Grateful Heart Monday

Welcome to this week’s Grateful Heart Monday entry, which for today is for Katelyn Smith, who is the District Manager of Starbucks in my region and someone who went above and beyond to help me with a growing issue I’ve been having with my usual coffee order at a number of her stores.

It’s no secret that I’m addicted to Starbucks coffee. If you ever want to find me on any given afternoon, there’s a good chance I’m consuming a coffee during that time at one of the Starbucks locations in my region. Over the last few years, I have grown to love one single drink more than any other, and on most days many baristas know me well enough that they are already placing my order as soon as I walk up to the register. My drink is a Venti (large) Vanilla Sweet Cream Cold Brew, sub out the vanilla syrup for 5 pumps of mocha, no ice, vanilla sweet cream on the side, and two Trenta (extra-large) cups of ice on the side.

For many, me included, Starbucks coffee is too strong on its own, so I always dilute my large beverage into two extra-large cups of ice, adding my vanilla sweet cream to both. I generally consume one in the afternoon, and one later at night, as I do try to limit my caffeine intake. In recent months though, I began facing an issue with this drink where employees were trying to charge me for the amount of vanilla sweet cream I use. I tend to like my coffee more sweet than bitter and use the additional vanilla sweet cream in each of those extra-large cups of ice. For the longest time, none of the baristas anywhere had an issue with this. In recent months though, that changed. Some employees, including even a manager, began telling me that I need to start paying $1.25 for the extra vanilla sweet cream. One employee recently even went so far as to tell me I needed to pay $4 for the extra vanilla sweet cream because it constituted an entirely new beverage. I began to feel shamed by employees over this issue, and as it continued to happen, I became embarrassed just to order my drink, which is why I opted one day to contact Corporate Starbucks to see what they had to say.

I spoke with a senior supervisor there who told me that because my vanilla sweet cream was already part of the cost of the beverage I order, that having the additional amount wasn’t a problem and I should never be charged anything extra for it. They then contacted my local District Manager, Katelyn Smith, to follow up with me on the issue, who in turn reached out and set up an in-person meeting with me. I was nervous about this meeting, as I had been given so much flack lately about this silly issue. What I received though from her was a very warm welcome, a sincere understanding, and an immense amount of gratitude for just bringing the issue to her attention in the first place, something she said most normally don’t and she wished they would. She assured me she would correct the problem by talking to all her store managers and even told me to reach out to her if I encountered the problem again, as she would immediately address it. We actually spent an hour together discussing this and many other things about Starbucks in general, which I must say, Katelyn is a really great listener who has a huge amount of empathy. I could see why she is a District Manager, because of how much she made sure to address all my concerns with the level of compassion she had. At the end of our meeting before she had to leave, she even bought me my usual beverage, an action that simply blew me away.

I honestly wish all managers and supervisors in this world were like Katelyn Smith. Talking to her felt very down-to-earth and was truly a sincere pleasure. Because of it, I’ve dedicated today’s Grateful Heart Monday to her, not just because she addressed my Starbucks issue with grace, but also for reminding me why Starbucks is a company that always does go above and beyond to retain their customers, which is why I keep going back daily for my coffee. Thank you, Katelyn, for being an amazing District Manager and for helping me! I’m very grateful.

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Thought For The Day

In light of all the judgements many have made of me unfairly, especially here in the Midwest, I wanted to share some quotes that meant something to me about what I feel real love and friendship is all about…

“Always love your friends from your heart, not from your mood or need.” (Unknown)

“The most basic need a soul has is to experience unconditional love and acceptance.” (Unknown)

“Once you learn to accept and love friends for who they are, you subconsciously learn to love yourself unconditionally.” (Yvonne Pierre)

“Those who love you are not fooled by mistakes you have made or dark images you hold about yourself. They remember your beauty when you feel ugly; your wholeness when your broken; your innocence when you feel guilty; and your purpose when you are confused.” (Alan Cohen)

“I don’t want someone who sees only the good about me, I want someone who sees the bad and still loves me.” (Unknown)

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Why Do People Rarely Seem To See The Good In Me Around Here?

Why do people rarely seem to see the good in me around here? This is the main question I continue to wrestle with immensely the more I face the rejection I do here in this region of the world I reside in. And with each passing year, it only seems to grow worse. My only reprieve now are the mini trips I take away from this area where I don’t seem to face this rejection.

I recently faced this rejection with a local fraternity alumni association I’m part of here, where two members of it whom I’ve only spent about 2 hours of time with overall since I first met them made blanket statements about me. Blanket statements that weren’t favorable at all and filled with judgement, enough so that I’ve been told they aren’t sure they want to sit with me again in a meeting.

I have been struggling with this type of harsh response towards me in this area repeatedly. Never did I go through this prior to moving to this part of the country. How many times this continues to happen here where I’m treated unfairly and unlovingly, I’ve honestly lost track. Why people don’t focus on the positive work I am doing, I don’t know? While I do my best to look for the good in everyone, no matter what, as I do believe there is good in everyone, for whatever the reason, far too many here focus on all the negative qualities they perceive in me.

I have worked so hard to erase my selfish past, to be more unconditionally loving, and to give the shirt off my back for people in need. Yet, time and time and time again I have had one person after another here judge me repeatedly, some even viciously directly attacking me, while others talk quite harshly about me behind my back, never once focusing on any of my positive traits, or caring about the heart I have, stomping on it incredibly in the process. Frankly, it feels like I am continuously judged, tried, and executed here by a jury who never has been willing to truly hear my case.

Every, single, day I ask God to guide my life, to be unconditionally loving, and to help me overcome all my pain and health issues and character defects. I field plenty of phone calls for recovery daily doing my best to help whomever is on the other end with love and light. I meet with tons of hurting people all the time just because I want them to know they are loved and cared about. I run meetings with faith hoping it’s helping them somehow and do countless speaking engagements simply trying to pass on my experience, strength, and hope to those in attendance. Yet, I continue to be judged in a negative light regardless. The fact is, most here in this neck of the woods have never seemed to like me from the start. Even my partner’s family has unfairly judged me from the beginning.

Whenever I’ve asked individuals around here why they think this is, I’m told maybe I should try more of “this”, and so I try to do more of “this”, and they continue to not like me. Others say I should try more of “that”, and so I try to do more of “that”, and yet they still don’t like me. It hasn’t mattered whether I try to go up, or down, or left, or right, or jump, or sit still, as no matter what I’ve done to find acceptance here in the Midwest, it just hasn’t happened.

I know I’m a good person. I know I have a good heart. And I know I care about people…A LOT, even when they don’t like me or care about me one bit. Like one of my bordering neighbors, someone I helped restore her front yard over the past six years, never asking for anything in return, who suddenly decided to scream at me at the top of her lungs the other day, for all the neighbors to hear, over an issue that I was fully willing to talk peacefully about. She too has never liked me from the start and always has believed I had some hidden agenda doing all the work I did for free, when I never had any agenda at all other than to add beauty to the world. But even with her yelling at and hating me, I still care about her.

I wasn’t always this type of person though. I used to be such a terrible and selfish person who hated everybody, including myself. 12 Step recovery changed that. And so did my relationship with God. I know my best friend Cedric would support these statements and say how much I’ve become a far more selfless and unconditionally loving individual now. Why people around here never seem to focus on that, I frankly don’t know.

So, if you happen to be someone who is judging me, or labeling me negatively, or purposely avoiding me, or has a less opinion of me, know my heart grieves surrounding this because I try so hard to be a good person on this planet. Why you don’t see that, I don’t know. I still love you unconditionally nonetheless. Why? Because God opened my heart enough to see the good in you, even when you can’t or won’t and may never will see the good in me. And I’m ok with that because God knows I am a good person. I pray one day you’ll see that too…

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson