Silly Joke #1
Two gas company servicemen, a senior training supervisor and a young trainee, were out checking meters in a suburban neighborhood. They parked their truck the end of the alley and worked their way to the other end. At the last house, they noticed a beautiful blonde looking out her kitchen window watching them as they checked her gas meter. Finishing the meter check, the senior supervisor challenged his younger coworker to a foot race down the alley back to the truck to prove that an older guy could outrun a younger one. The younger trainee took him up on his offer and they were off and running like bats out of hell. As they came running up to the truck neck to neck, they suddenly realized the blonde from that last house had just arrived behind them huffing and puffing. The senior training supervisor asked her if everything was ok. Gasping for breath, she replied, “Well, when I see two men from the gas company suddenly running as fast as you two were away after reading my meter, I figured I’d better run away as well!!!”
Silly Joke #2
An overly confident guy gets on a plane and finds himself seated next to a very attractive woman. He immediately turns to her and begins to make his move. “You know,” he says, “I’ve heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger sitting next to you. So I’d like to chat if you would?” The woman, who had just opened her book, closes it slowly and says to the guy, “Sure, what would you like to talk about?” “Oh, I don’t know, how about nuclear power?”, says the guy trying to over-inflate his ego. “Hmmm,” says the woman. “That could be an interesting topic. But first, let me ask you a question. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff–grass. Yet the deer excretes little pellets, the cow turns out a flat patty, and the horse produces muffins of dried poop. Why do you suppose that is?” The ego-centric guy is dumbfounded. Finally he replies, “I haven’t the slightest idea?” “Well, if that’s the case…” says the woman, “How is it that you feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you really don’t know shit?”
Silly Joke #3
A man and a woman had been married some time when the woman began to question her husband. “I know you’ve been with a lot of woman before. I want to know exactly how many there were?” The husband replied, “Look hon, telling you that is only going to upset you. I really don’t want to do that because there were many. Can we just leave it alone?” The wife wouldn’t let it rest and finally, the husband gave in. “Well…” he said “There was one, two, three, four, five, six, YOU, eight, nine…”
Bonus Silly Joke
Voicemail Recording: “Hello there! It’s a great day and I’m out enjoying it right now and I hope you are too. Please leave me a message don’t forget to be positive and share the love ok?”
Voicemail Left After The Message: “Um….this is the clinic calling…Speaking of being positive, your VD test is back. You may want to stop sharing the love for a while…”
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson
