Month: May 2020

Thought For The Day

Quote #1

“That is the definition of faith – acceptance of that which we imagine to be true, what which we cannot prove.” (Dan Brown)

Quote #2

“Faith is the confidence in what we hope for and assurance what we do not see.” (Hebrews 11:1)

Quote #3

“The situations that will stretch your faith most will be those times when life falls apart and God is nowhere to be found.” (Rick Warren)

Bonus Quote

“I believe in the sun even when it is not shining. I believe in love even when I cannot feel it. I believe in God even when He is silent.” (A quote written on a wall in one of the concentration camps during the Holocaust).

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

An Existential Crisis Of Faith…

There have been so many times over the last few years where I’ve found myself questioning whether God even exists. With the amount of pain and suffering I’ve had for over ten years now with little to no relief and countless unanswered prayers surrounding it’s plaguing persistence, I’ve been having this existential crisis of faith more than not these days.

While faith has been the very thing that’s kept me going thus far, it’s also led me to having this daily philosophical debate with myself surrounding the existence of God. Chronic pain and suffering of any sort seem to have a way of doing this. And for people of faith, when things aren’t going their way, that often seems to become the case, especially when chronic pain and suffering get involved. Everyone knows how easy it is to follow God and praise God when life is going their way. But when life falls apart, and remains fallen apart for a good chunk of time, it’s becomes just as easy for one to lose their faith and belief in God.

I’m sure many on this planet are currently going through their own crises of faith in light of this ongoing pandemic that has taken so many souls already from this planet. The loss of a loved one, specifically when it’s taken abruptly, truly can make one question whether God exists. I went through that very thing after my father took his life, as well as when my mother had her tragic drunken fall down the stairs. After both of their deaths, I went through a number of years wondering whether God was just something people made up. But, I never fully stopped believing in God, even when I doubted in God greatly back then, and somehow that faith kept me going through it all. Somehow that faith kept me supported through all the pain and suffering I faced surrounding my parent’s deaths. I can absolutely attest that if I hadn’t had my faith during those periods after their deaths, I would have turned to hard core addictions and probably taken my life like they did.

That being said, I’ve kept my faith in God over the past decade, even as so many years passed one by one with such great pain and suffering. But that’s not to say that all this chronic pain and suffering hasn’t corrupted my mind, because it has, especially as this pandemic has left me at home more than not to sit in my pain and suffering, with relatively nothing to keep my brain occupied from it. That’s a really dangerous place for an addict of my nature to be in and I’ve had to fight off many urges of wanting to give into carnal desires to numb myself and some to even take my life.

There have been a number of individuals in recent years who’ve asked me what I’m going to do if this pain and suffering never goes away. I try to not go there in my brain because the only thing that has kept me going after all this time is my faith in God that it IS going to get better one day. But, for the sake of argument, what IF it does never go away and what if I do give up my faith in the process. What’s happens then?

A life of becoming heavily medicated to deal with it all?

A life of negativity and anger that comes from resentment towards my life and God?

A life of turning back to addictions to numb myself and cope?

Or a life not worth living at all just like my mom and dad felt and chose?

I honestly can’t see anything positive coming out of giving up my faith in God because it’s this faith that has provided me the ONE thing that a life without faith can’t provide throughout all this pain and suffering, and that’s HOPE.

Hope in that all my pain and suffering isn’t the end of this life’s story.

Hope in that there’s a greater purpose for all this pain and suffering that’s beyond my understanding.

Hope in that everything does happen for a reason, even if I may never know what those reasons are.

And hope in that a brighter day will come for me.

My father and mother both gave up their faith and lost any hope of living because of it. That’s why I must keep my faith because I don’t want my life to end like either of theirs did.

But, will my faith in God ever lead to anything better than all this pain and suffering I continue to face in my mind and body, I don’t know, yet I choose to keep my faith anyway. Because at its very core, keeping that type of faith is the truest definition of faith itself, one that continues to believe, even when it feels like there’s no real reason to believe anymore…

Peace, love, light, joy,
Andrew Artur Dawson

Silly Joke Friday

Silly Joke #1

If great men throughout history had smoked reefer, there’s no telling what would have happened. Like if somebody like Martin Luther King Jr. had smoked reefer, he would have been giving speeches like, “I have a dream… but the hell if I can remember what it was all about. I think it was either about freedom or Fritos?

Silly Joke #2

An office executive was interviewing a blonde for an assistant position, and wanted to find out a little about her personality. “If you could have a conversation with anyone, alive or dead, who would it be?” he asked. “I’d have to say the living one.” she responded.

Silly Joke #3

Two rabbits were being chased by a pack of hungry wolves. The wolves chased the rabbits into a thicket. After a few minutes, one rabbit turned to the other and said, “Well, do you want to make a run for it, or should we stay here for a few days and out number them?”

Bonus Silly Joke

Little Johnny sees his Daddy’s car passing the playground and going into the woods. Curious, he follows the car and sees Daddy and Aunt Jane kissing. Johnny finds this so exciting and can barely contain himself as he runs home and starts to tell his mother excitedly. “MOMMY, MOMMY, I WAS AT THE PLAYGROUND AND DADDY AND…” Mommy tells him to slow down, but that she wants to hear the story. So Johnny tells her. “I was at the playground and I saw Daddy’s car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went to look and Daddy was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt, then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane laid down on the seat, then Daddy…” At this point, Mommy cut him off and said, “Johnny, this is such an interesting story, suppose you save the rest of it for supper time. I want to see the look on Daddy’s face when you tell it tonight.” At the dinner table, Mommy asks Johnny to tell his story. He describes the car into the woods, the undressing, laying down on the seat, and, “then Daddy and Aunt Jane did that same thing Mommy and Uncle Jeff used to do when Daddy was in the Army.”

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson