Silly Joke #1
A man is driving down a country road, when he spots a beautiful blond just standing in the middle of nowhere in a huge field of grass. He pulls the car over to the side of the road to see if she needs help. “Hello, are you ok? Do you need some assistance?” The beautiful blond replies, “I’m fine, this is actually the edge of my husband’s property, he’s a farmer. And I’m trying to win a Nobel Prize today.” “What? How?” asks the man, puzzled. “Well I heard the Nobel Prize is usually given to people who are out standing in their field.”
Silly Joke #2
When Jack died, his lawyer was standing before the family and reading his last will and testament: “To my dear wife Esther, I leave the house, 50 acres of land, and one million dollars. To my son Barry, I leave my big Lexus and the Jaguar. To my daughter Suzy, I leave my yacht and $250,000. And to my brother Jeff, who always annoyed me by insisting that improving your health is far better than having a ton of wealth, I leave my sun lamp.”
Silly Joke #3
One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her small boy, Little Johnny, a boy who always said the most inappropriate of things, into bed. She was about to turn off the light when Little Johnny asked with a tremor in his voice, “Mommy, will you sleep next to me tonight?” The mother had been trying to wean Johnny off from relying on her to sleep next to him so she responded, “Not tonight honey, I need to sleep in Daddy’s room ok?” Little Johnny replied angrily, “The big sissy!”
Bonus Silly Joke
Little Johnny was now grown up and actually got a scholarship to Harvard. During his first week on campus, he was still learning to get around the place and was trying to find the library to meet up with a study group. While wandering around, he sees an older, distinguished-looking professor walking by and asks him for directions. “Excuse me,” he asks, “do you know where the library is at?” The professor stops, looks at him, and scoffs, “Son, at Harvard one would never end any sentence with a preposition…”. “Ok. Fine. Do you know where the library is at, asshole?”
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson
😇❤️☝️