I had a dream the other night of a person who only recently has become an estranged friend in my life. This was the same person I wrote about not too long ago who accidentally butt-dialed me in which I overheard them speaking negatively of me. Thankfully, the dream I had of them wasn’t negative though. Instead it played out something that I know my heart wishes for which is reconciliation.
I’m not one to hold onto grudges, resentments, or ill-will with anyone these days. I find it toxic to my mind, body, and soul when I do hold onto any of that. This principle obviously holds true with this estranged friend as evident in my dream, as there we shared a moment where I let them know I wasn’t mad and had already forgiven them. After this we embraced where they proceeded to sob in my arms, letting me know they were ready to let go of their own pain as well.
While I hold out hope that something similar to this scenario may happen one day with this person, I was at least comforted to see my subconscious wasn’t holding onto any negative feelings toward them either. But sadly, I know I can’t force reconciliation with them, especially if they’re not ready.
This became rather evident when I went to a meeting last week where this personally normally attends. I had some fear walking in, as I wasn’t sure if they would even greet me. Unfortunately, I never got the chance to see because I found out later they pulled into the parking lot and decided not to come in.
I know things like this get resolved in God’s timing and not my own, it’s just frustrating having to wait. And in all honesty, it feels like I’m having to wait on God lately for pretty much everything in my life to get resolved and that seems to be taking an incredible amount of patience and walking through a ton of fear. But I know in the long run it is worth it to wait on God, because every time I allow my will to get involved to move something along, the outcome is never quite good.
So while reconciliation has yet to take place with my friend, I’m still glad nevertheless that I can see all parts of me have already come to forgiveness. And hopefully one day God will help them feel the same with me…
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson
