Silly Joke #1 (2 Little Johnny quick jokes)
Teacher: “Does everyone know what a headache is?”
Class (in unison): “Yesss!!”
Teacher: “Great. Now then, what does your mother do to make her headache go away?”
Little Johnny (blurting out his answer as always): “She sends me out to play!”
Teacher: “Okay, class. Today we’re going to be talking about the tenses. If I say ‘I’m beautiful,’ which tense is it?”
Little Johnny (yelling out as always): “That’s obvious, it’s past tense!”
Silly Joke #2
A frustrated wife was talking to her blonde best friend. “I don’t know what’s wrong with my husband. He put a slice of cucumber up his nose, a piece of carrot in his left ear and a dab of banana in his right ear in our last few meals together. What do you think is wrong with him? The blonde replied calmly, “I think it’s pretty simple? He’s not eating properly…”
Silly Joke #3
Two young adult males were talking over a beer one night. Their conversation drifted from politics to cooking. “I got a cookbook a few weeks ago,” said the first, “but I wasn’t able to do anything with it.” “Way too complicated of recipes I bet right?” asked the second. “Nah. It was because each said you start by taking a clean dish….”
Bonus Silly Joke
A wealthy woman was sure that her wealthy husband was cheating on her with their live-in maid. So she laid down a trap. One evening she suddenly sent the maid home for the weekend after her husband had already gone upstairs for bed. When she turned in not too long later, the husband soon gave her the same old story. “Hon, I can’t sleep. I’m going to go downstairs and watch some tv for a little while. But first, I need to go to go to the bathroom.” As soon as he had left and went into the bathroom, with her assuming he was freshening up for the maid, she promptly ran into the maid’s bedroom and closed the door. She switched the lights off and got under the covers of the maid’s bed. The door to the maid’s room opened not too long after that. When he crawled in bed next to her and rolled on top of her she immediately screamed at him, “I knew it! You cheating louse of a husband!!!” She then switched on the light and saw their live-in gardener with his mouth gaping wide open in horror.
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson
