Author: Andrew Arthur Dawson

If you have ever suffered from spiritual, mental, emotional, or physical pain, how have you handled it? Did you try to numb it with something until it went away? Or did you totally feel, deal, and then find yourself completely heal from it?

I heard this expression long ago about the feel, deal, and heal path of life in that it’s next to impossible for any of us to ever heal from anything unless we feel and deal with it first. It took me a good while to figure this out, but over time I did and now it’s become my way of living.

I honestly think it’s quite common for most of us in this world to want to numb ourselves when anything painful happens. Life has many of those moments such as ones that deal with death and dying, poor health issues, friendships ending, job losses, divorces and break-ups, financial hardships, and well I’m sure you get the point. But how does each of us go through any one of these things when they happen to us? Movies and television shows constantly tell us that alcohol and drugs are the primary source of comfort we should seek when any of them manifest, except that’s an illusion as they’re only numbing a person from beginning that path to healing. There are plenty of others ways we can numb ourselves in this world as well if any one of these burdens in life should arise. Overeating, smoking, binge shopping, becoming highly medicated, and gambling are just some of the many ways we may try to do that. Unfortunately, none of these things do anything more than stave off the healing process. In other words, they suppress our pain for a time, and in my case, for years.

Take for example when I went off to college. I knew then on some level that I was attracted to the same sex as me and that was an extremely painful time in my life. I didn’t want to be that way, as it wasn’t the norm I saw around me so I chose alcohol and drugs as my outlet to numb myself from feeling any of it. Four years later I was no closer to dealing with that pain and instead alcohol and drugs were ruling my life. It took me getting fully clean and sober from them both to begin the path of dealing with my sexuality. And eventually, once I dealt with it enough through therapy, recovery, and the like I came to acceptance and was healed from the pain it originally caused me.

The same thing held true with my father’s suicide. Although I was clean and sober from alcohol and drugs when he passed, I utilized other numbing agents such as money, sex, and doctor’s prescriptions to bring me comfort. It took me three years to actually stop doing each of these things and start feeling the pain of his death in entirety instead. Once I did, I went to various support groups, joined a men’s spiritual organization, and used a therapist to deal with that pain. And eventually, once I dealt with it enough like I did with my sexuality, I came to acceptance and was healed from the pain of my father’s death that I had tried to avoid for all that time.

I have learned in my life through repeatedly trying to numb myself from any of life’s difficulties such as with my sexuality and my father’s suicide, that it will always just prolong that which I seek within, which is to heal. To get to the place where I became fully healed required me to feel the pain in its entirety first. It was never easy, but God consistently put enough support in my life when I became ready to completely face it without staying numb. Through that support, I was able to endure the pain until the day arrived when I reached acceptance of whatever the difficulty originally was. And time and time again when I did, that’s when I’ve realized I had ultimately been healed.

So if you should happen to be going through any one of life’s arduous moments at the present time, I encourage you to take a moment, breathe, and try to not numb yourself from feeling its pain. Fully feeling it in its entirety is so crucial to being able to fully deal with it. And fully dealing with it is so crucial to being able to fully heal from it. Don’t let your ego tell you otherwise like mine did for decades, and know that God can and will get you through whatever it is when you’re ready to face it unanesthetized…

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson

Sometimes we as human beings self construct our own prisons around ourselves. Quite often that can happen when we feel there are limitations being put on our life. I’m guilty of this, as I currently feel that way about several things I’m still dealing with in my own life. My spiritual teacher has challenged me though to write about each of them and then produce an affirming statement that flip-flops myself out of each of those self-made prisons. So here goes…

• Prison One – The biggest prison I feel I’ve constructed around me is one related to having the physical health issues and limitations I’ve been enduring for the past four and a half years. There are so many things I miss doing in life because of these physical limitations such as hiking, biking, walking, running, various sports, going to amusement parks, etc.
• Flip-Flop One – I am learning how to appreciate my current state of physical health so that I will have plenty of gratitude when my Higher Power restores all of my physical health and I’m being fully physically active once again in every area of my life.

• Prison Two – The second prison I feel I’ve constructed around me has to do with the meditations I do daily. It’s been more than seven years since I was able to achieve reaching any of the deeper meditative states no matter how hard I try.
• Flip-Flop Two – I am learning how important it is to not escape what I’m feeling inside, especially when I’m feeling down and out, and I know that once I’ve fully learned that lesson my Higher Power will lead me into meditations that are deeper than anything I’ve ever experienced.

• Prison Three – A third prison I feel I’ve constructed around me has to do with my lack of close friendships in life. Sometimes I believe that no one really gets me and that’s why I don’t have any close friends. While I may know a number of people in this world on a casual basis, I definitely would like to have a few become deeply spiritual-based friends who treasure me in their life.
• Flip-Flop Three – I am learning how to have a best friendship with myself first so that I can truly appreciate my own company, as the more I do this, the more I’m able to be a great friend and show unconditional love towards each of the people my Higher Power will be sending into my life to become a life-long spiritual friend.

• Prison Four – The fourth and final prison I feel I’ve constructed around me has to do with my ongoing lack of employment. It’s been almost five years now since I parted ways with my last job, which was the bed and breakfast I used to own. Since then, I’ve continued to question what my Higher Power wants me to do for a living but I know it’s not to randomly just do anything.
• Flip-Flop Four – I am learning how to be more selfless and giving in life by working first on my recovery, my writing, and volunteering so that my Higher Power will be able to use me for the job I’ve always been meant to do, which is one I know will bring me great happiness and joy doing.

As I end this exercise, which really was one that channeled the power of positive thinking, I’ve decided to reshape things by stating that I’m not in any type of prisons at all. Instead, I think it’s best for me to say that my Higher Power has me in some temporary waiting areas that are all for the purpose of my spiritual growth. But you know what? I think my number is about to be called in each of these areas and I truly can’t wait to see what’s next!

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson