Silly Joke #1 (2 Little Johnny Jokes!)
Mischievous six-year-old Little Johnny comes crying to his mother because his little sister pulled his hair. “Don’t be angry,” the Mother says, “Your little sister doesn’t realize that pulling hair hurts.” A short while later, there’s more crying, and his mother goes to investigate. This time the sister is bawling and Little Johnny says… “Well, now she knows…”
“I’m worried about you always being at the bottom of your class Johnny,” said the father to his son Little Johnny, a kid who always said the most inappropriate of things.” “It’s alright Dad,” Little Johnny replied. “You know they still teach the same thing at both ends…”
Silly Joke #2
Judy: My boyfriend John was pretty rude to me last night, so I slapped his face. I felt totally awful afterward and was sorry I did it.
Trudy: Because you still care about him?
Judy: No, because he was chewing some tobacco in his mouth at the time I did it!
Silly Joke #3
Larry: Do you know my boss made me go into the office on Labor Day?
Seth: Really?! That sucks!
Larry: Yeah, and halfway through the day, he came in to check up on me and caught me having a beer.
Seth: What did he say?
Larry: He said, “You can’t drink while you’re working!”
Seth: So did you stop drinking?
Larry: No, actually I told him, “Oh, don’t worry – I’m not really working.”
Bonus Silly Joke
A big-shot businessman had to spend a couple of days in the hospital. He was a royal pain to the nurses because he bossed them around just like he did his employees. None of the hospital staff wanted to have anything to do with him. The head nurse was the only one who could stand up to him. She came into his room and announced, “I have to take your temperature Mr. Jones.” He complained as usual for being interrupted from what he was doing on his laptop, crossed his arms and opened his mouth. “No, I’m sorry,” the nurse stated, “but for this reading, I cannot use an oral thermometer.” This started another round of complaining, but eventually he rolled over and bared his rear end. After feeling the nurse insert the thermometer, he heard her announce, “I will be right back to check on this. Please stay in that position until I get back and do not move.” She left the door to his room open on her way out. He cursed under his breath as he heard people constantly walking past his door, laughing. Ten minutes later, the man’s best friend showed up to see how he was doing and laughed. Angrily, his big-shot businessman friend said, “What, you’ve never seen someone get their temperature taken???” “Yeah man, I have, but I don’t think the carnation sitting in the center of your ass right now is going to accomplish that, although I do think you have a fever because it’s kind of wilting!!!”
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson
