Silly Joke #1
Michigan Lawyer: “Well Barney, so you want me to defend you? Have you got any money?”
Barney: “No sir. I ain’t got no money, but I do have me a 1928 Ford Car!”
Lawyer: “Well I’m sure you can raise money on that. Now let’s see, just what do they accuse you of stealing?”
Barney: “A 1928 Ford Car.”
Silly Joke #2
A guy goes to a girl’s house for the first time, and she shows him into the living room. She excuses herself to go to the kitchen to make them a few drinks, and as he’s standing there alone, he notices a cute little vase on the mantel. He picks it up, and as he’s looking at it, she walks back in. He says “What’s this?” She says, “Oh, my father’s ashes are in there.” He says, “Jeez…ohhh….I…” She says, “Yeah, he’s too lazy to go to the kitchen to get an ashtray.”
Silly Joke #3
My wife: You need to do more chores around the house.
Me: Can we change the subject?
My wife: Okay. More chores around the house need to be done by you.
Bonus Silly Joke
It was many years ago since the embarrassing day when a young woman, with a baby in her arms, entered his butcher shop and confronted the butcher with the news that the baby was his and asked what was he going to do about it? Finally he offered to provide her with free meat until the boy was 16. She agreed. He had been counting the years off on his calendar, and one day the teenager who had been collecting the meat each week, came into the shop and said, “I’ll be 16 tomorrow.” I know,” said the butcher with a smile, “I’ve been counting too, tell your mother, when you take this parcel of meat home, that it is the last free meat she’ll get, and watch the expression on her face.” When the boy arrived home he told his mother. The woman nodded and said, “Son, go back to the butcher and tell him I have also had free bread, free milk, and free groceries for the last 16 years and watch the expression on HIS face!”
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson
