Silly Joke #1
A woman takes her 16-year-old daughter to the doctor. “Okay, Mrs. Jones, what’s the problem?” The mother says, “It’s my daughter, Debbie. She keeps getting these strange cravings, she’s putting on weight, and she is sick most mornings.” The doctor gives Debbie a very quick examination, then turns to the mother and says, “C’mon Mrs. Jones, it’s obvious that Debbie is pregnant–about four months would be my guess!” The mother says angrily, “Pregnant?! There’s no way, my sweet innocent little girl, she has never been left alone with a man! Isn’t that right Debbie, tell him!” Debbie says, “No mother! I’ve never even kissed a man!” The doctor suddenly walked over to the window and stared outside. About five minutes passed before the mother sounding very irritated said, “Well, are you just going to stand there and stare out the window in silence?!” The doctor said with a slight grin, “Well you seem Mrs. Jones, the last time anything like this happened, a star appeared in the east and three wise men came over the hill. So, I figured I wouldn’t want to miss such a thing right?!”
Silly Joke #2
Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served. When little Logan received his plate, he started eating right away. “Logan, wait until we say our prayer,” his mother reminded him. “I don’t have to,” the little boy replied. “Of course you do Logan,” his mother insisted, “you know we always say a prayer before eating at our house to bless the food.” “That’s at our house Mom,” Logan explained, “but this is Grandma’s house and she knows how to cook, so I assumed we didn’t need to bless it.”
Silly Joke #3
A husband and wife are watching “Who Wants To Be a Millionaire,” and the husband winks and says, “Honey, let’s go upstairs…” The wife says no, so the husband asks again. Again she says no. So the husband says, “Is that your final answer?” The wife says yes. The husband says, “Well, can I phone a friend?”
Bonus Silly Joke (Adult humor)
A man is dating three women and wants to decide which to marry. He decides to give them a test. He gives each woman a present of $5000 and waits to see what they do with the money. The first does a total makeover. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new make up and buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much. The man was impressed. The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes for him as well. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much. Again, the man is impressed. The third invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much. Obviously, the man was very impressed with that. So, he thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money, and the answer seemed overly clear to him now which one he should marry, so he chose the one with the largest breasts.
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson
