“We do not like to pronounce any individual as alcoholic, but you can quickly diagnose yourself. Step over to the nearest barroom and try some controlled drinking. Try to drink and stop abruptly. Try it more than once. It will not take long for you to decide, if you are honest with yourself about it. It may be worth a bad case of jitters if you get a full knowledge of your condition.” (Bill Wilson)
I’m often drawn to these very words that Bill Wilson wrote in the Alcoholics Anonymous book solely because I believe they can be related to a lot more conditions in life than just an alcohol problem. How many times I’ve come to that place in life where I realized I was doing something that was unhealthy for me, stopped it for a period of time, then told myself later it was never that bad and convinced myself to try it again. I’ve actually done that “controlled barroom drinking approach” in so many facets of my life I’ve lost count and every time I have tried it, my case of “jitters” only grew worse. In fact, the last time I tried to control one of my unhealthy behaviors, I ended up attempting suicide. I’ve come across similar horror stories from plenty of other people who tried the controlled approach themselves. Some went to prison in the process, while others suffered major medical traumas, a bunch experienced huge financial losses, and sadly a few even lost their lives. Unfortunately, in this day and age, the “controlled drinking approach” isn’t always ending with just a bad case of “jitters” anymore. Nowadays it seems to be causing a lot more damage and wreckage than ever before. That’s why I thank God everyday I don’t attempt this controlled approach anymore once I realize I have a problem with something, because I know the only thing that will come out of one more attempt at trying it, is a slew of pain, and doesn’t life already have enough of that?
I pray that once I realize I have a problem with something in life and know it’s not healthy for me to do anymore, that I don’t try to control it and instead, seek guidance from my Higher Power to abstain from it for good.
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson
