Silly Joke #1
A new hair salon opened up for business right across the street from the old established hair cutters’ place. They put up a big bold sign which read: “WE GIVE SEVEN DOLLAR HAIR CUTS!” Not to be outdone, the old Master Barber put up his own sign: “WE FIX SEVEN DOLLAR HAIR CUTS!”
Silly Joke #2
A woman meant to call a record store but dialed the wrong number and got a private home instead but didn’t know it. “Do you have ‘Eyes of Blue’ and ‘A Love Supreme’?” she asked. “Well, no,” answered the puzzled homeowner. But I HAVE got a wife and eleven children.” “Is that a record?” she inquired. “I don’t think so,” replied the man, “but it’s as close as I want to get to setting one!”
Silly Joke #3
A lawyer meets with the family of a recently deceased millionaire for the reading of the will. ‘To my loving wife, Rose, who always stood by me, I leave the house and $2 million,’ the attorney reads. ‘To my darling daughter, Jessica, who looked after me in sickness and kept the business going, I leave the yacht, the business and $1 million.’ ‘And finally,’ the lawyer concludes, ‘to my cousin Dan, who hated me, argued with me and thought I would never mention him in my will. Well, you were wrong. Hi Dan!’
Bonus Silly Joke
Arnold and his wife were cleaning out the attic one day when he came across a ticket from the local shoe repair shop. The date stamped on the ticket showed that it was over eleven years old. They both laughed and tried to remember which of them might have forgotten to pick up a pair of shoes over a decade ago. “Do you think the shoes will still be in the shop?” Arnold asked. “Not very likely,” his wife said. “It’s worth a try,” Arnold said, pocketing the ticket. He went downstairs, hopped into the car, and drove to the store. With a straight face, he handed the ticket to the man behind the counter. With a face just as straight, the man said, “Just a minute. I’ll have to look for these.” He disappeared into a dark corner at the back of the shop. Two minutes later, the man called out, “Here they are!” “No kidding?” Arnold called back. “That’s terrific! Who would have thought they’d still be here after all this time.” The man came back to the counter, empty-handed. “They’ll be ready Thursday,” he said calmly.
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson
