening, but upon me asking for privacy, he allowed it. As I sat there looking over the menu, I noticed him occasionally staring at me. When I finally made eye contact, he asked if I had once worked for Rescue Crisis, which is a detox center here in Toledo. I told him that I’ve been volunteering there on Wednesday’s and run a 12 Step recovery meeting for addiction for the past four years. He then said, “I thought it was you and I want you to know that what you deeply affected me, so much so, that it was because of it I finally got sober and have remained that way ever since for 20 months now.”

After hearing that, I thought I was going to cry. So many times, I have told my story to those in addiction crisis, in jails and institutions and many other places too, but rarely have I ever gotten to see what happens to each of those recovery seeds after I’ve planted them. Most often actually, I get to see the same people coming back again and again with one relapse after another, never quite getting it. Yet this server totally got it…and it came through simply by sharing my experience, strength, and hope with him like I’ve done countless times over the life of my recovery work.

So, I am so thankful to God for bringing me this invaluable reminder that even when I see next to no results from my day to day recovery work and instead, more often than not, see one relapse and death after another, that indeed there is a seed I planted somewhere that has beautifully sprouted, all because of continuing to do this work one day at a time and leaving the rest up to God.

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

 

Thought For The Day

Quote #1

“When I ask God to direct my path, I have to accept the closed doors as His will too.” (Melissa Norris)

Quote #2

“When the door closes on you, it’s because life knows you deserve better…and if were really knew our worth, we would close the door ourselves.” (S.C. Lourie)

Quote #3

“When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.” (Alexander Graham Bell)

Bonus Quote

“Whenever a door has closed behind me, God has ALWAYS led me to a better place, a place I would never have gone had it not been for a ‘closed door’. Trust God. He simply longs to take you from good to better and from better to best. Every. Single. Time.” (Stacy L. Sanchez)

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Daily Reflection

“Sometimes God makes better choices for us than we could have ever made for ourselves.” (Jennifer Hudson)

Many times I’ve sent messages to “friends” on Facebook from my local area whom I’ve thought seemed like pretty interesting people from the many things they’ve posted. I’ve often asked if they wanted to meet up for a coffee or dinner sometime, as I’m always looking to expand my circle of friendships. Plenty of times I’ve received responses they’d be down for that and would get back to me, yet just as often I never hear back from them again, even when I’ve attempted to reach out a few times.

I’ve gotten so frustrated when this has happened, with the lack of integrity of people not getting back to me, yet I realized quite recently that maybe God keeps doing for me what I can’t do for myself, which is keeping doors closed that don’t need to be opened, to people that maybe aren’t in alignment with my Highest Good and spiritual goals?

My partner has often told me that I’ve made far too many attempts to connect with people he has deemed as unhealthy for me and maybe he’s right. Which quite possibly is the very reason why God might be helping to keep doors closed to people I attempt to friend.

In the same breath, it also seems that God has made room for various doors to open to new friendships as well, as has been the case with two new individuals in recent months. Both have come to appreciate my quirkiness and intensity and both have helped to bring some humor back into my life, something I so desperately have needed and wanted.

In light of that, this is why I tend to believe that God probably has a lot more involvement in our lives when we let Him, as had been evident since asking God to not allow people to become a part of my life anymore if they’re only going to lead me away from my Highest Good.

Overall, to my ego it’s been quite humbling seeing more doors close or ones that never get opened, than seeing doors get opened. But to my Spirit, well, let’s just say I’ve been thankful for those God has allowed to enter my life, because they’ve truly blessed my spiritual journey thus far in a lot of ways, something I’m guessing wouldn’t have happened to many of the attempts I’ve made to start new friendships that never went anywhere.

Dear God, thank you for all the doors you helped to close that I attempted to keep open with friends, both new and old, that in the end probably wouldn’t have been for my Highest Good. And thank you for the few doors you have allowed to either open or remain open with friends, as each of those have truly blessed my life beyond measure.

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Silly Joke Friday

Silly Joke #1

A contestant on “Who Wants to be a Millionaire?” had reached the final plateau. If she answered the next question correctly, she would win $1,000,000. If she answered incorrectly, she would pocket only the 32,000-milestone money. And as she suspected it would be, the million-dollar question was no pushover. It was, “Which of the following species of birds does not build its own nest, but instead lays its eggs in the nests of other birds? Is it A) the condor; B) the buzzard; C) the cuckoo; or D) the vulture?” The woman was on the spot. She did not know the answer. And she was doubly on the spot because she had used up her 50/50 Lifeline and her Audience Poll Lifeline. All that remained was her Phone-a-Friend! Lifeline. The woman hoped she would not have to use it because … her friend was, well … blond. She had no alternative. She called her friend and gave her the question and the four choices. The blonde responded unhesitatingly: “That’s easy. The answer is C: The cuckoo.” The contestant had to make a decision now and make it fast. She considered employing a reverse strategy and giving Regis any answer except the one that her friend had given her. And considering that her friend was a blonde, that would seem to be the logical thing to do. On the other hand – the blonde had responded with such confidence, such certitude, that the contestant could not help but be persuaded. I need an answer,” said Regis. Crossing her fingers, the contestant said, “C: The cuckoo.” “Is that your final answer?” asked Regis. “Yes, that is my final answer.” Two minutes later, Regis said, “That answer is … absolutely correct! You are now a millionaire!” Three days later, the contestant hosted a party for her family and friends including the blonde who had helped her win the million dollars. “Jenny, I just do not know how to thank you! ,” said the contestant. “How did you happen to know the right answer?” “Oh, come on,” said the blonde. “Everybody knows that cuckoos don’t build nests. They live in clocks.”

Silly Joke #2

After 35 years of marriage, a husband and wife came for counseling. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the years they had been married. On and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of unmet needs she had endured. Finally, after allowing this for a sufficient length of time, the therapist got up, walked around the desk and after asking the wife to stand, he embraced and kissed her long and passionately as her husband watched – with a raised eyebrow. The woman shut up and quietly sat down as though in a daze. The therapist turned to the husband and said, ‘This is what your wife needs at least 3 times a week. Can you do this?’ ‘Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I golf.’

Silly Joke #3

A guy is dating three women and can’t decide which one to marry. He gives each $1,000 to see how well they can manage money. The first one spends $800 and puts $200 in the bank. The second one spends $200 and puts $800 in the bank. The third one puts the whole $1,000 in the bank. Which one does he end up marrying? The one with the biggest boobs.

Bonus Silly Joke

A little old man starts having trouble hearing and goes to the doctor…..says. “Doc, I’m having problems hearing!”Doctor says “Lets check this out.” Looks into the man’s ear with his flash light and says, “There’s a foreign object in here.” Takes his tweezers and pulls it out…….Doc says to the old man, “It’s a suppository!!” The old man takes a look, asks the Doc, “Can I use your phone?? Need to tell the wife that I know where I put that hearing aid!!”

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Thought For The Day

Quote #1

“If you trade your authenticity for safety, you may experience the following: anxiety, depression, eating disorders, addiction, rage, blame, resentment, and inexplicable grief.” (Brene Brown)

Quote #2

“Resentment is like a drug. Once you pick it up, it will only get worse until you surrender and do the work to let it go.” (Samantha Leahy)

Quote #3

“The word resentment means to re-feel…to feel again. Someone who wrongs or wounds you; in resenting it, you re-feel the injury. And you re-hurt yourself. The Hebrew Talmud says that a person who bears a grudge is “Like one who, having cut one hand while handling a knife avenges himself by stabbing the other hand.” (Norman Vincent Peale)

Bonus Quote

“Self-love is found in letting go of resentments about things that do no even matter.” (Etel Leit)

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Daily Reflection

“The Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you everything and make you remember all that I have told you.” (John 14:26)

When a dear friend of mine recently chose to step out of my life, I initially wrote a scathing article that was meant to post today, one that upon its completion a week ago, my ego had felt completely satisfied. Yet, something else from deep within me didn’t.

For a week, as that article sat in its “scheduled” status on my blog, a small voice within ultimately led me to pray during which I asked God to provide me some guidance and direction surrounding this friend and that article. I told God that if this friend contacted me in any fashion prior to when the article was to post, that I would take it as a sign it wasn’t meant to be published. When I abruptly one afternoon received a text message from this friend offering me compassion and condolences to the recent loss of my cat, I knew I had my answer and subsequently kept my promise by removing the original article. While I know it was the Spirit that was convicting me before I even prayed for the guidance that led me to doing this, I’m just thankful to have received an answer to my prayer to show me the Great Helper was right all along.

What I pray for now is for God to mend any disconnect and hurt between this friend and I as I do love them dearly and care deeply for them. In the meantime, I’m choosing to be still and trust my Spirit that these words are far better and far more loving than my original article, something I believe Christ would be proud of me for, having listened to my Inner Guidance, and not my ego.

Dear God, I thank you for having the Holy Spirit within me. I know there have been plenty of times I haven’t listened to it and seen the negative consequences that came as a result. Help me to always go to that Inner Guidance and trust the direction I get from It is going to be far better than anything my ego ever tends to provide me.

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Question Of The Day

Today’s question is…

What is the most unique thing a pet of yours ever did?

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

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Grateful Heart Monday

Welcome to Grateful Heart Monday where each week begins with a slice of gratitude, which for today is for the three years I got to spend with my cat Smokey and all the great memories I have of him before his sudden passing a week ago.

As I mentioned in my last article, my cat Smokey abruptly passed recently when a urinary issue he’s had ever since birth caused a complication that led to his bladder bursting. While I am saddened by the unexpected loss of what I feel to be the most unconditionally loving animal I’ve ever been around, I have much to be grateful for from the brief time I had with Smokey.

From the onset, Smokey bonded with me, and on many levels, kind of acted like a dog. He always wanted a sample of anything I consumed (especially whipped cream and blue cheese!), would chase after these small little furry balls wherever I’d throw them and then return them at my feet waiting for me to throw them again, he’d consistently roll over on his back when I called him this silly name, “Klitty Klaty”, at the top of my lungs, he’d race after me around the house any time I exploded down the hallway making whooshing noises, he liked me giving him belly rubs on my lap facing me, and loved going up to every guest in our house to get some ear scratches. It’s funny how they say dogs are the most loyal companions, but Smokey, in my opinion, proved that maybe cats can be too.

Smokey was a great healer in many ways too. He constantly knew when I was having a high pain-filled day, as he’d follow me around until I laid down somewhere, at which point he’d then curl up between my legs, begin purring, and fall asleep, which generally did help me to feel better. He also did his best to distract me with playtime as well whenever I hurt, which usually led to me laughing and feeling much better because of it. And I mustn’t forget how he was a great mirror for some of my character defects like my OCD, as for example when I was staring in the bathroom mirror too long, he’d remain outside the door incessantly grooming himself almost as if showing me how silly I was being.

Another unique trait that I became very grateful for as well with Smokey was him sitting in our bedroom window waiting until I got home each night, at which point he’d race to the front door and meow as soon as I walked in. And whenever I did any type of outside work, he’d remain standing by one of the opened doors watching me until I came back in. Smokey also loved sunning himself on either my partner Chris’s lap or mine in the driveway, which is the one thing I know Chris is going to miss the most, as they usually spent hours doing that in the warmer months.

Smokey also loved to be flown around the house in the laundry basket while I yelled “Super Kitty” and liked swatting in fun at my hand while I pretended to be a bee buzzing around him. Oddly enough, I could also pick up his small tufts of hair anywhere around the house and hold it way high up in the air, where he’d meow repeatedly until I let it go, at which point he’d jump up to catch it and promptly consume it! And something I know my partner was extremely grateful for, as was I, was our house remaining free from most spiders and other insects because of Smokey enjoying eating them whenever he saw them. Oh, and I can’t forget that Smokey even liked to play hide and go seek with me from time to time as well.

While it’s painful to think he’s really gone in such a short period of time, I have so much to be grateful for when it comes to Smokey. A trusted companion who constantly remained by my side and taught me how important it is to show unconditional love to everyone and to balance that with taking care of oneself, especially when hurting.

I truly will miss peaking around those corners in my house, barely making eye contact with Smokey, hearing him let out a few small squeaks almost as if saying “I see you!” I miss you plenty already and thank God for the gift I had with you for those three beautiful years. You definitely left me with much to be grateful for when it comes to you Smokey and know I will always love you.

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Thought For The Day

Quote #1

“Whenever I am missing you, I also remember how fortunate I was that you were in my life. I wouldn’t trade those moments for the world.” (Unknown)

Quote #2

“It is foolish and wrong to mourn those who died. Rather we should thank God that such people lived.” (George S. Patton)

Quote #3

“Grief is the last act of love we can give to those we loved. Where there is deep grief there was great love.” (Unknown)

Bonus Quote

“Until one has loved an animal, a part of one’s soul remains unawakened.” (Anatole France)

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

“The Lord Giveth And The Lord Taketh Away…”

I, like I’m sure so many others often do, tend to question why God lets loved ones die by unnatural causes and tragic circumstances. This past year I lost two good friends to drug overdoses, one was in his mid 50’s and the other in his mid 30’s. I also lost a very dear friend of more than two decades to an immune system failure, and just the other day my 4-year-old cat Smokey abruptly died due to his bladder bursting from a urethra blockage.

When my cat left in the carrier that morning to head to the vet from not being able to pass urine for almost 12 hours, I had prayed and prayed and laid hands on him, asking God to help him. Little did I know that the help would be to put him out of his pain permanently a mere hour later. At first when my partner returned home to tell me the terrible news, I was shocked and wanted to believe it was all a joke somehow. Smokey had been my rock over the past three years, constantly bringing me comfort whenever I was hurting from my health issues. How could God have taken him away when I needed him the most? Why would God do such a thing? Was this really the answer to all my desperate pleas and prayers I had done that morning and all the prior evening when Smokey had started not feeling well?

At that precise moment my partner had told me this heartbreaking news and stared at me in tears, all I could think of was that King James verse from Job 1:21 that said “The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away” and believe me, it did nothing to comfort me. I’ve struggled in recent times to find comfort in reading the bible, having suffered for far too long.

As I thought about that passage, my anger began to consume me. I then pondered all the other awful deaths I went through this year and felt my physical pain overwhelming me, when suddenly I started cursing my existence just like Job once did with all the loss he went through.

I really wanted to take a drink or do a drug or act out in some serious addiction, just to numb the hurt, the pain, and the loss of the only thing I had in my life that represented 100% unconditional love. Not once did Smokey ever treat me poorly.

Thankfully, I kept all my sobriety and went out that afternoon and evening with a rapidly growing friendship to a guy named Mike while my partner decided to distract himself with his schoolwork. Mike has been such a blessing for me in a number of ways, including being able to make me laugh pretty easily, which normally doesn’t come that easily. After a few hours of hanging out with him over a meal, a coffee, and a drive, I felt much better and was far less self-piteous. It’s then I began coming into a greater place of acceptance.

The thought crossed my mind that if my partner and I had proceeded down the path we were considering that morning, that being to get immediate surgery to correct Smokey’s urinary condition he was born with, there was a very good chance it could create a long road of heavy vet expenditures, as we were told. For a guy like me with no job and no steady income, and a partner who supports the both of us, maybe indeed God saw best to take Smokey from this plane to save many expenses, headaches, and anguish? Whatever the reason why it was Smokey’s time though, I also had acceptance that he was at least no longer in pain. I had watched him countless times over the last three years sit in his kitty litter, sometimes for more than 10 minutes, desperately trying to pass urine.

So, in the end, I accepted that even if Smokey’s passing had nothing to do with God wanting my partner and I to avoid paying high vet bills in the future for his health, that God must have had a reason that was for the greater good for both Smokey and us. Accepting that made his passing much easier to deal with and ironically even helped to appreciate that biblical verse, even if it took me a good number of hours to get there, when I finally could say it really is ok that “The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away” because in the end, it ultimately is.

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Silly Joke Friday

WHAT GOES THROUGH A CAT’S MIND DURING THEIR WEEK:

Monday – My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the satisfaction from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.

Tuesday – Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to throw up on their favorite chair…must try this on their bed.

Wednesday – Slept all day so that I could annoy my captors with sleep depriving, incessant pleas for food at ungodly hours of the night.

Thursday – Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was…Hmmm. Not working according to plan……

Friday – I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called ‘shampoo.’ What sick minds could invent such a liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.

Saturday – There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they call ‘beer.’ More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of ‘allergies.’ Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

Sunday – I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The Bird on the other hand has got to be an informant. He has mastered their frightful tongue (something akin to mole speak) and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time.

BONUS SILLY JOKE

Breaking News: A cement mixer and a prison bus crashed on the highway…Police advise citizens to be on the lookout for a group of hardened criminals!!!

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Question Of The Day

Today’s question is…

What is something you truly are quite stubborn about in life right now and unwilling to change your viewpoint on it?

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

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“When The Pain Becomes Great Enough…”

It’s easy to say when one is hurting and, in a jail, or a detox, due to alcohol or drugs or some other addiction, that they’re ready to do whatever it takes to get sober. Why? Because in places like these the pain always feels great enough to say things like that. But what happens when they’re no longer in that jail or no longer in that detox? Sadly, most don’t tend to feel that way anymore.

Week in and week out I meet so many during my commitments at a local jail and a local detox where I hear plenty of sad stories with addiction at their source. Stories of burglaries. Stories of domestic violence. Stories of being homeless. Stories of getting abused. Stories of illness. Stories of abandonment. Stories of loss of kids. So many sad stories!!! Yet, I can’t count the number of times I’ve given my number out at these commitments to people with these sad stories where they look me straight in the eyes and tell me they’re going to get it right this time once they get released. I’ve even had a rare few go so far as to call me as soon as they do get released to make plans to get together with me, but save the rare exception or two, none have ever followed through. Why?

Because the pain wasn’t great enough…

At the source of ALL who find recovery from ALL forms of addiction is one common denominator. That their pain became great enough to do whatever it took to get sober and find a healthy path of recovery. Being in a jail or detox though, while the pain there might be great enough initially, especially in those depressing environments, the sad reality is that once they walk out those doors and are free to do whatever they wish, the idea of going to a 12 Step meeting, or sitting down with a potential sponsor like me, or going into some type of recovery program doesn’t usually seem all that alluring.

Rather, the addict brain tends to take over, pushing them straight back into their addiction, and quite frequently within the first few hours of release at that!!! I often believe that any human in some form of captivity will say just about anything to free themselves from being in an unwanted environment. But with freedom also comes the harshness of the world where the addict brain says I don’t want to experience that harshness, which is precisely what leads straight back into their world of addiction.

Over and over this pattern will continue where I’ve seen people go from the streets to detoxes and back to the streets and back to the detoxes and maybe throw in a few jail sentences in between, never once getting more than a few days sober here and there, until finally, one day, something big happens, something usually pretty tragic, that finally shakes them up enough, to do what it takes, and that’s exactly when the pain becomes great enough for them to do the work to get sober once and for all.

My pain became great enough the first time around when I was drinking and drugging so much that I wasn’t drawing any sober breaths anymore, all because I was covering up my sexuality and didn’t want to be gay. My pain became great enough a second time around at a much deeper level when I lost a seven-year relationship and realized money had become my addiction, yet it wasn’t fixing my problems anymore. And finally, my pain became great enough a third and final time around at such a deep level because I had let sex and love addiction behaviors corrupt my soul.

I don’t want my pain to become great enough a fourth time around, because I’m not sure I could survive that type of pain or even find my way back into my 12 Step recovery again. That’s why I do as much as I do in the world of recovery now and it’s why I’ll keep on telling my story at those jail commitments and those detox commitments. Because there, I know I’m planting seeds of recovery for God, where one day, when the pain becomes great enough, those seeds will sprout, leading them into the rooms of recovery, hopefully once and for all.

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Question Of The Day

Today’s question is…

Can you name something that you put forth great effort toward for at least a year or more that finally came to fruition and was a total success?

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

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Grateful Heart Monday

Time for another Grateful Heart Monday entry where sharing gratitude is always the name of the game, which for today is for Phi Kappa Psi, Kappa Delta, and Alpha Xi Delta from the University of Toledo, three Greek organizations that put forth an incredible effort to bring about a speaking engagement for me on addiction and recovery that ended up being a great success on a number of levels.

How this came about began almost two years ago now, when I started providing alcohol and drug recovery education to all the nursing classes of a teacher from the University of Toledo (UT). During one of them, I had the pleasure of meeting the then president (Casey) of a sorority named Kappa Delta. While she was on the tail end of her schooling to get her degree, she was so impressed with my 12 Step recovery lead that she asked me to do another presentation for her fellow sisters at her chapter house. That in turn later led to me meeting the president of the Phi Kappa Psi fraternity at UT where I’d eventually also do a lead for their brothers as well. Somewhere along the way, both Greek chapters asked how open I’d be to doing a speaking engagement for the rest of the Greek organizations on campus, as well as for the rest of the campus in general, which of course I was more than open to doing. For me, any way I can ever get the message of recovery out there, especially for alcohol and drugs, is a huge plus.

So, for a good year, much planning went into putting together this speaking engagement and thanks to Matt from Phi Kappa Psi, Alex from Kappa Delta, and Shelby from Alpha Xi Delta, it all came together on Friday October 25that the Snyder Memorial Auditorium on UT’s campus at 12pm. During the course of two hours, I shared my story from addiction to recovery, had a Q&A session, was interviewed by a member of the staff from the UT television station, and listened to a few Kappa Delta sisters share some valuable alcohol and drug statistics. The response for those in attendance was more than favorable. Many asked for my contact information afterwards and were interested in me doing 12 Step leads for their organizations in the future.

I was blessed that day to see my therapist (Linda) show up to support me, as well as the boyfriend (David) of one of my sponsees (Tricia). Blessed that each of those in attendance paid attention the entire time and didn’t spend it immersed in their cell phones. Blessed that a few personally spoke to me about the pain of family members in their lives who are struggling with addiction. Blessed for the monetary donation I received for all my efforts. And blessed that God continues to use me to share my story of experience, strength, and hope for others to benefit. Because I know that I am planting a seed in each and every person each time I share my journey from addiction to recovery, and in the process, hopefully doing my part to bringing greater light and hope into this world in an area that most definitely needs it.

So, thank you God and thank you Matt, Alex, and Shelby, Linda and David, Phi Kappa Psi, Kappa Delta, and Alpha Xi Delta, for making all this possible and for helping me to continue doing something that I love doing because in the end, there was plenty to be grateful for from doing this presentation!

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Thought For The Day

Quote #1

“Someday, everything will make perfect sense. So for now, laugh at the confusion, smile through the tears, be strong and keep reminding yourself that everything happens for a reason.” (John Mayer)

Quote #2

“I believe everything happens for a reason. People change so you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you can appreciate them when they’re right. You believe lies so that you will eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes, good things fall apart so better things can fall together. (Marilyn Monroe)

Quote #3

“I trust that everything happens for a reason even if we are not wise enough to see it.” (Oprah Winfrey)

Bonus Quote

“Do you believe that there are no coincidences in life, that everything happens for a reason? Maybe every person we meet has a roll in our life, either big or small. Some may hurt, betray and even make us cry, but all are meant to teach us lessons, not necessarily to purposely change us, but to make us be a better person.” (Andrew Arthur Dawson)

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Daily Reflection

“You have to think there’s a reason for everything. When a door closes another door opens.” (Chris Daughtry)

I was pumped. The weekend retreat my sponsee Michael was about to go on was finally upon him. This being the very same retreat I went on 20 years ago for a spiritual organization that has completely changed my life, enough so that my passion for it has convinced many over the years to go on it as well, including Michael. On the night before his was to begin, we spoke on the phone where I wished him well and told him I’d speak to him on the other side. I could hear the excitement in his voice. The next afternoon, just about the time he was supposed to be arriving at his retreat, my phone rang, it was him. Wondering if he had a last-minute question to ask me, I picked up, only to find out his girlfriend had just gotten into a pretty serious accident. Sadly, he had to abruptly cancel his participation on the retreat because of it and said he hoped to go on one in the very near future.

While I supported his decision because it was the right thing to do, to be there for his girlfriend who got pretty banged up, I instantly became mad at God. Mad that He had let this accident happen when He knew how much Michael wanted to go on this retreat. And mad because I know He knew Michael has been looking for some much-needed guidance and direction in life, especially as of late.

I’m quite sure everyone has experienced this at some point or another in life, where they suddenly saw their spiritual path diverted due to some type of emergency that arose in their life.

As I sat there and pondered why God allowed this, it hit me. Maybe the retreat Michael was meant to be on with the specific guidance and direction he needs wasn’t going to happen during this one? Maybe the piece of spiritual work he was going to do on the retreat wouldn’t have gotten achieved for his highest potential there? Knowing each of this organization’s retreats gets different leaders and different staff, I started to see that maybe God saw a better path for Michael beyond my limited ego’s perception of the matter.

The truth is, maybe everything really does happen for a reason, that this door needed to be closed for another one to open, the best one for Michael, one that only God could see. After I came to acceptance of that, I must say I felt a whole lot better…

Dear God, I know it’s quite easy to get upset at You when life doesn’t go our way, when something we’re looking forward to in our life or in another’s ends up having to change because something else suddenly alters the course of things. Help us to accept that everything happens for a reason and that when one door closes, another one opens, and when it does, it’s typically one that will bring us close to our Highest Potential that only You can see…

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Silly Joke Friday

Silly Joke #1

Morris is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker, Joe, is wearing an earring. This man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in “fashion sense.” “Hey Joe, he yells out – I didn’t know you were into earrings.” “Don’t make such a big deal out of it,…it’s only an earring.” Says Joe sheepishly. “No really,” probes Morris, “How long have you been wearing one?” “Ever since my wife found it in our bed.”

Silly Joke #2

A bright young executive had just been hired as the new CEO of a large high-tech firm. The CEO who was stepping down met with him privately and handed him three numbered envelopes. “Open these if you run up against a problem you don’t think you can handle,” he said. Well, things went along pretty smoothly, but six months later, sales took a nosedive and he was really catching a lot of heat from the board. At wit’s end, he remembered the envelopes. He went to his drawer and took out the first envelope. The message read, “Blame your predecessor.” The new CEO called a press conference and tactfully laid the blame at the feet of the previous CEO. Satisfied with his comments, the board, the press, and Wall Street responded positively, sales picked up, stock prices rose and the problem was soon behind him. About a year later, the company was again experiencing a slight dip in sales, combined with serious problems getting new product to market. Having learned from his previous experience, the CEO wasted no time in opening the second envelope. The message read, “Reorganize.” This he did, and again the company quickly rebounded. After several consecutive profitable quarters, the company once again fell on difficult times. The CEO went to his office, closed the door and opened the third envelope. The simple message said, “Prepare three envelopes…”

Silly Joke #3

A man awoke one evening to discover prowlers in his storage shed. He immediately called 911, gave his address, to report the prowlers and possible burglary. The operator at the other end said “Are they in your house?” He said they were not, only in his storage shed in back of the house. The operator said there were no cars available at that time. He thanked the operator, hung up the phone and counted to 30 and called again. “I just called you about prowlers in my storage shed. Well you do not have to worry, as I just shot them all dead!” Within seconds there were 3 police cars, an ambulance and fire engine at the scene. After capturing the prowlers red-handed, the policeman asked the caller, “I thought you said you had shot them all!” The man answered, “I thought you said there were no police available!”

Bonus Silly Joke

A nun was going to Chicago. She went to the airport and sat down, waiting for her flight. She looked over in the corner and saw one of those weight machines that tells your fortune. So, she thought to herself, “I’ll give it a try just to see what it tells me.” She went over to the machine and put her nickel in and out came a card that said, “You’re a nun. You weigh 128 lbs., and you are going to Chicago, Illinois.” She sat back down and thought about it. She told herself it probably tells everyone the same thing, but decided to try it again. She put her nickel in, and out came a card that read, “You’re a nun. You weigh 128 lbs. You’re going to Chicago, Illinois, and you are going to play a fiddle.” The nun said to herself, “I know that’s wrong. I have never played a musical instrument a day in my life.” She sat back down. From out of nowhere, a cowboy came over and set his fiddle case down next to her. The nun picked up the fiddle and started playing beautiful music. Startled, she look back at the machine and said, “This is incredible! I’ve got to try it again! Back to the machine she went, put her nickel in, and another card came out. It said, “You’re a nun, you weigh 128 lbs., you’re going to Chicago, Illinois, and you’re going to break wind.” Now, the nun knew the machine was wrong. “I’ve never broken wind in public in my whole life!” Just then, she tripped, fell off the scales and broke wind. Stunned, she sat back down and looked at the machine. She said to herself, “This is truly unbelievable! I’ve got to try it one more time.” She went back to the machine, put her nickel in and collected the card. It said, “You’re a nun, you weigh 128 lbs., you have fiddled and farted around and missed your flight to Chicago!!!”

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson