Silly Joke #1
A kindergarten teacher was talking to the children seated on the floor around her. She removed her glasses to clean them as she continued to talk. “Wow, Miss Collins!” one child exclaimed. “You look really young without your glasses on!” Then mischievous Little Johnny blurted out, “Yeah, I bet that’s not the case when she takes her teeth out at night!”
Silly Joke #2
A beautiful blond young woman from the farm country had never gone to the big city before finally decides to go and checks in to a nice hotel downtown. The hotel clerk reminds her during check-in of the time for meals at their restaurant. “Breakfast is served from 7 to 11, lunch from 12 to 3, and supper from 6 to 8,” explained the clerk. “Look here!,” said the country blond, “When am I ever going to get time to see the city if I’m at the hotel eating all the time?!”
Silly Joke 3
A wealthy man had an affair with a beautiful single Italian woman for several months. One night, during one of their rendezvous, she confided in him that she had become pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum of money if she would remain in Italy to secretly have their child. If she stayed in Italy to raise their child, he also said he would provide abundant child support until the child turned 18. She agreed to his conditions, but asked how he would know when the baby was born. To keep it discreet, he told her simply to mail him a post card, and write “Spaghetti” on the back. He would then arrange for the child support payments to begin. One day, about 9 months later, he came home to a confused wife. “Honey,” she said, “you received a very odd post card today.” “Oh, let me have a look…” he said. The wife gave him the card, and he read it aloud, “Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Two with meatballs, one without!” and then fainted.
Bonus Silly Joke (Adult Humor)
Sherry lost her husband almost four years ago and still hasn’t gotten out of her mourning stage. Her daughter constantly urges her to get back into the dating world. Finally, Sherry says she’ll go out, but doesn’t know anyone. Her daughter immediately replies, “Mama! I have someone for you to meet.” Well, it’s an immediate hit. They really like one another and after dating for six weeks, he asks her to join him for a weekend in the mountains. Their first night there, she undresses as he does. There she stands nude except for a pair of black lacy panties, he in his birthday suit. Looking at her he asks, “Why the black panties?” She replies, “My breasts you can fondle, my body is yours to explore, but down there I am still in mourning.” Obviously, he knows he’s not getting lucky that night. The following night the same scenario. She’s standing there with the black panties on, and he is in his birthday suit…except… this time he has a black prophylactic over his manhood. She looks at him and asks, “What’s with the…uh…black prophylactic?” He replies, “I’d like to offer my deepest condolences.”
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson
