Silly Joke #1
After church, Little Johnny and his younger brother decide to go ice fishing. Little Johnny begins creating a hole on the ice when a voice from above says, “Young man, there’s no fish down there. You need to stop making that hole.” Little Johnny asks his younger brother, “Who was that?” His younger brother replied, “I don’t know Johnny.” Little Johnny shrugs his shoulders and starts to work again on making the hole when the voice suddenly says, “For the second time, there’s no fish down there. You need to stop making that hole!” Little Johnny then asks his younger brother, “Could that be God?” His younger brother replied, “I don’t know, maybe?“ Little Johnny shrugs his shoulder and continues working on the hole when the voice appears behind them. Little Johnny and his younger brother turn around and a man says, “Young man, for the last time, I’m telling you there’s no fish down there. Please stop making a hole!” Johnny looks up and asks, “Are you, God?” The man responded, “No, I’m the manager of this outdoor ice skating rink!”
Silly Joke #2
At one point during a game, the coach said to one of his young players, “Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?” The little boy nodded in the affirmative. “Do you understand that what matters is whether we win together as a team?” The little boy nodded yes. “So,” the coach continued, “when a strike is called, or you’re out at first, you don’t argue or curse or attack the umpire. Do you understand all that?” Again the little boy nodded. “Good,” said the coach. “Now, do you think you can you go over there and explain that to your mother?”
Silly Joke #3
A conservative religious mother of a 17-year-old girl was concerned that her daughter was having sex. Worried she might become pregnant and adversely impact the family’s name, she consulted their family doctor for guidance on how to approach the subject. The doctor told her that teenagers today were very willful and any attempt to stop her daughter might result in rebellion. He suggested maybe her daughter would be open to taking birth control pills, but in the meantime, to talk to her and offer her a box of condoms. As much as that wasn’t the advice she wanted to hear, she thanked him. Later that evening, as her daughter was preparing for her date, her mother suggested birth control and handed her a box of condoms as well. Her daughter then burst out laughing and reached over to hug her mother and said, “Oh Mom! You have nothing to worry about!!! Because I’ve been trying to find a way to tell you, I’m dating Susan!”
Bonus Silly Joke
Joey’s 9th grade teacher sent a quick personal note along with his grades home to his mother that said, “Joey is a very intelligent kid, but he spends far too much of his time thinking about sex and girls and always seems to be talking about it with his friends, creating a lot of distraction for others. Joey’s mother took some personal time to write Joey’s teacher back and sent it off with Joey the next school day. When Joey’s teacher opened it, he read, “If you find a solution for this, please advise. Because I have the same problem with Joey’s father..”
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson
